You Again
by amyduckpond
Summary: Five years after graduation and Rachel Berry is still stuck in Lima, Ohio married to one Finn Hudson. On a trip to New York for her 22nd birthday, she runs into Jesse St. James who turns her whole life upside-down. St. Berry with a tad bit of Klaine
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I promise I haven't left my other fics I'm just having problems with getting the next chapters right and I want them to be perfect.**

**So this was born! (ps the dress mentioned is the one from when she was on Jay Leno)**

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><p>Rachel never planned to have the life she was now living. Five years after high school and where was she? Still stuck in Lima, Ohio. Not only that, but she was a typical American housewife. It was so beyond cliché for her liking, but it was the path she had chosen back in senior year.<p>

Finn had considered looking into the Army, thinking he had no better options. Until he realized that he would stay for Rachel. He asked her to marry him, and Rachel would feel terrible being the reason he went off to war, so she agreed.

Now, years later, it was one of the decisions she regretted most. Rachel would still feel awful if he had gone to war, but by now she knew she'd be on a Broadway stage. She could have gone to NYADA, or Juilliard, or Tisch. But no, she stayed here.

Rachel looked at the clock and sighed; Finn would be coming home soon from the shop. After high school Finn had taken over Kurt's dad's shop, since Kurt went to NYU for fashion design. Even Blaine was in New York now auditioning for every show possible.

She had talked on skype multiple times with the couple and they all decided her and Finn would visit soon. Rachel was going to propose the idea tonight, and since it was around her birthday she figured she could make a good argument.

Rachel immediately greeted her husband as he walked in the door, "Hey! Um dinner's ready, you wanna eat?"

Finn smiled, pecking her lips, "Yeah! Business was awesome today, and the guys had the game on in the other room, which we won."

She faked her happiness at his favorite football team winning. Even after all these years, Rachel never cared for the sport, or any sport really.

After sitting at the table quietly while Finn went on about today's game, she cleared her throat.

"You know my birthday's in a few days…"

He looked confused at first but soon smiled; Rachel wasn't surprised he had forgotten. He usually forgot things like that along with anniversaries.

"And I really miss Blaine and Kurt so I was wondering if maybe we could take a trip up to New York? I haven't seen Wicked in forever and I miss my step-brother in law and his boyfriend."

Finn contemplated Rachel's wish to go to New York and finally shrugged, "Yeah that sounds cool, I guess. I miss 'em too."

Pleased with herself, Rachel cleaned up her own plate, leaving Finn and his own at the table. She couldn't wait to tell her friends the news. Running over to her laptop, Rachel quickly opened Skype.

She stared at the screen until she saw two familiar faces beaming at her.

Not much to her surprise, Kurt was the first to speak, "So what'd he say?"

Blaine smiled, "Yeah, Rachel are you coming? We miss you!"

Rachel laughed at her friends and nodded, "I'll be there soon! I haven't told Finn our plane leaves Friday yet, but he said yes so I finally get to see you guys!"

Kurt began clapping, "I can't wait to see you! Oh I'm designing you a dress and we're going to see Wicked! Just like senior year when we went to New York, remember? Rachel I've missed you so much!"

Worried she might start crying, Rachel spoke quickly, "How could I ever forget? I have to go tell Finn we're leaving in four days, see you guys when we get there!"

After closing her laptop, Rachel let a few tears fall. She hadn't realized how much she truly missed her friends until she was getting the chance to see them again. Rachel began packing her suitcase and went downstairs to mention to Finn how soon it would be that they were going.

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><p>The couple ran into the airport, worried about missing their flight. Rachel usually enjoyed getting to the airport early so she wouldn't have to worry about things like this, but Finn however, was not as speedy. Reaching the platform in time, both sighed out of relief.<p>

Rachel looked ahead at the plane, "I thought we were going to miss it."

Finn nodded, "I did too for a second there."

Taking his hand, she led him onto the plane that would take them to her dream city. Unwillingly, Rachel let the thoughts of how her life would be had she chosen to live there instead of Lima. She quickly shook them away, worried that Finn would somehow read her mind.

During the plane ride, Finn had decided to sleep while Rachel listened to her iPod. She revisited all the show tunes she hadn't listened to in a while. There were some she never stopped listening to, but her husband wasn't a fan of most of them and Rachel felt like a bother playing them when he was around.

Looking out the window she caught a glimpse of the city, and as if on cue, NYC from Annie began playing. Rachel smiled to herself, remembering all of her trips to the place she called home, even if she didn't actually live there. The only memory from New York she wished to forget was Nationals her junior year. Yes she had gotten back with her boyfriend and now husband, but she also broke the heart of someone she cared for. Rachel sometimes let her mind wander about him; what he was doing, if he was successful at his life on the stage. She often thought to Google him, but opted against it for fear Finn would find out.

Rachel took out her earbuds and shook Finn awake since they would be landing soon. Taking out her phone before the stewardess would ask her to put it away, she sent a quick text to Kurt informing him they'd be arriving soon.

Finn, still in a daze, looked at Rachel, "Wh-where are we?"

She laughed at his sleepiness, "We're on a plane, silly! Going to New York, remember?"

There was a ding to signal the passengers to put their seat belts, "Speaking of which, we're about to land."

Finn nodded; although he was still waking up he was buckling his seat belt. "Are Kurt and Blaine meeting us at the airport?"

Rachel nodded in response, "We're going to drop our bags off and then the four of us are going to eat at some vegan place Blaine swears I'll adore."

He leaned his head back in his seat, "Ugh aren't you tired? Can't we just sleep?"

She sighed, "But it's New York!" Looking at her unwavering husband she shrugged, "I guess just Blaine, Kurt, and I can go. You can sleep if you want."

Finn smiled, "Thanks. I'm sure the three of you have a lot to catch up on anyway."

Rachel mumbled, "Not that I've done anything memorable recently."

He furrowed his eyebrows not being able to understand her, "What?"

She smiled brightly with a show face she had perfected over the years, "Nothing! I'm just sure their lives have been nothing but exciting."

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><p>Rachel walked next to Finn explaining their schedule whilst in New York. She wanted to have a plan so that there wasn't a single moment wasted. Once she saw her two best friends, she dropped her luggage and ran to give them a hug.<p>

Finn grabbed the things she had dropped and walked up to the three laughing, "Clearly Rachel's excited."

Giving his step-brother and friend each a hug, he smiled, "Well where's this apartment of yours?"

Blaine smiled, "Come on! We can all squeeze in a taxi, it's only a few minutes from here."

Rachel walked next to Blaine, talking nonstop about the city she hadn't seen in a few years. She missed this place and her friends more than anything in the world. It was invigorating to be back.

Once reaching their building, Kurt and Blaine walked hand-in-hand leading Rachel and Finn up to their penthouse.

As soon as the other two entered the door Rachel's mouth opened in shock and Finn let out a whistle. She quickly walked around to explore the place, "You know, when you two said apartment, I figured it was going to be tiny! Not a giant penthouse or anything along the lines of that!"

Kurt shrugged modestly, "We started out that way, but once I was discovered it turns out fashion designers make a KILLING. At least when you're a designer for fashion week, you do."

Finn threw his arm around his brother, "Well man, you did good."

Rachel and Finn unpacked their belongings and he threw himself on the bed, "I am seriously worn out. Have fun at the vegan place!"

She smiled, "Okay! See you later." Rachel thought about asking him if he was sure he didn't want to go, but it was probably best she had some alone time with Kurt and Blaine anyway.

Walking into the living room alone, Blaine frowned, "Is Finn not coming?"

Rachel shook her head, "No, he's tired from the plane ride, so it's just the three of us."

Kurt, realizing he needed to brighten the mood, trapped Rachel in another hug, "He probably wouldn't enjoy us gushing about anything not sports related anyway!"

All three laughed and headed towards the restaurant Blaine wouldn't stop talking about.

After their waiter came to take their orders, Kurt looked at Rachel intensely, "So how's Lima?"

Rachel bit her lip trying to grant herself more time to answer. She wasn't sure whether or not to explain her regrets in staying. She shrugged, "It's okay. I'm kind of upset I didn't follow my dreams here though. I'm starting to think I should have."

Blaine looked at Rachel sympathetically, "Are things with Finn okay?"

She shook her head, quickly coming to Finn's defense, "Yeah we're fine. It's just I always wanted to be more than a housewife." Ignoring the obvious faces of sympathy headed her way, Rachel changed the subject quickly, "But how are you two? I'm dying to know _everything._"

Kurt looked at Blaine knowingly, letting his boyfriend answer the question. "Well you know how I told you I was so sure about that audition?" He paused for dramatic effect, "I got the part!"

Rachel let out a small shriek, followed by blushing due to the stares she got. "That's so amazing Blaine! You totally deserve it!"

She had to admit there was a pang of jealousy that she quickly ignored. Blaine and Kurt were both happily living their dreams in the city of their dreams. Her dreams were still just dreams, and she was in the very town she swore she'd get out of. Rachel was happy for Blaine though, just as he would be if she had landed a role.

He smiled sensing that Rachel, who was happy for him, was wishing she herself was starring in a musical, "You're always going to be my Maria, though."

Rachel looked down and smiled softly, "Thanks Blaine." She knew he shouldn't have to be trying to make her feel better. This was his moment, not hers.

The waiter came by giving the three their drinks and each thanked him. Rachel took a sip of hers, trying to give herself a moment to think about how to subtly change the subject, "So we're seeing Wicked tonight?"

Kurt nodded, "That we are! I wish we could go on your actual birthday, but seeing as how it's on a Monday this year there won't be a show that day.

She shrugged, "I'll just pretend it's my birthday. It'll feel like it since that's how I would spend my birthday when I was younger."

Both men smiled; they knew she missed New York a lot. Kurt smiled, "I haven't seen it yet, being so busy with fashion week and all, but I've heard the Fiyero is really cute."

Rachel laughed, "You seem to be forgetting I'm married."

He rolled his eyes, "You're no fun."

Blaine began laughing at the two's exchange. He turned to Kurt, "Hey you know you're taken too."

Kurt waved the two off, "You kill my fun. I hope you two know that."

The rest of their lunch was spent talking about everything from Broadway to the past few years. Heading out of the restaurant, Kurt mentioned that he had to run by the office to pick something up. Although she was dying to go out and see more of the city she loved, Rachel went along with the two to get whatever it was Kurt needed.

As soon as she walked into the room Kurt had led them to, she was greeted by one of the most gorgeous dresses she had ever seen. "Is this is your new collection? Kurt it's amazing!"

Her friend turned to look at Blaine and they both smiled, "It's yours, I started designing it a while ago, but actually finished making it the day you told us you were going to come. I figured since you're in New York and turning 22, you should look hot doing it."

Rachel threw her arms around her best friend, "You really are wonderful Kurt. The dress is gorgeous and I can't wait to wear it."

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><p>Rachel, Blaine, Kurt, and Finn walked into the Gershwin Theater, each couple holding hands. Rachel, Blaine, and Kurt were all thrilled to be seeing Wicked, while Finn was there to be with his wife for her birthday. She noted the sweet gesture, even if he was continuously checking his phone.<p>

Taking their seats, Rachel leaned over to Kurt, "I still cannot believe I'm here again! If only we could sing on that stage together again."

Kurt nodded; remembering their time junior year when they had snuck in and sung For Good. In that moment he was sure Rachel would have gone on to great things, but instead she had stayed in Lima. He loved his step-brother but Kurt imagined Rachel doing so much more than what she was settling for.

Once the theater was dark and the orchestra began playing, Rachel leaned over to whisper to Finn, "You might want to turn your phone off. They don't really appreciate them here."

He smiled, whispering back, "No it's okay! I've got it really dark and it's on silent."

She sighed, but put on a smile. It was Wicked, and she certainly wasn't going to let anything get in her way of enjoying it.

The second Rachel turned away to see the Playbill and notice who was starring in the performance, she suddenly heard the one voice she wasn't expecting in a million years. She looked up quickly to see if it was true of if her mind was simply playing tricks on her. Lo and behold, there he was belting out Dancing Through Life.

It was one Jesse St. James. Her mouth opened in shock, and luckily Finn didn't notice since he was too engrossed with his phone. Kurt and Blaine however had nearly the same faces, only turned towards Rachel to see her reaction. She knew she should have expected to see him at least once here. New York City may be big, but neither Jesse nor Rachel would be anywhere but Broadway.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was captivated. Jesse was by far the best Fiyero she had ever seen; he hit all the notes perfectly, and played the part beautifully. Rachel even felt a pang of jealousy during As Long As You're Mine, even though she knew it was the most desperate thing she'd ever done. Besides, she was married now. Things were different.

But then why did she find herself clapping louder when he appeared on stage for his bow? And why did she feel sudden hope when she thought he was about to look at her, but turned instead? Rachel knew she had to see him. At least apologize for junior year and 'the kiss that missed'.

When people began filing out of the theater Rachel told the other three she was simply dying to get Elphaba's autograph and that she'd meet them at the apartment later. Blaine gave her a look of worry; he knew what she was really going to do, even if Rachel wasn't going to admit it.

After watching her husband and friends pile into a taxi, she quickly made her way to the stage door along with other fans. After waiting for a few minutes Rachel finally realized what she was doing. This was risky, and she knew it. Jesse probably hated her, and even though she was married to Finn she couldn't stand the idea of him still holding a grudge.

Rachel was about to turn around until she heard all the girls near her immediately start freaking out. That's when she knew he must be walking out. Unable to get out of the crowd, she turned towards the door and braced herself for what might happen. She even considered the thought that he might not see her. While Rachel wasn't in the very back, she certainly wasn't in the front. There was a good chance he would simply look over her.

But that would have made things simple. That would mean Rachel could go back to Lima without ever knowing what would have happened had she gotten the chance to just see him. Eventually, she knew she would've forgotten about it. This was Jesse though, and whenever the universe decided to throw him in her life, nothing was simple.

That's when he looked over and their eyes met. Immediately they were stuck in place; Jesse shocked to see the girl after so many years, Rachel surprised she was doing any of this. Thrown out of his daze by a few fans asking for autographs and pictures, Jesse quickly began signing things and soon grabbed Rachel's playbill even though she wasn't handing it to him.

She looked down at the word he had scribbled on the back of it.

'_Wait.'_

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you're liking it so far :) <strong>

**There are just so many fics where Rachel's the one who makes it while Jesse goes into pity mode because of what happened between them either with the egg incident or nationals. Personally though I think Jesse would have thrown himself into his work even harder after the mess, but maybe that's just my opinion. **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Needless to say, I was thrilled with the reaction to this story! I honestly didn't think it would be that popular but it already has 5 reviews which is so amazing! Thank you all for being the amazing people you are!**

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><p>Rachel made her way to the back of the crowd. She didn't find a point in being shoved around when Jesse had managed to speak to her, even if it was just one word.<p>

She watched quietly as he made his way around, taking pictures and signing playbills. Rachel had to admit the pang of jealousy seeing him live out the dreams they both had shared. Jesse had made it, while she was still just dreaming.

Rachel was taken out of her thoughts when Jesse had grabbed her hand and ran into a cab. "Sorry, I have to leave quickly unless I want to be there all night," he said with a laugh.

She laughed softly; Rachel could hardly believe she was sitting in a cab with Jesse St. James out of all people, especially while she was married to Finn.

Jesse scratched the back of his neck, "So uh I usually go to a bar near here after the show, would you want to accompany me?"

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, "I thought the cast would want to hang out after the show."

He shrugged, "That's really only on opening and closing night, or if it's someone's birthday.

She nodded, "Oh, well then I'd love to accompany you." As soon as the words left her lips, Rachel knew how bad the idea probably was. She was always different around Jesse, in a way the frightened her. There was always an attraction between the two, but this was just going to be a date between old friends.

Jesse smiled, "Great." He leaned up to tell the taxi driver the address. Leaning back into his seat he looked at Rachel, who was looking out the window. She was still as beautiful as ever, if not more. He was surprised after all these years in New York they had never run into each other. Even more so that he had never seen her name in any shows.

Rachel remained quiet throughout the ride in the car. She wasn't sure what to say and, quite frankly, was too nervous to without the help of a few drinks.

The bar they had arrived at wasn't anything too fancy, but it was still nice. It didn't seem that known, which was probably why Jesse had liked it.

Rachel followed him into the place and took the seat next to him at the bar. She reached into her purse to grab her wallet when Jesse stopped her, "Hey I invited you, I'm paying."

Rachel reluctantly agreed, thanking him after ordering herself a cosmo. Jesse ordered himself a beer before looking back at her with his eyebrow raised, "A cosmopolitan? Really?"

She rolled her eyes, "Just because I happen to enjoy a cocktail more than a beer, you have no right to make fun of me."

Both looked at each other and began laughing. It was clear that even with what had happened between them previously, they had missed each other.

He looked at her for a minute, taking in the fact that she was really in front of him, "Rachel Berry." Jesse paused before continuing, "It's great to see you again."

Rachel swallowed thickly, "Hudson, actually. Rachel Hudson."

He looked at her with a flash of pain before masking it with a fake smile, "Oh so you uh, you married Finn."

She took a sip of her drink before nodding, "Yeah I did…"

Jesse took a long sip of his beer before replying, "So is that why I haven't seen you around? I figured we'd be cast together at least once seeing as how our voices sound amazing together."

Rachel continued to sip her drink. This was the conversation she was dreading; "Yeah I stayed in Lima." She chose to ignore the second part of his statement.

He nodded slowly taking in what she was saying, "Well you look amazing." Even though Jesse wanted to ask her a million questions about why she chose to marry Hudson, he noticed she seemed uncomfortable on the subject.

Rachel felt a blush creep on her cheeks at his compliment, "oh um thanks. You do too." She nudged him with her elbow, "So how's New York been for you? Seeing as how you're in Wicked I'd say things are going well."

Jesse chuckled at her nudging him and shrugged, "Yeah… after Nationals I got a crappy apartment and began going to every audition possible. When I was finally cast in something off-Broadway, I got great reviews and people started to notice me. Now I live in a non-crappy apartment and have a pretty great role in a popular musical. New York's defiantly been good."

Rachel listened to him speak about New York with awe. For Jesse, it seemed life was going fast and wonderful, as opposed to hers that was at a standstill. She winced at the mention of Nationals.

"Look Jesse, I wanted to apologize for that; Nationals, I mean. You didn't deserve that at all and I felt awful about it, but I never had a chance to talk to you since there was never a good moment to visit your hotel room with the people in mine being awake all hours of the night."

Jesse waved her apology off, "Hey it was six years ago, I'm over it. Anyway, I should be thanking you since that's the reason I threw myself into auditions. I never would have gotten cast in something so soon had it not been for how hard I was working." He continued to drink his beer, hoping it would take away the memories of it. By now Jesse was over it, mostly. What hurt more was remembering the pain he felt when it happened.

Rachel felt even worse hearing him say he was over it. She hadn't been. Rachel had constantly found herself thinking about that night, even after all these years. _Did our relationship really not mean that much to him? _The thoughts she was having only made her feel guilty for being upset that he _was _over it.

After dropping the heavy topics they returned to meaningless chatter about the last couple of years. Before realizing it, the both of them had already had more than a few drinks.

Rachel was to a point of continuously giggling, "You know I missed you so much after I got back with Finn. Especially this—" she grabbed his face kissing him roughly. With the help of the alcohol they had consumed, neither of them realized exactly what was happening.

Jesse threw money on the counter and took Rachel's hand leading her out of the bar. As soon as they were on the sidewalk their lips were immediately reconnected. He slid his tongue across her bottom lip practically begging for entrance, which she happily complied, parting her lips. Rachel's hands ran through Jesse's curls as he grabbed her hips trying to pull her closer than she already was.

Pulling apart for the sole purpose of breathing they leaned their foreheads against each other. Jesse smiled breathing heavily, "My apartment's really close to here."

Rachel nodded keeping her hand connected to his as he flagged down a taxi. After Jesse quickly muttering the address of his apartment to the driver, they had immediately picked up from where they left off.

Breaking the connection their lips had, Jesse began trailing kisses down her neck, nipping and sucking at all the places he knew drove her crazy. He smirked hearing a moan escape her lips. By the times his hands were trailing her breasts he heard a voice yelling at the both of them.

"HEY BUDDY I GOT PLACES TO BE."

They immediately were on opposite sides in the backseat. Both were breathing heavily, not entirely sure what had just happened.

Rachel's hands were immediately on her forehead, "I'm married, Jesse. I'm married! I can't do this. I can't."

Jesse nodded slowly being taken out of his drunken and lust-filled haze. The cab driver yelling at them had clearly taken Rachel out of it faster than it had for him. "I…I understand Rachel." He paid the driver and handed her a twenty dollar bill, "here use this to get to Kurt and Blaine's."

Rachel sighed as she leaned back in her seat as she watched Jesse walk into his building. _What the hell have I just done? _

She never would have done any of that had it not been for the amount of alcohol she had consumed. Rachel groaned thinking of the hangover she would have in the morning. Not to mention she'd have to hide it from Kurt, Blaine, and Finn. They couldn't find out about tonight.

She quietly snuck into the apartment and made her way into the guest room she was sharing with Finn. He was asleep, which didn't come as much of a shock. Rachel breathed a sigh of relief before falling asleep, guilt ridden but exhausted.

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><p>Rachel woke up to the smell of coffee flowing through the apartment. It was later than normal for her but she rolled over to see Finn snoring softly. She kissed his forehead before walking into the living room where she knew she was about to receive intense questioning.<p>

"So when did you get in?"

Rachel gasped and turned around to see Kurt sitting at the kitchen counter while Blaine was in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Shit Kurt you scared me." She made her way over to him, sitting down on the stool next to his.

"And you're avoiding my question."

Rachel sighed, rubbing her forehead with her hand, "I don't know. Do you have Tylenol? I have to worst headache."

Blaine smiled sympathetically, "Yeah." He grabbed a bottle of Tylenol out of the cabinet and poured a glass of orange juice. Blaine handed both to her with a look trying to convey an apology for the questions she was receiving.

"Too much drinking last night?"

Rachel threw her arms up in surrender, "Fine. Yes. We went to a bar and talked about the last few years. I only wanted to apologize for Nationals because I know it must have hurt. I didn't know I had that many drinks, but I was actually having a nice conversation so I didn't notice. Nothing happened."

She spoke quietly, not wanting Finn to hear in case he had woken up. Kurt crossed his arms satisfied with her answer, and Rachel was thanking her lucky stars that he hadn't caught the lie. Most of what she had said was true, other than the fact that nothing happened. Something did happen, but no one could know except her and Jesse.

A smile grew on Kurt's face, "So what happened when you went to stand by the door? Sorry by the way for acting bitchy but that's the only way I could quickly get a straight answer."

Rachel smiled softly, "I almost walked away because I was so nervous, but right as I turned around I heard everyone screaming and then our eyes met." She sighed, thinking about last night again, "He grabbed my playbill and wrote wait on the back of it, so I did."

The other two people in the room listened intently to Rachel speak. Blaine could tell more had happened but he knew if Kurt didn't see it, it was something he'd need to talk to her about in private.

All three heard a stirring in the other room and immediately switched the topic to the show last night. Kurt and Rachel went into a debate about the emotions on stage and how they felt Elphaba nailed them perfectly.

Finn walked in slowly, not completely woken up yet,"hey Rachel! Where were you last night?"

Rachel smiled, "Oh I waited to get their signatures but it took too long so I decided to just walk around Times Square a bit."

She hated lying to him, but it was better to. It was only something that happened once and she figured it be better to simply forget than cause problems that wouldn't go away for a while.

Kurt and Blaine acted normally, seeing that it wasn't their place to decide if Rachel had the right to lie or not.

Finn nodded and went to sit on the couch, "So what are we doing today? You have a schedule worked out, don't you?"

She shrugged, "Actually I was going to watch Kurt's line on the runway today… Maybe you and Blaine could find something to do?"

Blaine smiled, "Already got that one planned. There's a game tonight, I figured you'd want to go."

Finn's expression brightened, "Dude you got us tickets to the game today? You rock!"

Rachel and Kurt smiled at each other realizing they had an entire day to catch up.

After getting dressed and fixing her makeup, Rachel said a silent prayer that she wouldn't run into Jesse again. _He's probably at rehearsal though, right? _That was the thought she held onto.

After saying a quick goodbye to Blaine and Finn, Rachel made her way over to Kurt's office with him. Noticing all the people around her she looked down at her dark skinny jeans and blue shirt, quickly feeling under dressed.

"Why didn't you tell me everyone here would look so good? I would've dressed nicer then this!"

Kurt laughed at her worrying, "Please Rach, you look fine. I wouldn't have let you leave the apartment if you didn't."

She huffed, "Well I at least would've put in a little more of an effort. But I can't wait to see your line tonight! Some of the designs you showed me were beautiful!"

He smiled, "You know you're getting most of them. I can't stand knowing you're wearing some of the clothes you do when you could be wearing beautiful designs by Kurt Hummel. Plus I'm sure Finn will be thanking me."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "like Finn pays attention to what I wear."

Kurt looked at his friend sympathetically, "Honey, what's going on with you two?"

She put a a smile on her face, "Nothing really. I'm just getting tired of living each day the same, especially in Lima. Not being in New York, I'm just realizing that I may have missed my true calling."

He smiled softly, "well maybe next time the two of you come visit, you could audition for a show or two, and if you get cast we'll know that New York really is the place for you."

Rachel nodded, "That's actually a really great idea. Okay, enough about me. How are things with you and Blaine?"

Kurt smiled brightly, "Blaine and I are perfect! We've been together six years and we still act like the first day we started dating." He sighed, "I only wish he'd pop the question, but that won't be happening until after West Side Story and my line."

She smiled, "I'm going to be your maid of honor, right?"

Kurt acted shocked at the question, "You even question that? I'm beginning to doubt our friendship."

Rachel laughed, "Okay, okay. I'm sorry!" She looked around, not sure where she was going, "So are we sitting in the front together or do you have to be in the back?"

He put his arm out for her to take, "We have front row seats so that you can gawk at my talent."

She smiled taking her friends arm, walking with him towards their seats. Rachel did actually find herself gawking at the clothing appearing on the runway in front of her. Kurt always had style at McKinley but his clothes were amazing.

Rachel leaned over to whisper to Kurt, "These are all stunning, Kurt. I knew you were talented but wow!"

He smiled at the compliment and whispered, "Now all we need is to get you in a show and we can dominate this city."

Both laughed quietly, enjoying the moment. It was like old times when they were both best friends and didn't have a worry in the world.

On their way back to the apartment, Rachel and Kurt skipped and sang show tunes loudly. It was nice out, and not as cold as it had been usually, so they took advantage of it. Inside the apartment the collapsed on the couch, laughing.

"Do you think Finn and Blaine had fun at the game?"

Kurt shrugged, "I'm sure they did even though I don't understand their love for football."

Rachel nodded in agreement. Sports never interested her.

Just then, the two people they had been discussing walked in the door. They were still discussing some of the catches made that apparently were very surprising.

She smiled, "You two have fun?"

Finn nodded putting his arm around Blaine, "This guy is the coolest person ever. Man, I cannot thank you enough for those tickets."

Blaine smiled, happy that he and Finn had become friends after the taller mans short lived hatred for him.

Kurt smiled, "well I'm glad the two of you enjoyed yourselves watching a barbaric sport."

Finn shrugged, "Hey man, you played it once."

He pointed at his step-brother, "We don't talk about that."

All four laughed at the memory. Finn made his way over to the couch and took a seat next to Rachel, "I'm starving, what's for dinner?"

Blaine saw this as the perfect opportunity to have his moment with Rachel he wanted. "Well there's this great Chinese place but it doesn't deliver. Rachel, do you mind getting it with me?"

Rachel smiled, "I'd love to! Okay wait… who wants what?"

After calling the Chinese place so they'd have the food ready when the two got there, Rachel and Blaine started on their walk to the restaurant.

Rachel looked at Blaine, "So what's up? Not that I don't love spending time with you, but I figured you'd want to go with Kurt."

Blaine sighed, "You know I would never judge you, right?"

She froze, _shit. _"How did you find out?"

He shrugged, "I guess I'm just good at reading people. I'm not going to tell Kurt or Finn or anyone, but I was just wondering what happened."

Rachel sighed, "We were just talking, but you know I get clingy when I'm drunk. I told him that I missed him when I was with Finn and then I just kissed him. He wasn't exactly sober either so we went outside and made out in the back of a taxi."

Blaine listened to Rachel, "Did you…?"

She shook her head quickly, "No, as soon as the taxi guy yelled at us to get out of the car when we got to Jesse's apartment I realized what was happening. He gave me money for the ride back to you and Kurt's and went inside without any further questions."

Blaine nodded, "Are you going to see him again before you leave?"

Rachel shrugged, "I don't know… I feel like I should apologize, I mean I initiated it and then freaked out because I'm married."

He looked at her sympathetically. Rachel was in a tough spot, and she couldn't tell anyone except for him. "Do you still have feelings for him, Rachel?"

She shook her head, "I'm married to Finn."

"That doesn't answer my question." Blaine pointed out.

Rachel sighed, "I don't know! It was just a drunk almost-hookup! That was all it would've been! I'm married for Christ's sake!"

He pulled her into a hug trying to calm her down, "Rachel its okay, calm down. I know you're confused."

She smiled, "Thanks Blaine."

They pulled away and continued down the sidewalk, approaching the Chinese restaurant. After getting the food and walking back in silence, halfway there Rachel spoke out of the blue.

"Am I a bad person for not telling Finn?"

Blaine shook his head, "It was a onetime thing, plus you were drunk. Telling him would only cause unnecessary problems between the two of you."

Rachel nodded; they were the same thoughts she had on the matter. That had to mean it ws the right decision, didn't it?

Their walk continued in silence as she tried processing recent events.

"Would you cover for me?"

Blaine looked at her confused, "What?"

"If I needed to see Jesse again, to apologize or at least figure out what exactly happened last night, would you cover for me? Tell Finn and Kurt that I wanted to watch rehearsals and the director said that's okay?"

He considered it for a minute, "Yes."

Rachel nodded, "Thank you Blaine. I hate to do this, but could we do that tomorrow? Tell the other two that I had asked on the way to pick up the food and you thought the idea was great?"

Blaine sighed; he wasn't one to lie, but Rachel needed him, "That's fine."

She thanked him and took out her cell to send a text to Jesse.

_We need to talk –R_

Rachel was surprised when her phone buzzed almost immediately.

_You still have my number –J_

She could practically see the smirk on his face.

_Shut it, St. James. And you're avoiding my first text. We need to talk –R_

_When? –J_

Rachel looked up to ask Blaine what time his rehearsals started, luckily they started earlier since he was just starting.

_Is 2 okay? What time do you have to be at the theater? –R_

_2 is great. I don't have to be at the theater until 6 –J_

_Central Park at 2? –R_

_Sounds perfect. –J_

She sighed and closed her phone. "Am I a terrible person?" Rachel wasn't sure if the question was directed at Blaine or herself.

He was quick to reply, "Rachel Berry you are not a terrible person at all."

Rachel was about to correct him about her last name when Blaine continued speaking.

"And don't you dare tell me Rachel Hudson, because let's face it; Berry sounds better."

She smiled; Blaine was the only one on her team right now, but the fact she wasn't alone just made everything better.

_Now if only he could be there with me tomorrow._


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: How many times can I say how wonderful you all are without you getting annoyed? I really do appreciate all the reviews and alerts etc, etc. btw I'm going out of town so this will be my last update for any of my stories until next weekend. Alright enjoy the chapter! :)**

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><p>Rachel wasn't sure why she dressed nicer than the previous days she was here. Well, maybe she did, but she certainly wasn't ready to admit the reason. She was a married woman. She certainly shouldn't be gallivanting off with other men in New York City. This was just a meeting between friends. <em>That's the same thing you said last night and look how that turned out, <em>she thought to herself.

After going through about twenty different outfits, she settled on black tights paired with a simple blue dress. It wasn't fancy by any means, but it didn't look like she'd just grabbed something out of her closet. Rachel took a quick look in the mirror before walking into the living room and leave with Blaine. She felt bad making him lie for her, but not enough to tell him he didn't have to. She had to see Jesse at least one more time before she left New York.

Walking into the living room, she noticed all three men sitting on the couch talking. Blaine looked up with a smile, "Hey Rachel, you ready to go?"

Rachel smiled with a nod, "Yeah! I'll see you two later… have fun with your brotherly bonding!"

Kurt shot her a look, and Finn just smiled contently. As much as he loved his brother, Kurt wasn't sure what they'd do all day, and Rachel knew that he was slightly dreading it.

Leaving the apartment Rachel turned to Blaine, "Thank you again. I'm sorry you have to lie but I… I have to do this."

Blaine nodded, "I understand. Don't forget we're meeting at that place we went to the first day at 5:30, so that we can walk into the apartment together."

She smiled, "You thought of everything, didn't you?" Giving him a quick hug, she made her way to Central Park.

Checking her phone, Rachel noticed she was a few minutes early so she went to stand by the fountain. As much as she hated clichés, Rachel decided to act out one by taking out a penny and throwing it in the fountain.

"What'd you wish for?"

She let out a gasp, turning around to see it was Jesse who had spoken to her.

"Don't do that! Does everyone just like scaring me?"

He laughed, "I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?"

Rachel shrugged, "Maybe this once."

Taking a seat on a nearby bench, Jesse let out a sigh, "So what did you want to talk about?" It wasn't like he didn't already know the answer to that, but he really didn't want to think about it.

She sat down next to him awkwardly, "I wanted to talk about last night." It wasn't a topic she wanted to visit, but it had to be discussed. Rachel required closure for things, especially this.

He groaned hearing her answer, "Rach, we really don't have to talk about it."

Rachel stood her ground, "Yes we do. I wanted to apologize about it."

Jesse looked her in the eyes, "Why?"

She was dumbstruck at the question, "Because I practically threw myself at you while I'm a married woman."

He continued to look at her, confused as to why she didn't understand him, "_While you're a married woman. _Rachel here's my question: if you weren't married, and the exact same thing happened last night, would you still be sorry? Or are you only sorry you're having to lie to Hudson?"

Rachel found herself speechless, which was a rare occasion. Thinking about it, she didn't regret what they had done, only that she had done it whilst married. She shouldn't be apologizing to Jesse; she should be apologizing to Finn. _But then why am I here with the one that shouldn't be getting the apology? _

Noticing how lost in her own thoughts she was, Jesse smirked, "Your silence is enough of an answer for me."

As he slowly got up to walk away, Rachel grabbed his sleeve, "Wait."

It was the same thing he asked her the first day they had reconnected; he felt compelled to listen to her as she did him.

He sighed and sat back down, "Rachel, you're married. I know you, and you aren't going to leave Hudson because we _almost _hooked up. And I know you aren't really a cheater, because you'd feel too bad."

Rachel nodded slowly, keeping her hand on his sleeve so he wouldn't try to leave again. "You're right Jesse; I'm not leaving Finn soon. I'm also not a cheater, except one particular even in high school." She looked up at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye neither of them had seen before, "but what if I wanted to be?"

It was Jesse's turn to be speechless. This was a completely different Rachel than the one he knew. Nothing about her had changed except for this new risk-taking. "A-are you sure, Rachel?"

To answer his question, Rachel crashed her lips into Jesse's. This kiss was filled with less lust, but defiantly showed a wanting. _She _wanted _him. _He wasn't pining after her while she was pining after Finn, this was completely the opposite.

After pulling away, both of them smiled while Jesse was still in a daze.

"Does that answer your question?" Rachel said with an obvious smirk on her face.

He raised his eyebrow, "When did you turn into me?"

She laughed, "When I realized how much I missed you and this city."

"Wait, are you staying in New York?" Jesse hid the excitement in his voice. Long distance relationships were hard, but having one while one of the people happened to be married? That'd be even harder.

Rachel shook her head, "Unfortunately no. I will be visiting soon, though. I promised Kurt next time I come I'll audition and if I get cast, I'll stay. If I don't," she shrugged, "I guess I'll stay in Lima."

"You will get cast," Jesse pointed out.

She looked down at her feet, "You don't know that."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body close to his, "Actually I do, because I happen to remember telling you that you being on a stage is an inevitability."

Rachel smiled; she was instantly taken back to all the good moments in high school they shared. When things would go wrong and he'd be the only friend she had, or the only one to comfort her. Somehow Jesse always managed to say the right thing.

She looked up at him, kissing him softly. It was their first real kiss as a couple again, even if their relationship was a secret. They sat quietly; Rachel nestled into his arms while he stroked her hair gently.

Even though he didn't want to ruin the moment, Jesse's curiosity was getting the best of him, "So how did you manage to get out of that apartment on your own?"

She shrugged, "Blaine figured out something had happened even though I never said anything. Luckily, Kurt didn't catch it. He's covering for me, although I'm sure I could just use the excuse that I wanted to explore on my own."

He nodded, "So did he know you were going to propose we begin having secret rendezvous?"

Rachel shook her head, "I didn't even know until that moment I kissed you again. That moment made me realize it was the right thing for me."

Jesse kissed the top of her head, "You know I'm not going to hurt you again Rachel."

She smiled, "Hey, you've already apologized for that and it's long forgotten. If anyone should be assuring the other it's me."

He returned her smile, "Then why don't we both agree we aren't going to hurt each other this time around?"

Rachel giggled, "Deal."

They slowly went back into quietness, taking in the surroundings of the city. It was mostly Rachel whose attention was directed towards the buzz of New York, since Jesse's was more on the fact that the only girl he had ever fallen in love with was back in his arms.

Rachel shifted as thoughts of what would happen on Monday appeared in her head, "What are we going to do when I go back to Lima?"

Jesse held on to her tighter, as if that would keep her from having to leave. "Well you have a husband that is gone during the day time, and a boyfriend that happens to be free during the day time. Do you still have a Skype?"

She nodded but fixated on one certain point in his statement, "You said boyfriend."

He raised his eyebrow, "Was I not supposed to?"

Rachel smiled, shaking her head, "That's exactly what you were supposed to do."

There was little talk about Monday, but a lot of discussion about tomorrow. Rachel decided she would say that she had to explore the city a little on her own, and maybe use Blaine as an excuse one more time. Jesse, not having a girlfriend other than Rachel, had his days open until 6, when he needed to be at the theater. Their plan seemed bulletproof, especially towards someone as oblivious as Finn Hudson.

Rachel checked her phone and reluctantly told Jesse she had to go meet Blaine so they could walk back home together. They had shared one final kiss goodbye before she made her way to the restaurant. Rachel took out her phone as she waited for Blaine to arrive. They hadn't even been away that long, but she wanted to text him just because she could.

_Break a leg tonight. I'm glad we talked –R _

_Thank you and I'm glad we did too. See you tomorrow? –J _

_I wouldn't miss it for all the tony's in the world –R _

_Actually that's an exaggeration… I want a tony –R _

_Well you'll have to move here first ;) –J _

_Hey one step at a time –R _

Rachel was too into her phone to notice Blaine walk up to her.

"You're texting him," he pointed out. There wasn't any tone of judgment in his voice; it was rather neutral, actually.

She nodded slowly, "I am."

"So you're seeing him now, I'm guessing?"

Rachel sighed, "He makes me happy, Blaine. Unbelievably so."

Blaine sighed, "Although I do believe cheating is wrong,"

She opened her mouth to protest, but he stuck his finger up asking her to let him finish.

"But I don't know your situation with Finn or Jesse. Obviously, I can tell you really like him because you aren't one to cheat. Due to these reasons, I will not judge you and I will be your cover story if needed."

Rachel threw her arms around her friend, "oh Blaine thank you so much! It really means a lot!"

She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve a friend like Blaine, but she must have done something right in High School.

Blaine nodded with a slight smile. He hated lying, especially to Kurt, but Rachel needed a friend and that's what he would be.

On the way back to the apartment, the two discussed what had happened at rehearsals so their stories would match up perfectly.

Rachel sighed before opening the door, _Showtime, _she thought to herself.

She walked in to see Kurt and Finn talking, although she didn't quite hear what they were saying.

Kurt brightened at the sight of his friend and boyfriend, "Rachel! Blaine! How were rehearsals?"

Rachel looked back at Blaine, smiling; "They were awesome! I'm not surprised Blaine landed the role at all."

Blaine smiled sheepishly at the compliment, "They actually did go great. I can't wait till opening night, but we've still got a while until then."

Finn smiled, "Dude! We have to come up and see you when it starts."

Rachel brightened, surprised Finn had suggested that. It was weird for him, not that she was complaining.

Kurt shot her a look, "Well maybe when you do we'll get Rachel in her own show."

She looked down, not having told Finn of their plans yet.

Finn looked around confusingly, "Wait what?"

Rachel spoke quietly, "Well Kurt suggested that next time we come up, I audition for a few shows just to see if I have what it takes."

He looked at her, slightly hurt she hadn't told him yet, "But what would we do if you got cast? I can't leave the shop."

She shrugged, "Long distance relationships work, Finn."

Finn shook his head, "But we're married, Rach! We shouldn't _have _to be long distance."

Realizing he said something he shouldn't have, Kurt quickly cut in; "Hey we don't even know she'll get cast," he winked at Rachel to convey he was only saying that to calm Finn down, "we'll take it one step at a time."

Finn nodded, "Okay, okay. We're only here for... Two more days? Let's just enjoy it."

Rachel felt sadder when he said they'd be leaving soon than when he was getting upset. They were leaving Monday night, and it was Saturday. She only had one day left with the man she had just gotten with. Rachel knew she'd have to find a way to spend the day with him tomorrow.

She smiled, "Well then why don't we all go enjoy the city by going to dinner somewhere? It's Saturday night in New York City, we have to do _something_."

After much talk about where they would go for dinner, the four ended up at some restaurant near their apartment. Rachel loved the fact that she could look out the window and see the hustle and bustle of the city, even though it was quiet in the restaurant.

Finn, who was finally beginning to understand why Rachel liked the city so much, smiled widely, "So what are we doing tomorrow?"

Kurt looked apologetic, "Tomorrow's going to be really important for the line so I won't be able to do anything."

Blaine shrugged, "I have rehearsals… Rachel you're welcome to come again."

Rachel smiled brightly, touched that Blaine would offer to cover for her again without her even asking, "Actually I was hoping to explore the city on my own. I haven't done it since I was a teenager, and I miss walking around the city with my own thoughts and such."

Finn looked around the table, pouting slightly, "So what am I supposed to do?"

The other three looked at each other trying to come up with something clever that he would enjoy.

He shrugged, "I'll just go see a movie or something."

Rachel hid her disgust that he would want to be in a dark room watching a movie just like he could be doing in Lima. Still, she felt bad he had nothing to do while the other three were busy, "We'll hang out all day Monday before we leave, I promise."

Content with what Rachel had said, Finn smiled, "Okay."

There was talk about how the trip was so far and of course questions about when they would be visiting again, which was answered with a 'maybe' from Finn and an eager 'I hope so' from Rachel.

The four continued to walk around the city a bit. They saw a man playing guitar in a small café and decided to see if he was any good. Not much to Rachel's surprise, he was very talented. They took a seat at one of the open tables, but as soon as he started the first notes to an acoustic cover of Candles, Kurt and Blaine were up and dancing along to the music.

Rachel laughed softly watching her friends slow dance; she really did wonder when Blaine would pop the question. It's not like they don't act like a married couple already, even more so than Finn and Rachel do.

Finn smiled at his step-brother and Blaine, "They really do love each other, don't they?"

She smiled, not looking away from the happy couple, "Yeah they do." _I wish we did. _Rachel caught herself thinking. It wasn't like she _didn't _love Finn, but if she really loved him would she be with Jesse? That was the question that went through her head almost constantly.

The married couple watched with envy at their friends' obvious love for each other. It practically radiated off of them. Not that Finn and Rachel didn't care for each other; they just didn't as much as Blaine and Kurt did. The closest Rachel had come to feeling what they did, was this morning when she was in Central Park with a man that wasn't her husband.

She wanted to call him, but he'd probably be performing. _He needs to know about tomorrow, though, _Rachel thought. It was more of an excuse, but she refused to admit that.

Breaking the silence, Rachel smiled, "I'll be right back, I have to use to restroom."

Finn returned her smile as she walked away. Standing near the door to the restroom, Rachel pulled out her phone.

_Since tomorrow's my last day I thought we could do something –R _

She stuck her phone back into her purse, knowing she wouldn't receive a reply until later; hopefully when Finn was asleep.

Making her way back to the table she noticed Kurt and Blaine had gotten back in their seats. She smiled brightly, "Did you two have fun dancing?"

Kurt and Blaine looked at each other lovingly before Kurt spoke, not even bothering to redirect his gaze from Blaine to Rachel, "We always do."

Rachel took her seat, smiling at the couple. Blaine turned to look at the two people sitting across from him, "Why didn't you two dance?"

Both suddenly mumbled out words as a form of explanation. All that was actually audible was Finn and Rachel both saying they had two left feet, even though for Rachel it was a lie.

She attended ballet classes, and was one of the best in her class. Two left feet? Not so much. Two left feet with Finn? Yes. Not that she didn't find his stumbling cute, but after dancing with someone else that was on her mind, the comparison didn't even seem fair.

Rachel opened her phone to check the time, "It's getting kind of late… should we start heading back to the apartment?"

The other three checked their own phones and agreed that it was time to head back. As soon as Rachel was completely ready for bed, Finn had dozed off. She laid down and reached to check her phone before sleeping. Not much to her surprise, there was a text from Jesse.

_You just can't get enough of me, can you? –J _

_You want to see me just as much as I want to see you –R _

_You might be right... guess we'll have to find out tomorrow –J _

_Where?-R _

_Rockefeller Center –J _

_Okay see you then :) -R _

After deleting the texts, Rachel settled into the covers drifting off to sleep thinking about the day to come.

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><p><strong>AN: Au revoir! Je vous aime <strong>**tous****!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I really hope you all are enjoying the story so far! I know most of you just want Rachel to leave Finn already but for the sake of the fic we've got a little bit until that happens so bare with me, okay?**

**Anyway enjoy le chapter!**

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><p>Rachel quickly made her way to Rockefeller Center, hoping to meet up with Jesse soon to get out of the cold. It was December, meaning that she thought her legs might freeze off if she was outside any longer. Looking ahead, Rachel noticed the familiar man looking out at the ice skating rink. She quickly made her way over to him and as he turned around their eyes met making each other's expressions brighten considerably.<p>

Jesse's smile covered his whole face; he still had trouble believing they were seeing each other again, "You look beautiful."

Rachel looked down at her red overcoat and black tights, letting out a chuckle, "I'm not really dressed too fancily but thank you." It was a foreign feeling having a male comment on her appearance. Finn used to occasionally, but she guessed he just didn't find a point in even bothering anymore.

She quickly continued, not wanting to get lost in the thoughts of her husband, "so what are we doing? You never told me."

Jesse smiled and turned around, pointing at the rink below them, "That."

Rachel raised her eyebrows instantly, "oooh no, Jesse I will fall and break my talent. No way."

He smirked and took her hand leading her to the room where people rent the skates, "Relax. It's just like that time we all went roller-skating. It's the same thing except you have blades instead of wheels and ice instead of wood."

She eyed him cautiously before sighing, "If I fall and end up never being able to sing or dance again I'm blaming you. I hope you can live with that on your conscience."

Jesse laughed, "I think I'll find a way."

Rachel put on the skates and was surprised at how much easier walking was than she thought it would be. Slowly making her was onto the ice, she kept her hand attached to Jesse's so he could catch her if she fell.

The music took most of her mind of her fear of falling and Rachel soon found herself going faster. She wasn't as fast as Jesse could be going, if he wasn't too busy not wanting to let go of her, but she had found away to go faster than most people there.

As soon as she began thinking ice skating was easy, Rachel lost her footing but was immediately caught by Jesse. They skated over to the railing in front of the large golden statue so she could regain her balance.

"Thanks for catching me," Rachel said with a laugh.

Jesse beamed, "It's what I'm here for."

She leaned up to peck him on the lips and they both sat there watching the rest of the tourists. It was easy to tell who was actually from New York based on the person's skill level. A few people in the center were doing various spins and twirls, including one of the two men working at the rink. The same man skated over to help a few couples take pictures and stopped next to Rachel and Jesse, trying to make conversation.

"So are you two on your honeymoon?" He said gesturing to Rachel's ring.

Her mouth opened to deny it, but she after kissing Jesse she couldn't exactly say they were simply friends. Rachel was caught entirely off guard, but Jesse threw his arm around her shoulders, "Sure are. It's our favorite city, but this is our first time here as a married couple."

Rachel smiled to the man and nodded her head. She laughed softly, "But he's too nervous he'll lose his ring if he wears it around the city."

Jesse shrugged with a laugh, going along with what Rachel had said. The two of them being actors made the whole thing easier, but it also helped that they might as well have been married with the way Jesse felt towards her, and the growing feelings Rachel contained.

They spoke a little longer before the man had to jet off to help someone who had recently fallen.

Rachel looked up at Jesse speaking just above a whisper, "We should be more careful."

He smiled with a slight shrug, "Maybe a little bit, but this is a big city and as I recall everyone's doing something today."

"Actually I don't know what Finn's doing," she pointed out.

Jesse sighed, "Let's not talk about him, okay? We can go somewhere else that's more secluded if you wish."

Rachel smiled softly and nodded. Rockefeller Center was usually a place tourist's visit, and she wouldn't be shocked if Finn ended up here.

Going back to the skate rental place with their hands attached, Rachel looked at Jesse sympathetically, "I'm sorry we can't stay longer. You probably didn't plan anything else."

He scoffed, "You don't think I have another trick up my sleeve? Why Miss Berry I thought you knew me better than that."

She laughed and rolled her eyes, "Well then what are we doing?"

Jesse smiled, "We have dinner reservations at five and it's almost two. Care to see a matinee?"

Rachel brightened at the mention of seeing a musical, "I would love to! Which one?"

He shrugged, "Anyone you want to, but I did get us front row tickets for Evita."

She clapped her hands together, "oh that sounds wonderful! How did you get tickets so last minute though?"

Jesse gave her a knowing look, "Rach you're talking to Fiyero. You don't think I can pull a few strings?"

Rachel shrugged with a slight smile and continued to the theater with her boyfriend. The walk there was mostly her gawking at New York because she had missed it so much.

During the actual show, Rachel stared at the stage with wide eyes and a gentle smile. Jesse's gaze was more directed towards her and the love she still held for the stage. It was still shocking to him that she had remained in Lima. Rachel could have made it far and he knew it. Not surprisingly to him, it was Finn who had held her back. Even in high school Jesse could tell it would happen and especially when he had returned and she threw away Nationals. That was the moment he should have swept her off her feet and taken her to auditions rather than let her slip away with Hudson. Although had none of that happened, he might not be sitting next to her and have the opportunity to just hold her for even a minute.

As soon as the show was over they both quickly made their way backstage due to Jesse's connections in the theater. After meeting the cast, getting their signatures, and even performing a quick song with one of the leads, Rachel and Jesse were on their way to dinner.

Jesse refused to tell her what the restaurant was, and Rachel soon began freaking out when their cab stopped in front of an alley that didn't look too nice.

"Jesse what is this place?" Rachel linked her arm with his in an effort to protect herself even though there wasn't any danger, "I feel like I'm going to get mugged!"

He laughed, "Remember when I told you you're more of a drama queen than I am?"

Rachel nodded; not sure where he was going with the memory.

"Well it's still true," he said with a smirk.

She elbowed Jesse, laughing, "Oh you love my dramatic personality."

Jesse smiled, "I do."

Rachel froze slightly, not sure how to respond. She knew Jesse cared about her and she cared about him, but she didn't want to fall for him while she was still married to someone else. It wasn't right, and a part of her knew that. Her marriage with Finn wasn't exactly as great as she hoped it to be. _That meant_ _part of it was justified, right? _Rachel shook the thoughts away as they made their way in the small restaurant.

She looked around the place, "So what is this place called?"

Jesse smiled, "Freemans. It's not easy to find and I highly doubt anyone will see us that know who we are. Well except for the staff."

Just as he spoke the last words of his answer, a woman walked up to the two of them with menus, "Hey Jesse! We've got a table for you and your friend ready."

He smiled brightly at the girl, "Thanks Amanda."

The couple followed Amanda to their table seated in a small room across from an even smaller bar. The place was mostly quiet with the exception of a few tables and the clanking of various drinks being made by the bartenders. The decorations were a little quirky, but the place ultimately gave off a homey feeling.

Rachel took her jacket off and sat down, "How did you find this place?"

Jesse shrugged, "One of my friends told me about it. Not many people know about it, which is why I love it so much. I also happened to realize it's the perfect place for us."

She smiled softly, "It does seem perfect."

Their waiter walked up to the table, surprised at seeing Rachel. "Oh look Jesse finally brought a friend here." He winked at Rachel, "I was beginning to think he had no friends, other than most of us here."

Jesse glared at his friend, trying to hide his smile, "Mark this is Rachel, Rachel this is Mark."

Mark stuck out his hand to shake Rachel's, "Well Rachel it's nice to meet you. You must be something special if Jesse brought you here." He ran off to get the two water, leaving Rachel and Jesse time to talk.

"You've never brought anyone here before?"

Jesse shrugged, "I didn't want anyone finding out about this place and telling their friends who would then tell their friends. Besides, Mark was right; You're special enough for this place."

Rachel smiled, "Well I'm honored."

Mark walked up to the table, placing the waters on the table. "So what are you two gonna have?"

Both ordered salads, which came as a surprise to Rachel.

"Don't you eat meat?"

Jesse nodded, "Sometimes, but I figured you'd appreciate me not doing it on our first real date."

Rachel tried to hide her awe at him. She never expected Finn to give up meat for her, but it'd be nice if he ate it less around her. Usually he forgot she was vegan anyway. She was surprised that Jesse had remembered.

Rachel's smile widened, "This is our first _real_ date, isn't it?" She sighed, "I wish it didn't have to end so early."

Jesse spoke with a twinkle in his eye, "It doesn't have to."

Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, "What?"

"You could stay at my apartment and I can meet you when the show's over. This is our last chance to spend time together until you go back to Lima and I don't want to miss any of it." His eyes turned soft and pleading.

Rachel smiled with a sigh, "Okay hold on. I have to go call Finn and tell him."

She walked outside since there wasn't much room in the small restaurant. Rachel waited patiently as she listened to the ring on the other line.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey Finn! It's me, Rachel"_

"_Oh hey Rach, what's up?"_

"_I ran into one of dads old friends who I haven't of seen in forever and she offered to let me stay with her for the night, I was just telling you so you wouldn't freak out if I wasn't home tonight"_

"_Oh uh okay… I'll see you tomorrow then"_

"_Bye Finn!"_

"_Bye Rach."_

Rachel shook her head slightly; he made cheating way too easy. Not that she was complaining or frankly surprised, but it also worried her. Whenever things went well in movies, it usually meant something bad would soon follow. Taking on a more chipper mentality, Rachel seated herself back at the table, noticing the food was sitting on it.

"Looks like I'm staying at your place tonight."

Jesse smirked, "What'd you tell him? Obviously it wasn't that you're staying with me."

Rachel shrugged, "I said I was staying with one of dad's old friends, which he liked you so you technically are… except Finn thinks that friend is a she."

He chuckled at her excuse she had used. She probably could have said anything and Finn would have believed her. The guy was pretty gullible, if Jesse remembered correctly. He didn't remember much about New Directions except for Rachel. She was the only memory he held onto, even though it was the one that hurt the most. He still regretted the egging, and as much as he wanted to apologize for it every moment, he didn't want to ruin their first true date as adults. This time things were different and Jesse was determined not to let them screw up. She deserved epic romance and he was the only one that could give it to her.

The rest of dinner was filled with pointless banter and random conversations about musicals. Rachel began realizing again why she loved being with Jesse. They understood each other and shared the same interests; conversations or anytime they were together never felt awkward or uncomfortable. She couldn't help but compare every moment to those she had spent with her husband. They differed greatly and she was liking these moments more than the ones with Finn.

They walked into Jesse's apartment that much resembled Kurt and Blaine's. Rachel found herself gawking at it, which brought a laugh out of Jesse.

"So you like the place?"

She continued looking around, "Jesse I love it!" Rachel out onto a small balcony and took in the view of the city. It was beautiful and even brought a tear to her eye that she quickly wiped away.

Jesse caught it though and looked her in the eyes, "What's wrong?"

Rachel laughed softly, "Nothing. It's just, I really missed this place." There was a slight moment of silence that passed until she began speaking again, "…and you." She bit her lip in an effort to keep more tears from flowing. The method seemed to be working for her so far.

Jesse responded by wrapping his arms around her and kissing her lightly on the forehead, "Hey it's okay. You'll be here again soon and I'm not going anywhere."

Rachel looked up at him with a smile, "Actually you need to be getting to the Gershwin."

He sighed, "But I happen to have this beautiful girl standing on my balcony. Can't I call in sick?"

She acted shocked at his question, "And let down Broadway and a show as phenomenal as Wicked? I don't think so." Rachel smiled, "Besides I'll be right here when you get back."

Jesse returned her smile even though going to the theater was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He pecked her lips quickly before assuring her he'd be right over as soon as he took his bow.

Now that Jesse was gone, Rachel had to figure out what to do with herself for a few hours. After searching through his movies she settled on RENT and sat down on the couch, singing along to every song. As soon as it ended she figured she still had a little bit of time before Jesse arrived.

Rachel quickly located his iPod in its dock and began playing it on shuffle. It was a mix between Coldplay, show tunes, Adele, and other various artists. She danced along to nearly all of them and skipped it quickly hearing Hello come on. That was _their _song; it brought on more memories than she wanted to remember.

Realizing she was still fairly gross from today, Rachel didn't think Jesse would care if she took a quick shower. She hoped in it and sang like always, finding the acoustics in his shower to be much better than the ones at home. Rachel climbed out and wrapped herself in a towel. She didn't want to put on the same clothes as earlier so she set out to locate a t-shirt she could steal from Jesse.

Once she settled onto the couch in one of Jesse's random shirts, a bra, and panties, the door opened.

"You're wearing my shirt," Jesse observed.

"And you're late," she replied calmly.

He raised his eyebrow, "I didn't know I had a curfew."

Rachel crossed her arms; she wasn't that angry but he had gotten home later than she thought and with her plane leaving soon she wanted to spend as much time with Jesse as possible, "You said you'd be right over after the show."

Jesse sighed, "I had a lot of fans tonight and I don't want to be known as the douche bag that ignores them all."

"Couldn't you tell them you had a girlfriend waiting, whose plane is leaving tomorrow?" She hated talking about her departure; it was the last thing either of them wanted to think about.

A smile formed on Jesse's face, "I would but that girlfriend and I are kind of a secret. People aren't really supposed to know." He walked over to sit next to her and kissed her softly.

Rachel smiled as she pulled away from the kiss, "That's not fair."

A smirk formed on his face as he began trailing kisses down her neck, "What's not fair?"

She closed her eyes feeling his lips on her neck line, "That. Especially when I'm trying to be upset with you."

Jesse looked at Rachel, the smirk still evident, "You can never stay upset with me."

She raised her eyebrows, "You don't know that."

He chuckled, "Oh I think I do." A smirk returned to his face, "You know I'm gonna need my shirt back."

Rachel returned his smirk, "Fine." She slipped off the shirt, handing it to Jesse. This came as a shock to him. She wasn't as insecure as she was in high school and _certainly _not as innocent, which was the last thing he expected.

Rachel laughed at him being stunned, "Please don't tell me you're gay."

Jesse chuckled, "defiantly not gay." He leaned forward and their lips met causing the both of them to soon be in a lust-filled haze that seemed to occur every time they came in close contact. Rachel bit his lower lip harder than she thought, but not enough to cut him. This elicited a groan from Jesse leaving her feeling smug. She slid her tongue over the same spot she had bitten moments before. Both their tongues began a duel that would have gone on forever had Jesse not broken the kiss. Before Rachel could protest, she felt his lips on her neck slowly making their way to her chest. Her breath shortened at the feeling and a moan escaped her lips feeling Jesse's hands now on her breasts.

Rachel spoke breathlessly, "Remind me why you're still fully clothed."

Jesse let out a chuckle before helping Rachel remove his shirt. She found herself staring at him for longer than she intended which caused a smirk to grow on his face, "Are you going to tell me you're a lesbian?" He said mirroring her words earlier.

Rachel shook her head, "Defiantly not." Their lips reconnected and danced in a way only theirs could. Any thoughts she had of her husband were fully disappeared. All that Rachel could think of, or even care about, was the half clothed gorgeous man currently on top of her. Caught up in the moment, Rachel reached for the buckle of Jesse's pants. Surprisingly she felt his hand on top of her own to stop her. Jesse sighed and Rachel looked at him questioningly.

Her tone wasn't one of anger, but more of annoyance, "What?"

He closed his eyes tightly before answering, "Rachel we can't."

Rachel crossed her arms and sat up, "and why not?"

Jesse sighed; it wasn't that he didn't want to, but sometimes he knew Rachel better than she did, "because you're going to feel terrible about it."

"I've already told you I want this. I want us, don't you?" She couldn't understand why Jesse had abruptly stopped them. She _told _him she wanted to be together, why was he against it all of the sudden?

He put his hands on her shoulders, which she shrugged away. Jesse settled on lifting her chin so he could look her in the eyes, "I do, Rachel. I really do, but you would feel terrible around Finn if we did. Don't even try to deny it because I know you. The guilt would kill you. I'm sorry Rach but not yet. We're both still new at this, let's give it some time?"

He didn't even want to bring up his worst fear –that she would feel guilty enough to leave him for Hudson. Right now, Jesse was the one spending his time with Rachel but she would feel guilty around Finn and what if she told him about the two? Hudson wouldn't let her out of his sights if he knew, let alone want her to return to New York. Her dreams of Broadway were more important that anything, even them getting to be together no matter how much Jesse wanted it.

Rachel looked away, "Then why did you want me to stay here tonight?"

Jesse smiled softly, "Because you're leaving way too soon and I want to spend every moment with you I can."

She pouted, "Then what are we supposed to do now?"

He chuckled and pulled her into a hug, "Well I happen to own more than a few Barbra Streisand movies and I also have an iPod if you would like to dance."

Rachel smiled, "Well both of those options sound lovely to me."

Jesse kissed the top of her forehead, "I'll put Funny Girl in."

She smiled and grabbed a blanket as Jesse got up to put the movie into the dvd player. Returning to the couch he put his arm around Rachel, and she nestled herself into his side. They both sang along quietly and by the credits Rachel had fallen asleep. Jesse gently picked her up and put her on one side of his bed while he settled onto the other. Needless to say, he still found the sight of her next to him astounding and unexpected but he was thankful for it. As much as Jesse had tried he never had gotten over her completely.

* * *

><p>Waking up slowly, Rachel was confused for a moment about where she was. It wasn't until she noticed Jesse's arms around her that she calmed down. He was still sleeping and looking absolutely adorable to her. Noticing the time, Rachel wondered if she should leave. She had promised the day to Finn and in a few hours it'd be halfway over. She <em>really <em>didn't want to leave the spot she was in though.

As Rachel debated quietly in her head she heard Jesse speak softly, obviously still waking up, "Someone's up early."

She rolled her eyes with a smile plastered on her face, "Jesse it's ten in the morning. I hardly call that early."

He smiled sadly, "It is when you have to go tonight."

Rachel's smile softened, "You know I can't stay away from this city or you for long. Besides, skype everyday, remember?" She kissed him quickly and sweetly before getting up to locate her own clothes. After putting on her outfit from yesterday, she threw Jesse's t-shirt back at him that she had put back on the night before, after their _moment._ "There, are you happy you have your shirt back?"

Jesse smirked, "You know it looked much better on you than it does on me."

Rachel laughed, "I don't doubt that, but I can't exactly wear it around my husband, now can I?"

He shrugged, "He wouldn't notice."

She snorted and went to look at herself in the mirror to see if she looked okay other than the fact she was wearing the same clothes as before, "Yeah and I hate Broadway. I know he's oblivious but do you want to get us caught?"

Jesse walked up behind herand put his arms around her waist, "I just want him to know you're mine, even though no one can. Except for Blaine, and the guy that thinks we're on our honeymoon."

Rachel smiled, "Don't forget everyone at that restaurant."

He laughed, "They're probably thrilled to know I finally have a girlfriend."

She raised her eyebrow, "You _never _had a girlfriend?"

Jesse shook his head, "Not one special enough to take there."

Rachel turned around to peck his lips followed by a sigh, "I don't want to go."

He groaned at the mention of her leaving, "Then don't."

She rolled her eyes, "You know I have to."

Jesse nodded but pulled Rachel back for one last long, tender, and loving kiss. If it was their last one for a while he wanted to make it special.

Rachel felt her eyes get misty and knew she needed to leave so he wouldn't see her cry, "I'm going to miss you Jesse."

He smiled softly, "I'll miss you too Rachel."

With that, the small brunette was out the door leaving Jesse alone for God only knows how long. He hoped it would be short, but everything in his life was going so well there had to be a problem in the works.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There was originally gonna be like actual sex (sorry to the people I told that to *oops*) but then I thought that was better (for the story) so yet again I'm asking that you all just go with me here. <strong>

**Also when the time comes that Rachel divorces Finn (this should not be a spoiler. You should already assume if I'm writing it, Finchel will never last) I was going to be all tech-savvy and make a poll to see how yall want it to go down (calm, angsty, etc.) So when I set that up I'd love for you all to go vote so I can hurry and write it while I have both ways already planned (especially what comes right after ~spoilers~).**

**Oh and for the record I actually ate at Freemans last weekend and if you're in the New York area you should really go because it is amazing!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I hope all of you enjoyed St. Berry week as much as I did :)  
>I honestly don't have much to say (shocker right?) other than I hope you enjoy the chapter!<strong>

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><p>Rachel sat on the plane quietly, her lips pursed so no one would catch on as to how sad she truly was. Everyone knew she'd be upset about having to leave New York, but no one except Blaine knew why she was trying hard <em>not <em>to look too upset.

Finn sat next to her snoring softly, and Rachel pulled out her phone and stared at it, wishing she could call Jesse. All she wanted to do was hear his voice or see him, just one more time. Rachel sighed and looked out the window before closing her eyes gently, hoping to fall asleep and get her mind off the man she was leaving in New York.

Upon arriving at the airport in Lima, Rachel remained silent and Finn didn't question it. He figured she missed the New York and didn't want to fight again over her hopes of auditioning next time they went to the city.

After throwing their luggage on the floor in the living room, Finn scratched the back of his neck, "Hey I gotta run by the shop and see if the guys are okay."

Rachel frowned, "You're going back to work now? It's almost eight!"

He shrugged, "I have to, Rachel. One of us has to work."

She winced at his statement; Finn wasn't intending to hurt her but that's what the comment accomplished. She smiled sadly, "Okay well get home soon."

Finn smiled, "I'll try." He leaned in to kiss Rachel, who turned to go into the kitchen instead. He shrugged and left the house going to the shop.

Rachel considered getting out her laptop to see if Jesse was on Skype, but he was probably on stage at the moment. She could always call Kurt and Blaine but the day had already gone awkward enough. Rachel sat down, remembering the experience.

* * *

><p>"It's our last day here, what do you want to do? There are plenty of more plays to see, but if you don't want to do that there's also museums, shopping, anything!"<p>

Finn shrugged, "What do you want to do? You know this city better than I do."

Rachel thought about things they could do that would be fun for both of them, "Maybe we could just take a walk around…"

Finn smiled, "Works for me."

As they walked around the city, she spoke quietly, "Have you thought about me auditioning yet? I know you weren't thrilled about it, but it is my dream."

He sighed, "Rachel we can't just pack up and move to New York. I have a life back in Lima."

"But I don't!" She cried.

Hurt flashed across Finn's face, "What about us? Am I not enough?"

Rachel shook her head, "I didn't mean it like that!" She sighed, exasperated, "Broadway is my life and in Lima I don't have it! I miss it, Finn. I _need _it."

The hurt had passed out of Finn's face but it remained in his eyes, "What about me? Don't you need me too?"

She looked down at her feet, "My entire life can't be you, Finn."

He looked around where they had ended up after walking for a while. His tone was soft and quiet, "This is where I took you last time we in New York together."

She looked around, taking in the familiar surroundings, "Are the guys about to jump out and start playing Bella Note again?" Rachel joked, hoping Finn wouldn't notice her mood change to a more melancholy state at the mention of Nationals. It reminded her of _him._ The same person she wouldn't be seeing for at least a month. The thought killed her.

Finn laughed softly before turning serious again, "Look Rachel I don't want to fight about this. Anyway we're acting like you'll for sure get cast, but we don't know that."

Rachel spoke quietly, "but it's an inevitability."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "What?"

She shook her head, "Nothing."

The rest of their time had been Finn talking and Rachel occasionally responding with a nod or yes. Her thoughts were elsewhere and frankly she wasn't in the mood to talk to someone who was against her making it on Broadway.

Even when Kurt and Blaine joined them, things continued to be awkward. Kurt and Blaine had caught on that she was obviously upset, but since Finn hadn't the whole time was full of fake smiles and laughs.

* * *

><p>Her phone beeped, bringing Rachel out of her thoughts about how her day had gone. She smiled immediately seeing the name shining brightly on her phone.<p>

_I miss you already –J _

Rachel let out a squeal before replying.

_I miss you too :( shouldn't you be on stage? –R _

_Nah they're just now doing What is this Feeling so I have a minute –J _

_Don't miss your cue! –R _

_Do you honestly think Jesse St. James would miss his cue? So when are you coming back? –J _

_I just left today! –R_

_So? –J _

Rachel sighed at his response. She wanted to go back now, but she had just gotten back to Lima. Finn wasn't exactly thrilled about when they would return either.

_We'll see each other soon. I promise –R _

_Skype later? –J _

_If Finn isn't home –R _

_Right. Him. Oh shit I'm about to miss my cue, I'll talk to you later Rachel. Miss you –J _

_Haha I told you not to do that! Miss you too. –R _

She stared at the phone for a while wishing he didn't have to be on a stage at the moment. Rachel changed into one of her old t-shirts and shorts deciding to go to bed early. Finn would be back eventually but she figured it wouldn't matter if she was asleep or not.

* * *

><p>After a few days Rachel and Jesse had formulated a plan. Finn would usually leave for the shop around noon, so at one her and Jesse would skype for however long they had. The only rule was that they had to be off by four thirty since Finn occasionally would come home as early as five.<p>

Today was no different, except for what had happened after dinner. Finn and Rachel had been watching some new movie with Daniel Radcliffe, when she decided to go into the kitchen to make popcorn. Her phone had buzzed and since it was still on the couch, Finn checked to tell her she had gotten a text. The name on the screen worried him immediately.

"Uh Rachel, who's Jesse?"

She froze, which luckily Finn didn't see since he was in the another room, "oh she's one of the girls in West Side Story. We bonded when I went to Blaine's rehearsal."

Finn furrowed his eyebrows, "but I thought the girl form of Jesse had an 'i' in it."

Rachel walked into the living room holding the bowl of popcorn and shrugged, "Her mom was one of those weird people that hate gender roles or something. She insisted women didn't _have _to spell it differently."

She was thankful for the improv classes her fathers had gotten her as a Hanukkah present one year. Now was a time they came in handy.

Finn nodded at her answer, "Who's Elphaba?"

It was now Rachel's turn to look confused, "As in the character from Wicked?"

He shrugged, "I guess. Jesse said I wish you were playing Elphaba right now."

She smiled, "oh well she just knows how much I want to be on Broadway."

Finn closed Rachel's phone and placed it on the table beside them, "Oh uh okay."

Rachel let out a silent sigh of relief; although lately she hadn't been nervous about him figuring out what was going on while he was at work, she often found herself paranoid that he would.

While Finn was watching the movie Rachel grabbed her phone and quickly deleted all the texts between her and Jesse. In case he did decide to go looking in her phone, she'd be safe.

After he had gone to sleep, Rachel told him she'd be asleep soon but something was coming on she had wanted to watch on TV. After hearing Finn begin snoring, she quickly dialed the number she knew by heart.

"_Hey I was just thinking about you."_

"_Jesse you can't text me randomly! That's not part of the plan!" _She spoke in a hushed tone, nervous about Finn waking up even though he was one of the heaviest sleepers she knew.

"_But I had just gotten done with As Long As Your Mine and I couldn't stop thinking about you the whole time." _

"_But Finn saw it!"_

She could hear Jesse try to contain his laughter.

"_Obviously he believed whatever lie you told him or else you wouldn't be talking so quietly. So what'd he say?"_

"_He asked who Jesse was and I told him you were one of the girls in West Side Story that I met at Blaine's rehearsal." _

"_Do I always have to be a girl?"_

"_Do you even have to ask?"_

This time Jesse did let out a laugh.

"_Okay okay you have a point. I promise I will stick to our plan even though I want Hudson to know that you're mine."_

"_And he will eventually, but not now."_

"_Wait really?"_

Rachel stopped; they hadn't talked about where this was going before. Would she really leave Finn for Jesse? That's practically what she was doing now, except no one knew. Rachel hadn't given much thought to the future; she was too worried about getting caught in the present.

"_Jesse I have to go, Finn's waking up."_

It was a lie, and the both of them knew it. Jesse tried to protest but there was a click and Rachel threw her phone at the couch. She hadn't even begun to think about what would happen eventually. They couldn't sneak around forever; Jesse deserved better than that, and she couldn't let Finn stay in a marriage that would be more like two friends rather than lovers.

Rachel took the battery out of her phone and went to sleep, not wanting to have to deal with the oncoming future. Everything had just started; she didn't want to already have to deal with the things that wouldn't be happening for a while.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: That was way shorter than I would have liked but I have the whole next chapter planned out so that will be much longer and much better than this sorry thing. <strong>

**R&R (please) and know that I love you all!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: sigh I need Jesse St. James back now. He is the last hope Glee has left.**

* * *

><p>Jesse walked into the theater pissed that he had been called in early. He had been skyping with Rachel when of course his phone rings and it's their director asking him to come by so they could discuss something important. He had absolutely no idea what could be so important other than the fact that their run was ending soon. There was also the fact that the Grammy's were coming up in February and Wicked had been nominated for best cast album since they had redone it with this new cast.<p>

After January the cast would depart ways except for the few that stayed with the show to tour across America. The director had decided it was time for Wicked to take a break in NYC, and just travel. Most of the leads had already decided at the end of this run they'd move on to other shows. Their home was New York, and even though they loved Wicked they couldn't leave the city.

Jesse and Samantha, who played Elphaba, were motioned over by Scott, their director, to speak with privately.

"Why did we have to come in again?" Jesse tried to mask the annoyance in his voice, but he was failing miserably.

Scott sighed, "Because I need to talk to the two of you about something I've talked about with the producers and a few others…"

Samantha placed her hands on her hips, obviously peeved over having to come in early also, "Well what would that be?"

Their director placed his hands on his hips mirroring Samantha, "Well as you two know the show is soon coming to an end here in New York. Due to this we want to make sure every show until then is completely sold out and that people will want to see it when it rolls around their town. That being said, we need to get people _not _interested in musicals to be interested in Wicked."

Jesse furrowed his eyebrows, "Okay that's great and all but what do you have to do with that?"

Scott sighed, "This is America. The only way to get into newspapers and magazines is with a few good rumors. Jesse and Samantha, you two are about to be Broadway's new lovebirds."

Both actors looked at each other before turning back to the tall and somewhat awkward man before them. Jesse was the first to speak, "In case you didn't realize, I have a girlfriend."

He shrugged, "America doesn't know that. Besides, you two don't actually have to date at all, just go to dinner a few times and walk around town together, you can even just insist you're friends. We're gonna get someone to leak to the presses though that they think you two are dating." Scott laughed at his own idea that he found brilliant, "With our luck everyone will be interested with Wicked and the tour will be a success."

Samantha looked at him like he was the most idiot man on earth, "But we're not even going to tour."

"Yes, but after hearing about you two people will begin to look up Wicked. They'll start listening to it and realize that it's a great show."

Jesse shook his head, "That is twisted and convoluted and I don't want to cheat on my girlfriend so you can make more money."

"Ah but first of all you aren't really cheating and second of all it's in your contract," Scott pointed out.

Jesse and Samantha exchanged one last look before sighing almost in unison, "Fine."

The older man clapped his hands together, "great!" He then walked away to tell the rest of the producers and such that their plan was about to begin.

Samantha looked at Jesse sympathetically, "I'm really sorry about this. I don't really want to do it either. Should you give Rachel a call about it?"

He shrugged off her apology, "It's not your fault. I'll call Rachel and tell her later but she's probably busy right now."

Jesse hadn't told anyone that she was married, and he had managed not to let it slip so far. He made a mental note to tell her about what he was having to do with Samantha tomorrow when he knew Finn wouldn't be home.

Unfortunately, that moment never came. Apparently when Scott had said 'a few dinners' he meant 'every waking moment except when you're on stage'. The only thing Jesse had a moment to do was text Rachel to tell her that he was sorry he was so busy and wouldn't be able to skype for awhile.

It hadn't bothered her much, and she understood why; but she was missing him incredibly.

It did start to bother her a week or two later when she had gone into the grocery store. Rachel had been getting random groceries for the week when she froze seeing the cover of People.

**Broadway's hit musical **_**Wicked**_** stars Jesse St. James and Samantha Owens dating?**

She quickly collected herself and purchased the magazine so she could read the rest of the article no matter how much it would hurt.

Immediately reaching the house and putting all the food in the fridge quickly, Rachel threw herself on the couch and began reading.

"…_Jesse St. James seen having dinner with Samantha Owens, it seems their romance isn't just on stage… "_

"…_One witness says they were talking closely and quietly, looking very intimate…"_

"…_When asked for a comment from the show's director Scott Howell, we received a letter saying he didn't like to pry into the private lives of his actors but he wouldn't be surprised if there was a spark between the two…"_

"_Unfortunately, neither of the said love birds would comment on the matter at hand."_

"_Will this shake up Broadway's new scene and is their budding love going to last?"_

At the very bottom of the two-page spread was a note reminding people to look out for Wicked which would be touring soon.

What killed Rachel the most were the pictures that went along with all the statements. There was one at a posh restaurant that could defiantly be taken as intimate. In the very middle and front of the magazine were the two holding hands with Jesse leading her away from the rest of the press.

Her heart was in her stomach and all Rachel felt like doing was crying. She had to call him though and figure whatever this was out before Finn got home and realized something was wrong.

Rachel pulled out her phone and waited impatiently for Jesse to answer.

"_Hello?"_

"_Jesse… Are you… Are you cheating on me?" _Her voice choked up even saying the words out loud.

"_What? Rachel no! How could you think that?"_

"_Oh I don't know maybe the cover of People magazine?" _She didn't want to get angry, but now he was lying straight to her.

"_Rachel no that's a magazine! They make stuff up all the time!" _

"_I'd have hoped you'd at least be honest with me, Jesse."_

"_Rach do you honestly believe I would lie to you? Or cheat on you?"_

Rachel went silent; she never believed he could until she saw the pictures.

"_Well fine, then. It's good to know you think so highly of me. Oh and before you go just think about who's doing the cheating in this relationship."_

There was a click on the line and Rachel knew she had done it. She had ruined the last thing in her life that made her genuinely happy.

* * *

><p>Jesse was absolutely fuming when he had gotten off the phone with Rachel. He had meant to tell her everything, but she had suddenly accused him of cheating and she refused to even let him explain.<p>

It hurt mostly; the fact that she believed he would do that to her. They hadn't said it to each other but he honestly thought that maybe, she was in love with him again. He had certainly fallen in love with her. He never stopped, though. After senior year when he had fallen originally, he had never gotten back up.

The thought even crossed Jesse's mind to call Samantha and actually cheat on Rachel. Maybe it would help him forget about her.

He knew that was complete bullshit, though. All throughout his freshman year in college that's what he tried to do; sleep with women until he forgot all about her brown eyes and beautiful voice. The problem with that was that it never worked. Every morning he would wake up hoping to see the beautiful brunette smiling at him, when instead it was just some random girl he had most likely met the night before.

Jesse did call up one of his friends and end up going to a nearby bar, though. He intended to drink away every bit of anger that was now residing in him. It was a stupid idea, and he knew it; but he was far too pissed and hurt to care.

On their way to the bar, Jesse had explained everything to Brett, one of his close friends, quickly. Needless to say, after a while at the bar the he was successfully drunk or almost to that point.

Brett nudged Jesse to inform him of the blond that wouldn't stop staring at him. Jesse smiled and waved to the girl who took that as her cue to walk over there.

"Hey I'm Anne!" Her hair was blond and her tits were obviously fake. She was the complete opposite of the girl Jesse was trying so hard to forget.

"Jesse, at your service." He gave her smile although his words were slightly slurred due to the help of the alcohol he had been consuming.

"It's nice to meet you Jesse." She had gotten much closer to Jesse, who hardly realized it with most of his concern being on the beer in front of him. "I just moved here and my apartment is only a few blocks away, would you like to see it?" Her hand had moved to his knee which automatically broke Jesse out of his thoughts.

"Oh I'm sorry … uh Anne… but I have a girlfriend." His words were still slightly slurred but he was trying his best to get the message across.

"She doesn't have to know, now does she?"

Brett saw this as the perfect time to interrupt.

"Woah okay look at the time, Jesse you've got a show tomorrow and it's going to suck if you get no sleep and have a hangover." He smiled at the woman next to him, "Nice meeting you, really it was swell and all, but we gotta get going."

Brett lightly tugged Jesse to follow him and quickly called a cab, "Dude what the fuck were you doing? You can't cheat on Rachel!"

Jesse pointed at his friend, "Hey I was completely telling that woman I had a girlfriend but she wouldn't leave me alone!"

He laughed lightly and helped Jesse into the taxi that had pulled up, "Well I hope you two work it out, whatever it is that exactly happened. Have fun with that hangover tomorrow!"

* * *

><p>Rachel stared at herself in the mirror looking for any signs she had been crying. Most of them had disappeared thanks to amount of time she spend dabbing her face in the bathroom. She had refused to cry over Jesse again. That was something she had promised to stop junior year when she had chosen Finn at Nationals. Unfortunately, she wasn't keeping that promise.<p>

Rachel was going to prove she was completely happy without him. She had been somewhat before they had reconnected, and things could go back to normal. All she needed to do was have a long talk with Finn. Rachel wasn't going tell him about Jesse, though; she couldn't. That would kill whatever was left of their one-sided marriage.

She sat on the couch quietly as Finn walked in the house. He seemed confused at the odd behavior and sat down next to his wife.

Rachel spoke quietly and couldn't allow herself to look him in the eyes, "Would you ever cheat on me, Finn?"

It was a stupid question, really. In high school their relationship was one large trial of cheating, whether it was on each other or others. It was a touchy subject for the both of them but she needed to hear what he would say.

"What? Rachel no!" Finn's cheeks flushed at her question. The fact that she would even ask something like that angered him.

She responded by crashing her lips with his. It wasn't the most romantic moment, but Rachel wanted to see if there were any sparks.

Just as she had expected, there weren't. Rachel tried to force some sort of passion, but it had all left between the two the moment she'd gotten together with Jesse. Even then there wasn't much left.

As soon as she felt Finn's awkward hands fumble around with her shirt, she backed off. She had been comparing everything to her encounters with Jesse and she felt like she was cheating on him rather than the opposite way around.

Rachel pulled away and stood up, "I…I have to… shower…"

She left Finn sitting on the couch speechless and confused. Rachel needed an excuse to get out of there, though. She needed to figure out what was going on.

* * *

><p>Jesse stared at the magazine Rachel had called him about. He had to admit it looked incredibly believable, but she still didn't trust him enough to let him answer. She had automatically assumed that he had cheated on her.<p>

He stared at his phone for hours, wishing it would go off. It had been a week since he'd last talked to Rachel. A week since he'd heard her voice or laugh. A week since he'd seen her face. Jesse found it cruel he'd had her in his life only to lose her again.

But he was Jesse St. James, and Jesse St. James always had a plan. There was no guarantee it would work, but it was time Rachel knew exactly how he felt about her.

He sighed and called Scott about his plane ticket. The Grammy's were in a few days and after all the hype he and Samantha were getting he was asked to perform a song.

Jesse hadn't told anyone except Samantha what had happened. Needless to say it had pissed her off almost as much as Jesse. She felt partially responsible for what had happened, even though both of them knew it was Scott and the rest of the producers that had made it happen.

His trip on the plane was mostly consumed by thoughts of the next few days. Jesse had to meet with the rest of the cast, still act like he may be seeing Samantha, and last but not least attend the Grammy's.

After getting off the plane, he met with Samantha and forced a smile.

She sighed, "We don't have to do this anymore, Scott can get pissed all he wants but I know you miss Rachel."

Jesse shrugged, "I don't want you to get a bad name in the business because you refused to do some stupid press stunt. Besides, Rachel and I will work things out; I have a plan." He added with a wink before putting his hand out for her to take.

Samantha reluctantly took it and placed an exaggerated smile on her face, "Showtime."

They walked out of the airport with their hands together, although neither of their smiles reached their eyes. Everything was overly exaggerated and not a single thing was genuine; it actually surprised him that more people didn't realize that.

It felt weird being back in LA. The last time he was here had been freshman year of college, which didn't exactly go well. Jesse wished he could simply go back to the hotel, but unfortunately that wasn't as option.

He made his way to the place he was getting fitted for a tux, even though Jesse insisted the one he already owned was fine. Samantha was having to do the same with dresses, although she didn't seem to mind it too much.

Scott was following Jesse around trying to figure out what he was going to sing at the Grammy's. This was an important step in his large plan of 'readying America for Wicked'.

"I'm defiantly thinking you should be doing a show tunes number…"

"Scott…"

"I would say Wicked but Fiyero doesn't really have a song he sings by himself…"

"…Scott…"

"What if you did a duet with Samantha? You could do As Long As You're Mine and it'd add to the rumors…"

"Scott!" Jesse had finally raised his voice enough to gather the other man's attention, "I already have a song picked out."

"Great! What is it?"

He tried hiding the smirk on his face but it was nearly impossible, "You'll find out."

Scott's face dropped all excitement, "Jesse this is no time to kid around. What is it?"

Jesse bit his lip in an effort to contain his laughter, "Who said I was kidding? Besides I already told the people at the Grammy's what it is so they can announce me and all. Don't worry yourself to death."

He furrowed his eyebrows, "Jesse you know this kind of thing could get you fired at some places."

Jesse shrugged, "But you aren't going to fire me. Besides, it's a good song and yes it's from a musical. So I'm pretty sure you'll be happy with my selection." He stepped into the fitting room to put on the tux Scott had ordered him.

Stepping out of the room, Jesse looked at himself in the mirror. He hoped it would help with everything he was planning. Not that the way he looked mattered too much, but he knew it couldn't hurt.

Samantha walked into the room and whistled, "Damn. Sometimes I wish we were dating." She said laughing. Their fake relationship had started to become a running joke between the two and it actually brought them closer.

Jesse laughed, "You don't look too bad yourself."

She collapsed on a plush couch near him as Scott walked away to take a call.

"So what are you singing tonight?" She pointed to him, "And don't you dare tell me it's a surprise because there is no way in hell I will accept that answer."

He chuckled and turned to face her, "But surprises are fun."

Samantha shook her head, "Not when I already have a feeling what you're singing and who you're singing it to."

Jesse sighed, "Fine. But you can't tell anyone; it has to be a surprise."

She clapped her hands together, "When have I ever let out a secret?"

He laughed, "You have a point." Jesse leaned in to whisper to Samantha what it was he was going to sing.

Her face light up and she let out a squeal, "Oh my God you are the cutest person ever!_ Please_ tell me you have a brother!"

Jesse walked back into the fitting room to put his normal clothes back on, "I do, actually. He's a little preoccupied with drugs though."

Samantha raised her eyebrows, "Really?"

He shrugged, "Yeah. I don't really talk to much of my family, except my aunt and uncle."

She nodded slightly, "Oh…"

At that moment, Scott came in, "Well they wouldn't tell me what it was you were singing. However, I still have to make sure everything else goes well so hurry up. We have things to do."

Samantha had laughed softly at his first sentence, causing him to look at her. "Oh you told her but you won't tell your boss? I see, I see." Scott casted a half smile at them both to show he was kidding.

She returned his smile brightly, "Oh trust me, it's worth the surprise."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next up: the Grammy's!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: If you look up the song make sure it's the Broadway version because it's different than the original song and that's the one that I had in mind while writing this. I hope you all enjoy the chapter :)**

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><p>Rachel walked into the living room of the home she shared with Finn, carrying a bowl of popcorn. They had a tradition of watching award shows together, at least ones like the Grammy's and Oscars. The Tony's she usually watched on her own since Finn would ask too many questions about who was who and she'd always miss something.<p>

She sat down placing the bowl in between them to create a little space. Rachel had been acting weird and distant around him lately, he finally asked about it after the third or fourth time she moved away after his attempts to kiss her. She started by saying she had a cold sore to the usual excuse she was simply pms-ing, a subject he liked to avoid at all costs.

At the moment they were showing the red carpet and all the celebrities walking down it. Some overly cheerful interviewer spoke with some a brief second and with others a few minutes. It took all of Rachel's power not to gasp when she saw the all too familiar person now talking to miss sunshine. She even felt Finn tense up a bit seeing him.

"…_So Jesse St. James, big night, isn't it? I hear you're performing! That's so exciting!"_

_Jesse nodded, forcing a smile that only Rachel could tell was fake, "Yeah it's defiantly a huge step for Wicked. I'm just really proud of our cast and the fact we could even get nominated for such an amazing award…"_

"_Yeah, yeah, but this song! Will you be singing it to a special someone?" The bubbly blonde gave him a knowing smile. The girl read the same magazines everyone else had and it seemed everyone wanted to know if Jesse was going to be singing to his "girlfriend". _

_He smiled smugly, "I will be actually, but unfortunately she won't be in the audience." _

_The interviewer frowned, clearly confused, "I thought Samantha was going to be here tonight."_

_Jesse nodded, "Oh she will be, and as I've said before Samantha is not my girlfriend. We're just good friends." _

_She narrowed her eyes for a brief moment trying to figure out if he was lying or not, "Well I certainly hope whoever this girl is she's watching tonight."_

_His smile faded a bit, "I certainly do too."_

As soon as the blonde began talking to the camera again, Rachel heard Finn sigh, "When he sings I'm gonna run to the store. We need chips and stuff anyway."

She decided it was best to not point out that she had actually gone to the store earlier that day. Rachel knew Finn was still cold when it came to Jesse, especially if he were to ever find out about the two now.

Rachel's phone vibrated and she grabbed it quickly _praying _it was the same person she hadn't talked to in weeks.

_I hope you're watching tonight. –J _

She laughed softly before putting her phone away so Finn wouldn't see. Jesse always had the most perfect timing.

For Rachel it seemed like sitting throughout the beginning of the Grammy's was absolute torture. She usually was able to enjoy the award shows, but tonight all she wanted to know was what Jesse was singing. He had made it clear it was to her, but what on earth it could be she had no idea.

After they had given an award to Adele, not to Rachel's surprise since the woman was a genius, they announced after a short commercial break they would be back with Jesse singing. Finn decided it was time he left for a moment.

"Hey Rach I'll be right back, you want anything?"

Rachel shook her head, grateful that Finn wouldn't be staying around for the performance. The last thing he needed to see was her reaction when her ex-boyfriend sang a song to her on national television. Of course no one knew it was to her, she was married and they had to be a secret, but she knew and that's all that mattered.

It seemed even her breathing stopped as soon as the show reconvened. Rachel didn't want to miss a single minute of it. The loud voice rang out of her TV, and she soaked in every word.

"_And now Jesse St. James will be performing a song from an older musical, American Idiot."_

The number looked much simpler than she imagined it would be. It was just one simple spot light fixed on Jesse, who sat on a stool with an acoustic guitar she didn't even know he could play.

American Idiot had never been one of Rachel's top picks, but as soon as he began playing she knew the song and it seemed every bit of anger she ever felt towards him melted away.

_The words get trapped in my mind__  
><em>_I'm sorry I don't take the time__  
><em>_To feel the way I do__  
><em>_'Cause from the first day you came into my life__  
><em>_My time ticks around you__  
><em>_But then I need your voice__  
><em>_As a key to unlock all__  
><em>_The love thats trapped in of me__  
><em>_So tell me when it's time__  
><em>_To say I love you_

_All I want is you to understand__  
><em>_That when I take your hand__  
><em>_Its 'cause I want to__  
><em>_We are all born in a world of doubt__  
><em>_But there's no doubt__  
><em>_I figured out I love you_

_And I feel lonely for__  
><em>_All the losers that will never__  
><em>_Take the time to say__  
><em>_What is really on their mind instead__  
><em>_They just hide away__  
><em>_Yet they'll never have__  
><em>_Someone like you to guide them__  
><em>_And help along the way__  
><em>_So tell me when its time__  
><em>_To say I love you__  
><em>_So tell me when its time__  
><em>_To say I love you_

Rachel didn't bother to wipe away the tear that had fallen. All she wanted –all she needed to do, was talk to Jesse. She had questions and apologies and everything in between she wanted to say to him. She grabbed her phone but then realized the show was live and he wouldn't be able to answer her call.

As soon as the camera panned over to the people announcing the next category her phone buzzed as if on cue.

"_Jesse! Shouldn't you be in your seat?"_

"_I told them I had to use the restroom, besides our category is way later."_

A moment of silence passed as Jesse waited for her to say something about the song. He didn't want to bring it up if she didn't want to.

"_How long?"_

"_Rachel what are you—"_

"_How long have you known that you loved me?"_

He let out a sigh before answering her question.

"_Rachel Berry I have loved you since we sang Hell-o. I wasn't supposed to love you, we were practically Romeo and Juliette and look how they turned out… but I did. I didn't want to tell you again this time around until I thought you might have felt the same way. I was beginning to think you did until that phone call."_

"_So why did you decide to tell me now?"_

"_I figured it was time you knew."_

_Rachel spoke quietly, "I'm sorry Jesse. I'm so sorry I ever doubted you I didn't even give you a chance to explain or anything and-"_

"_Rachel don't be sorry. Yes it hurt you thought I would cheat on you, but I should have called you to tell you and give you some warning as to what would probably be everywhere media-related." _

_She laughed softly, "We'll aren't we a pair?" _

_Rachel could hear him chuckling on the other line, "Yeah we are."_

_There was a comfortable silence for a moment as both people just enjoyed being reconnected. _

_Jesse broke it, "Hey Rachel I was thinking about stopping in Lima on my way back to New York."_

_Rachel's smile grew twenty times larger, "Really? Wait but what if we get caught?"_

"_We won't, trust me. I'll be very careful and stay in a hotel in Akron. We can do things outside of Lima so no one sees us." He then spoke suggestively, "or we could just stay in my hotel room…"_

_Rachel laughed, "Don't give me that when you're the one that stopped us last time!"_

_He scoffed, "I was not implying such a thing! I was only going to say we could watch a movie or something."_

_Her laughter continued quietly, "I'm sure you would never imply anything that isn't completely innocent." _

"_You're completely right. Hey we're about to be nominated I have to go."_

"_Okay."_

"_Oh and Rach?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I love you."_

The lined clicked and immediately Rachel collapsed back onto the couch. The most perfect thing she could ever imagine had just happened and to make things even better, Wicked had ended up winning a Grammy.

Finn ended up getting back home as soon as the category following Jesse's was announced. She simply explained quickly that Jesse had sung some random show tune and Wicked did in fact win a Grammy.

Rachel tried to hide the immensity of her good mood. Finn would surely be able to tell something was up and she didn't want to have to deal with that. Not since she had finally spoken to Jesse in what felt like years. Soon she'd be seeing him; the thought felt completely unreal. Rachel had prepared herself for the dramatic heartbreak as she waited to see him again and even though she always contained a soft spot for dramatics, skipping the waiting and going straight to seeing him was a much better feeling.

She began to wonder what on earth she would tell Finn. It wasn't like Rachel would randomly leave the house sometimes. She was going to have to be clever, which luckily for some reason when it came to cheating, she was.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke up continuing the routine she had memorized and continued to do. Get up, shower, get ready, and so on. Most days she stayed at the house, not even having a reason to leave. It had gotten less boring once skyping with Jesse had been added to her careful schedule. However during the days she had stopped talking to him, the schedule became far more tedious.<p>

Today was the first day she had signed back on after her and Jesse's fight. She was too scared to sign in with the fear of seeing his name pop up. Now though she said a silent prayer that he would be online. Rachel tried not to get her hopes up too high since he would probably be on a plane soon, but she did anyway. She let out a sigh of relief seeing a green bubble next to his name and picture.

She quickly clicked the call button and smiled immediately at the sight of his face looking right back at her.

Rachel spoke quietly, "I didn't think you'd be on."

Jesse smiled, "We have a schedule don't we?"

"But you're in LA."

"I can't cancel my favorite part of the day just because I'm in another city."

"This is your favorite part of the day?"

"Of course it is, I get to spend it with my beautiful girlfriend."

Rachel's smile widened, "It's my favorite part too."

Jesse sighed, "I missed you Rachel."

"I missed you too, I'm so sor-"

He shushed her gently, "Hey no more apologizing. Between the two of us that'd be the only thing our conversation would consist of. Well, that and Barbra Streisand."

Rachel laughed, "Well you are the only person that understands her genius as well as I do."

"That's what I'm here for."

"And for that I'm thankful." She rested her chin on her hands, "So when exactly are you coming?" Rachel could hardly contain her excitement.

"Well our flight stops in a city near Akron so I was just going to stay there instead of continuing on to NY like everyone else."

'When does your flight leave?"

Jesse chuckled, "Well someone's eager to see me."

Rachel rolled her eyes playfully, "You're excited to see me too so I wouldn't say anything."

He shrugged, "Yeah, yeah. My plane leaves tomorrow afternoon, and the flight's a few hours. I should probably reach the hotel at six."

"Can I come see you?"

"Well I would love for you to but what are you going to tell a certain someone?"

Rachel sighed, exasperated with her husband continuing to get in the way. It sounded awful when she put it like that, but it was becoming tedious having to make up lie after lie.

"How about, 'I want to spend time with my dads since I haven't seen them in a while'?"

Jesse contemplated it for a moment, "Sounds okay, but will it work?"

She shrugged, "It should… I don't see much of my dads anymore."

"Are you sure Finn isn't going to ask to go with you?"

Rachel snorted, "How many people do you know like seeing their in-laws? Well except Burt and Carole but they're the sweetest people in the entire world."

Jesse nodded in agreement; he had never met either of them, but the way Rachel said Burt would stick up for his son made him seem like an okay guy. He didn't know anything about Carole but he figured she'd have to be a good person for Burt to ask her to marry him.

He smiled, "Then I guess it's settled. You're going to visit your dads tomorrow and as far as anyone knows I'm in NYC still happy from winning a Grammy."

Rachel nodded, "I guess it is. Congrats on the win, by the way."

Jesse waved off her congratulations, "Thanks but I got something even better last night."

She smiled tentatively, "And what would that be?"

He shrugged, "Well I don't know, maybe it's the face that this beautiful girl I know has decided to start talking to me again or it may just be that I people loved my Grammy performance."

"Oh it must have been the Grammy performance. After all you of all people know that your career is far more important than some girl, no matter how beautiful she may be," Rachel said jokingly.

Jesse nodded, "Yeah that was nice, although this girl happens to be more important to me than any career."

She smiled brightly, "Really?"

His smile reflected hers, "Really."

With his perfect timing, Scott busted into Jesse's hotel room exclaiming about some interview that they were going to be late for. Rachel could barely see the tall man pacing behind Jesse. She sighed knowing he was probably going to have to go soon.

"Jesse what on Earth are you doing? _You _should be on your way to an interview about the Grammy win and your performance!"

Jesse kept his eyes on Rachel, hoping Scott would just vanish, "Hey Scott I'm a little busy right now."

The taller man walked over to Jesse, looking over the man's shoulder at the laptop screen. "So this is why you were so against pretending to date Samantha. I see why." He had spoken quietly but Rachel had picked up the sentence.

"Oh um hi! I'm Rachel Berry." The Berry part slipped off her tongue before she even realized it. Usually Rachel was the one to correct people about her last name, but after spending so much time with Jesse it was like she was turning into Rachel Berry again. Not Rachel Hudson, the woman always putting on her showface or who was completely fine putting her dreams away to be a housewife. Rachel Berry, the woman who wanted nothing more than to be in New York making her dreams a reality.

Scott straightened awkwardly, "Well its nice meeting you Rachel, although I'd love for it to be in person sometime. I'm Scott, by the way. Unfortunately though I'm afraid I have to take away Jesse." He walked away after the two waved goodbye so she and Jesse could say goodbye without him in the way.

Rachel smiled softly trying to mask the sadness she felt. Jesse smiled reassuringly, "Hey its okay. I'll be in Akron tomorrow and we'll be together. That's much better than staring at some screen."

She nodded, "I know, and I can't wait. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

He smiled brightly, "See you tomorrow."

They reluctantly hung up the call and Jesse closed his eyes tightly while sighing, "You couldn't have waited a little longer?"

Scott shrugged, "Sorry Jesse but you're going to be late soon." He began walking out the door, followed by Jesse. Scott turned around pausing for a minute, "She's married, isn't she?"

Jesse froze only for a moment before trying to cover it, "What makes you say that?"

He sighed, "I saw her hand."

The other man remained silent, not able to come up with a lie. He knew that Scott would see straight through it.

"Just be careful, okay Jesse? If you get caught both of your lives could be ruined."

Jesse shook his head, "We have everything worked out. It's going to be fine." He didn't want his thoughts to wander but of course now they did. They had never discussed what could happen if they got caught. To Jesse it seemed Rachel would be in a worse position than he would be. As much as he wanted to avoid the topic it seemed like something him and Rachel needed to discuss when he got to Akron.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I am so so sorry for the delay in updating. You have no idea how crazy life can get when you have rehearsals and homework and tests and quizzes, sigh to put it simply: it's difficult. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter! (I did something I've never done before so I **_**hope **_**I pulled it off well, but we'll see)**

* * *

><p>Jesse cursed under his breath as he sat at the gate waiting for an airplane that would be two hours late. He had already texted Rachel to tell her he'd be late, but it broke his heart to do so. She was just as excited as he was about his arrival in Akron but thanks to damn Mother Nature, the reunion was going to be delayed. He called a few other airports in the area, but none of them were going due to awful thunderstorms in Ohio.<p>

Samantha, noticing her friend was fuming next to her, ripped one of her earbuds out, "hey I know you're upset but pouting isn't going to help."

Jesse rolled his eyes but soon began laughing, "I am not pouting."

She began laughing along with him, "You totally are." She shrugged, "its okay, I'd be pouting too." Samantha gestured to his phone, "you call her yet?"

He nodded, "yeah I texted her… I know she's disappointed but of course she didn't say anything."

"She understands, though," she said with a shrug.

Jesse sighed, "I know she does I just hate having to be late since we made up over the phone. It felt like something we should have done in person, y'know?"

Samantha nodded, "Yeah, but you don't always have to have the perfect relationship."

He shrugged, "but a few years ago I promised her epic romance."

She shook her head, "for someone smart, you're pretty dumb."

Jesse furrowed his eyebrows resulting in a laugh from Samantha.

"Look, you promised _epic _romance, not _perfect _romance. It's not epic if it's perfect every step of the way. Every time you two have a problem, it just shows you that your relationship can withstand nearly everything." With a shrug she added, "It's just giving it character. Perfect isn't exciting." With that, she popped her ear bud back in her ear leaving Jesse to his thoughts.

After about an hour of the cast sitting in the airport waiting for their plane, the lady standing near the gate finally announced that the plane would be boarding in ten minutes. A few people sitting in the airport cheered and Jesse sent a quick text to Rachel telling her the plane was finally about to leave.

Both people slept waiting to reach the other, Jesse on a plane and Rachel in the airport. Finn of course believing that Rachel was at her dads, and everyone with Jesse knowing exactly where he was going, they just didn't know she was married. At least, most of them didn't.

Jesse walked into the airport lobby with his suitcase rolling behind him and chuckled softly seeing Rachel asleep with a venti coffee in her hand from one of the starbucks in the airport. He sat down in the seat next to her and kissed her forehead, causing her eyelids to open slowly.

Her features all brightened at the sight of her boyfriend, "Jesse you're here!" She hugged him tightly followed by a long overdue kiss. "I didn't mean to fall asleep but I was really tired and I just kind of drifted off."

He laughed, "Hey it's okay, you're cute when you're sleeping anyway."

Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink at the compliment, accompanied by a smile as wide as her face, "so off to the hotel?"

Jesse nodded repeating what Rachel had said, "off to the hotel."

They got into the rental car Jesse had called to get before he had reached Ohio and started on their way to the hotel he was staying at while in Akron. He kept stealing glances at Rachel who noticed all of them and giggled, "What?"

He smiled, "I missed you so much."

Rachel smiled, "I missed you too. Can we never fight again?"

Jesse nodded, "Sounds like a good idea to me."

She leaned forward and turned on the radio, making the rest of the car ride a private concert given by the two of them for only themselves. Each song they sang along to quietly and Rachel couldn't help but revel in the moment. The little moments like this one were the ones she was most fond of.

He parked the car, grabbing his small suitcase and Rachel's bag she had packed for the night. He wished she could be staying with him every night he was here but he wasn't stupid. Jesse knew if she did Finn was bound to know something was up. The taller man might not be the smartest guy on the planet, but he wasn't a complete idiot.

Jesse walked into the hotel and checked in quickly, following Rachel towards the elevator to the room. The hotel wasn't anything too fancy, this was still Ohio after all, but it was pretty nice.

As they stood in the elevator Rachel kept looking at Jesse with a smile on her face which elicited a chuckle from him, "what?"

Her smile grew and her voice went higher like it always did when she got excited, "I just can't believe you're really here."

He smiled, "I can't either."

The whole elevator shook, causing Rachel to scream and Jesse to drop Rachel's bag he had been carrying, his own still resting against the wall. She pressed the emergency button numerous times until Jesse pulled her back, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eye, "hey it's okay; you're fine."

She chewed on her lip nervously, "they'll fix it, right? Then they'll come and get us and we'll be fine, yes?"

Jesse smiled softly and nodded, "yes." He wrapped his arms around her smaller frame, "besides, I'm here. Do you really think I'd let anything happen to you?"

A small smile appeared on Rachel's face as she looked up at him, "out of all the people to be stuck on an elevator with, I'm glad it's you."

He smiled, "likewise." Jesse leaned against the wall and sat down; Rachel placed herself on his lap, still a bit freaked out about the elevator breaking.

The first thirty minutes of being stuck in an elevator consisted of conversation much like the one in the bar the first time they had seen each other in recent years. Jesse explained more of the Samantha thing, and Rachel explained how marriage life was going. She didn't make it sound any worse than it was, but she didn't make it sound better either. The truth was, Rachel was beginning to wish it was Jesse she was married to. She couldn't tell anyone that, though. She didn't even want to admit it to herself.

They sat in silence for a few minutes waiting for someone to get them out of the elevator. It wasn't that they minded being together, but the feeling was still making Rachel anxious and Jesse hated seeing her worry so much.

Rachel began laughing softly causing Jesse to furrow his eyebrows and look at her. Her laughter continued, "Do you not remember when we got locked in that dressing room at the mall? Oh my god the sales woman's face! I thought she was going to spray me with holy water or something."

Jesse continued to look at her with a slight smile on his face remembering the moment like it was yesterday.

* * *

><p>"So what about this one?" Rachel said as she walked out of the dressing room, wearing a new dress she was getting for some dinner party her dads were having for their friends that she was being forced to go to.<p>

Jesse had been sitting in one of the chairs they always had in fitting rooms for dads, boyfriends, and anyone that had gotten dragged to the mall. Not that he had needed to be dragged, he was with Rachel and that's all that mattered to him.

His eyebrows shot up looking at his girlfriend in the dress she had tried on. He knew she was beautiful but he had never seen her like this. A smile formed on his face, "I defiantly think we have a winner."

Rachel looked back into the mirror and smiled, "really? You don't think it makes me look weird or anything?"

Jesse stood up to stand behind her, both of them looking forward into the mirror, "Rachel Berry you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. It's impossible for you to look weird."

Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink that she quickly tried to ignore, "Can you unzip me?"

His eyebrow shot up causing Rachel to laugh, "No funny business! Just unzip me."

He chuckled, "as you wish."

Rachel shut the door to make sure no one else would see her, even though she was pretty positive her and Jesse were the only ones in the store other than a few sales people. Jesse unzipped part of the dress, kissing her neck softly as he did so. Rachel's eyelids fluttered shut, "Jesse," she whined.

He stepped back letting out a soft chuckle, "I know, I know. We went over this last week when we almost did it then talked instead." Jesse reached for the doorknob of the dressing room, but it wouldn't turn. He continued to mess with it without any luck. It was one that didn't actually have a manual lock because it was automatic and was _supposed _to unlock from the inside.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "very funny."

Jesse laughed a bit nervously, "Um Rach I'm not kidding."

She pushed past him and tried to undo the door herself, reaching the same conclusion as Jesse. Rachel huffed while he began laughing at her, "oh shut up. How do _you _plan on getting out of here?"

Jesse shrugged and tapped on the door of the fitting room, "someone's bound to hear us." Rachel started to bang the door repeatedly until an older looking woman opened it. She smiled graciously at the woman, but was returned with her looking cross at the couple. Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, not sure why the woman looked so angry. That was until she realized she was wearing half a dress and her boyfriend was right behind her. Rachel's mouth flew open as she began attempting to explain what was happening and she could hear Jesse snickering behind her.

The woman held up a finger to silence her, "honey that is not something you should be doing in public places." She continued to chastise her for a moment before walking away looking disgusted. Once the woman was out of earshot Jesse's laughter had grown significantly.

Rachel smacked his arm playfully but her own laughter soon bubbled over, "this is not funny! She probably thinks I'm some whore!"

Jesse grabbed her waist pulling her closer to him, "eh let her think that."

They kissed softly, leaving all thoughts of the random sales woman behind.

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><p>"What made you think about that?"<p>

She shrugged, "well we're stuck in a small room. Well, elevator, but same premise." Her eyes remained trained on her feet, "that was like a week after we first started dating."

Jesse smiled remembering the times they had shared as a couple, "I had never been so happy before."

Rachel smiled softly at him before furrowing her eyebrows, "how come I never met your parents?"

He let out a sigh, "well you have to remember I never wanted to believe that I was falling for you. Plus… Well Rachel they aren't very good people."

She cocked her head to the side not fully understanding; Jesse reluctantly continued, "your dads liked me, or at least gave me a chance, because you liked me. My parents aren't like that. They wanted me to grow up, go to Harvard or Yale or something like that, become a doctor or lawyer, get married to some woman with practically the same background. I was never supposed to be a performer until Shelby explained to them how good I was and that colleges would be all over me because of it. They never supported it, though. Only tolerated; they still don't, even now with Wicked. If they knew at the time that I was dating someone that had the same future planned that I did…" He let out a sigh, "Rachel they would have asked you to leave as soon as you walked in the door." Jesse closed his eyes trying to rid himself of the memories from high school regarding his parents and Rachel.

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><p>Jesse walked into the kitchen, throwing his keys on the counter. His parents were in Italy at the moment, so he wasn't too worried about being loud.<p>

"Someone's home late," an unexpected voice rang out threw the room.

He sighed as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, "mom it's only ten."

The older woman crossed her arms, "yeah, ten on a school night."

"Why do you care?" He took a sip of his water, not wanting to have this conversation now.

His mother looked shocked at the question, "maybe because I'm your mother?"

He snorted, "yeah biologically maybe. Shouldn't you be in Milan with dad right now?"

She quieted, "Actually they needed me here at the office."

An awkward moment of silence passed before Jesse began to walk towards the stairs but he was stopped by his mother's next question.

"It's a girl isn't it?"

He turned towards his mother, shrugging, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She sighed, "Oh please Jesse. I may not be in your life 24/7 but I'm not an idiot."

Jesse walked back over to the island in the kitchen and placed the bottle down, "fine then. Yes I have a girlfriend."

His mother's lips formed a straight line, "I don't like her."

He let out a bitter laugh, "you haven't met her!"

She raised her eyebrows, "and you think I care? I know enough to where she's either A: a slut or B: a wannabe actress that's getting nowhere."

Jesse pointed at his mother, his voice rising gradually with anger, "don't talk about her like that!"

The woman's mouth opened in shock, "don't raise your voice at me! I don't want you seeing her."

He raised his eyebrows, "oh and you're gonna stop me? You know you'd actually have to live here more often to even try and control that."

Jesse turned around and angrily headed to his room avoiding the calls coming from his mother.

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><p>Rachel bit her lip, "how come you never told me?"<p>

He sighed, shaking all the thoughts away, "as if that glee club didn't make you feel like shit enough, I didn't need my parents to do that too."

She placed her hand on his cheek, "I'm sorry, Jesse."

Jesse shrugged with a light smile on his face, "it's okay. I mean, I have you and that's all that matters."

Rachel kissed him softly, "and I'm not going anywhere." She knew everything about this was bad. She was completely and utterly falling for him again, as if she had ever stopped. In reality, she had only pretended to. Seeing him again, being with him, it brought back all the old feelings she had hidden on a shelf far away. Rachel wasn't quite sure exactly when it happened, but it had. She was completely, utterly, head-over-heels in love with Jesse St. James. Again.

She was about to tell him too, but just as she opened her mouth to utter the three words she knew would change everything, the elevator doors burst open with a bright fluorescent light shining through.

"Hey you kids okay?" A man looking to be somewhere in his forties helped Rachel up, then helped Jesse.

She nodded, smoothing out her clothes, "Yes we're fine, thank you."

He scratched his head, "sorry it took so long to fix this thing, there was traffic and man this one was a doozie."

Jesse waved off his apology, "we were fine."

The older man looked at the two adults and smiled, "I'm sure you were. Have a good night."

Rachel smiled, "you too!"

She followed Jesse towards their room, "well this has certainly been interesting."

Jesse chuckled, "yeah interesting."

They stumbled into the small hotel room, Jesse placing both bags onto the floor next to the bed while Rachel searched her bag for the t-shirt and shorts she had packed to sleep in. She hopped into the shower quickly while Jesse changed and sat down on the medium-sized bed.

He sighed, not believing that he had actually told Rachel about his parents. That was something he hadn't told anyone. Not to mention Rachel was one of the only people he really didn't want finding out. He didn't want her to think he'd be ashamed of her, but he knew his parents would disapprove and they wouldn't feel bad about saying so.

He was taken out of his thoughts when he heard the water stop running and Rachel standing in the doorway with a smirk on her face, "I thought you said that shirt looked better on me."

Jesse raised his eyebrow, "it does, but as I seem to recall you didn't want it."

She shook her head and walked over to sit down next to him, "I don't remember saying that."

He chuckled, "it was implied."

Rachel moved her face closer to his, "actually, 'I don't want my husband to find out I'm having an affair' was what I implied."

He shrugged, "same thing." Both broke whatever space was in between them with a long kiss. It wasn't rushed or lust-filled but it wasn't exactly soft and sweet. It almost perfectly summed up every feeling they had felt away from each other for so long.

Rachel wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep exactly; between the kissing and the talking it was hard to remember. Now, however, the loud pitter-patter of raindrops against the window was giving off the fake illusion that she should still be sleeping, even though she knew it was sometime in the morning. She laughed softly at the fact that the rain practically reflected her melancholy feeling knowing that tonight wouldn't be nearly as nice as the one before. Rachel felt Jesse's arms around her and closed her eyes hoping maybe she could go back to sleep and stay here forever. Unfortunately though, sleep wasn't going to be visiting her again until tonight.

She turned around gently, so she wouldn't wake up Jesse, and looked at him for a moment to see if he was still sleeping. Usually he would wake up before her but after traveling all day she figured he'd be dead. Rachel smiled softly as she pushed a few curls away from his face. She had always liked his hair better in the mornings, when it was less done and just there. Rachel had seen more of Jesse yesterday than she had ever before. Given, it wasn't much that he had said, but it was _something_ and that was a lot for him.

He stirred a bit and his eyes began to open slowly, "I think I could get used to waking up and seeing you first thing in the morning."

Rachel rolled her eyes, ignoring the faint color shining on her cheeks, "you are so full of shit. I look terrible in the morning."

Jesse smiled, pulling her closer to him and kissing the tip of her nose, "Rachel Berry how many times do I have to tell you that you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen?"

She giggled, "I dunno, maybe I'll believe it eventually."

He nodded, "I sure hope you do."

They stayed like that for a while –with Jesse's arms wrapped around her while the large covers surrounded the two, creating a cocoon to seclude them from the world. The silence was welcomed and comfortable, being assisted by the light sound of rain against the building. Rachel closed her eyes and sighed, nestling herself into his chest, "can we stay here forever?"

Jesse chuckled lightly, "I wish we could. Maybe we can't stay forever but I do believe this hotel has pay per view and we _could_ stay for a few hours."

Rachel looked up at him smiling softly, "you have the best ideas."

He smirked, "I know." He reached for the remote, only breaking their closeness slightly. In her purse on the other side of the room, Rachel's phone continued to vibrate, the caller being the one person who would be furious to find out where she was. The couple remained oblivious to the few times her phone flashed with a missed call notification. They were too preoccupied with the new Julie Andrews movie and each other to care about anything else.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you liked the chapter! :) Hopefully the next one will be out sooner but as I said life's kind of crazy right now for me. <strong>

***Psssst* Reviews make my day (I actually really wanna know what you all thought about the flashback thing because I've never done it like that and I just want to know it that's a good way to do it)**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: hey guys! First of all, sorry for the delay but I was out of town which I was hoping would cure writers block but only helped bring plot bunnies. Tis okay though, because somehow this one came fourth! Secondly, I want to thank all of you guys so much for the wonderful response to this story :) I never thought I'd get to 20+ reviews on **_**any**_** of my stories (lets be honest, there are much better ones you could be spending time on) but you all make my day every time I get an email saying someone reviewed or set an alert, etc. **

**Okay ridiculously long and rambly authors note over; enjoy the chapter (at least I hope you do)! :)**

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><p>Rachel sighed not wanting to leave the embrace between herself and Jesse. They stood in the lobby of his hotel –their final moments together being treated as if it were their last, which was hardly the case.<p>

"We could just run away, you know." Although the idea Jesse was proposing sounded wonderful, she knew it would only be a fantasy. She smiled sympathetically, "as enticing as the idea sounds, we both have lives we can't just leave." He sighed and pulled her closer, hoping that the action would make her stay forever. "And who says we can't?" She shook her head, "your director and my husband." as soon as the words left her lips she wished they hadn't.

Finn wasn't exactly a topic they enjoyed discussing during their rendezvous. She felt him tense up at the mention of her partner, but he quickly relaxed. His face may have been buried in her neck but she knew he was plastering on a show face. It was much like the one she had mastered over the years; it was a talent owned by the theatrically-gifted that she knew all too well.

Choosing to ignore that awkward wave that passed through them, Rachel sighed, "besides, we still have.. what two days until you have to leave? It's not as much as I would like but it's better than nothing." Jesse looked up to meet her eyes, all his wishes that she could stay evident but unspoken.

After moments passed with the two simply gazing at each other, she smiled, "so tomorrow then?" He smiled and placed a chaste kiss on her lips, "tomorrow." She reluctantly left the warm feeling of his arms around her for the cold backseat of a cab that would soon take her back to the airport to retrieve her own car she had left there the previous night.

Rachel finally cast a glance at the bright flashing her phone emitted. Finn had called her three times which was more than unusual for him. She debated calling him back or waiting until she got home to talk to him and decided to choose the latter, mostly because she wanted to hold onto the memories from last night and not return to reality. That was something she still couldn't fully admit to anyone –including herself. No, she was only waiting because if he called three times it was probably important and face-to-face worthy.

She laughed at herself in the back of the cab; it was beginning to prove difficult to believe even her own bullshit.

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><p>Rachel reluctantly walked up the stairs to the place she called home. It wasn't a home though, not really.<p>

The moment she walked in to see Finn staring at a black tv-screen was the moment she should have known something was wrong. "Hey honey," she faked a certain happiness she wished could be real. "Where were you?" the abruptness of the question caught her off-guard although she should've seen it coming. That didn't mean she didn't have a pack of lies already ready, though.

"I was at my dads, like I said," she hoped the confusion she was trying to add to the question was coming across right, "why?" He sighed and stood up to look at her, "I called you and you didn't pick up, so I called your dads place and they said you weren't there."

Rachel froze momentarily. He knew. It was over. Completely and utterly over. She composed herself quickly; she was an actress after all. Maybe it wasn't her occupation but damn it she was still a good one. She opened her mouth to explain with another lie to add to the mix when he cut her off. "Are you cheating on me?" he closed his eyes tightly. Cheating was never a light subject for the two given their history in high school.

She shouldn't be angry. Cheating is exactly what she's doing. She has no right to want to yell at him for the accusation. Rachel kept repeating this in her head over and over. The only problem was that she was angry; what made it worse is that she didn't want to be. "Do you really think I would do that, Finn?"

He sighed at her question, "well gee Rachel I dunno, is it the fact that you lied to me that maybe gives me the impression that you are? Or maybe the fact that you were gone all night god only knows where?" She threw her arms in the air, her voice gradually gaining volume, "it was Quinn, alright?"

Finn looked up at her like she had told him they actually lived on mars, "you're cheating on me with Quinn?" His question almost caused her to laugh, but she knew that would only make things worse, "no, she came into town and I went to see her."

His eyes were still full of suspicion; Rachel knew it was a weird excuse to tell him but it was the first thing that rolled off her tongue. "So why couldn't you just tell me that?" Her eyes looked down at her shoes and she turned quiet, "because you know how you are around her…"

He snorted bitterly, "please enlighten me." They both knew what she was thinking but Finn wanted to hear it from her. She, on the other hand, didn't really want to say it. "Well you can never control yourself around her."

His eyes narrowed, "I what?" he didn't give her the chance to explain, "Rachel that was high school! She's married! Hell, I'm married! You honestly believe that I'd cheat on you?" She crossed her arms, "well you just accused _me_ of it." Although in her case, it was true. She was too blinded by anger to care about that and too busy fuming.

"Because you lied! Of course I'd accuse you of it!" every sentence he said only made her angrier. She wished she could run away, just like Jesse had offered that morning. Rachel shook away the thoughts quickly, she couldn't think of him, not now; not in the middle of this.

"So automatically you assume I'm cheating?" The question was answered by a mumble that escaped Finn's lips that he didn't intend of being audible, "wouldn't be the first time." A bitter laugh escaped her lips, "that was one time! Once! You weren't exactly mr. faithful either."

She shook her head. This is why they never brought up cheating. It never ended well and yelling always ensued. Her face was red with irritation which matched the tone of his face as well. There was something different about this fight, though. This time, Rachel had a place to go to. She had someone that would understand and dry her tears, and that's exactly where she was going.

Finn opened his mouth to speak but she quickly cut him off, "you know what? Fine. Call me when you realize we aren't in high school anymore." She turned on her heels, grabbed the bag she had taken to the hotel last night and stormed out the door. A proper storm out, she'd like to note. Half of her expected, or rather hoped, he would come after her. Maybe then she'd have some reassurance that the cheating wasn't worth it. That maybe her marriage still meant _something_.

Climbing into the driver's seat and angrily tossing her bag into the backseat, she took one final look at the door and sighed. He wasn't coming; he never would.

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><p><strong>AN: it came out shorter than I would like but the chapter needed to end here rather than later so, sorry I guess. Anyways I hope you liked what I did have and keep in mind reviews make the sun shine a little brighter and help me write a little faster ;)<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Wow okay this is the first time one of my fics has reached double digit chapters and it's really exciting! **

**I hope you all are enjoying the story because I've defiantly had a blast so far with writing it :) **

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><p>Rachel could hardly see through her watery eyes; that mixed with the rain that had only gotten harder since that morning made driving not exactly a good decision on her part. She had to get out of that house; that fucking interrogation that she completely turned around for the worst. She almost felt bad for thinking so harshly, but she couldn't help it anymore. Living like this was getting harder and harder. The man she was beginning to think she loved being so close, yet so far away; the man she was beginning to think she didn't love the one she had to go home to every night. She wanted to get away. Run. Drive. Walk. Wherever the hell her legs would take her she wanted to go there. She just needed someplace to think. That was it.<p>

As _Defying Gravity_ began blasting from her phone, Rachel picked it up blindly, expecting it to be Finn, "what the hell do you want now? To tell me that I'm going off to cheat on you again?" The voice on the other end surprised her and caused her to pull over into an empty gas station on the side of the road. There were many like it on the way to Akron and luckily this one happened to be the most deserted.

"Blaine?" She sighed, feeling like an idiot, "I'm so sorry, I thought you were Finn." She caught up on the automatic concern in his voice. He was the only one that knew the whole situation, other than her and Jesse of course; she realized she finally had someone that could look at it unbiased. _"Rachel it's fine. Are you okay?" _

She shook her head, every part of her wanting to tell him that it was. Then he wouldn't have to worry about her. She didn't want to be anyone's burden. Yet when she opened her mouth to speak, the only things that came out were barely audible words and a hiccup to follow them occasionally. "No Blaine, I'm not… Finn thinks… he thinks… I mean…"

The voice on the other line began to shush her, "_Rachel it's okay, just tell me what happened."_ She stifled her sobs and spoke slowly, attempting to prevent hiccups from returning, "I spent the night with Jesse last night-"

"_Jesse's in Lima?"_ The man was obviously shocked over the fact and she knew she should go into depth about it but she was too busy focusing on what happened only fifteen minutes ago. "Well Akron technically, but he is in town. Anyway, I spent the night with him at his hotel and I told Finn I was at my dads but he called them and they said I wasn't there. Then of course when I get home he begins throwing all these accusations at my face about cheating and whatnot and I lied and told him I was seeing Quinn who came in town and told him that the reason I didn't say anything was cause I thought he'd cheat on me with her. Then we started yelling and I stormed out and now I'm on my way to Jesse's hotel." Her voice had flown about a mile a minute and she questioned whether or not she should've have informed him of where she was going, but this was Blaine and she knew he would understand.

Her cries began to comeback after her explanation and he was quick to try and stop them, _"hey it's okay. Everything's going to be alright. Finn's just a little mad but he'll cool down soon, he always does."_ She shook her head, her tone going from melancholy to bitter, "but what if I don't cool down?" Rachel sighed, "God Blaine, nothing makes sense anymore. What happened to my husband? The one that used to wink at me during glee club; that would take me to football games even though I didn't understand them. He'd show me to all his friends and say 'that's my girl'. Now whenever we have full length conversations they usually result in yelling; even worse I can't even kiss him without feeling guilty. And this guilt I'm feeling? It's not even because I'm cheating on him! It's because I feel like I'm cheating on Jesse! What's wrong with me?"

Blaine was quick to assure and comfort her; she was beyond thankful that he had called her. _"Rachel nothing's wrong with you. I don't want to make your life even harder but have you ever considered just… leaving Finn?" _She bit her lip, it was impossible for him to read her mind, but she felt like that's exactly what he had done. No, she couldn't leave Finn. He was her husband. She loved him. At least, she thought she did. Wasn't she supposed to? He was her husband, and she _should _love him. But what she felt wasn't love. That was directed towards someone else; she had a feeling it always had.

Rachel froze and spoke quietly, "I love Jesse. Oh my god. I love Jesse."

Her voice was so low Blaine didn't catch what it was she had said, _"Did you say something?"_ A smile formed slowly on her face, "Blaine, I think I'm in love." She could practically see his brow furrowing at her vague statement, _"with who, exactly?"_ She rolled her eyes, "with Jesse, of course!" She could hear him trying to hide the worry in his voice, _"are you going to tell him that?"_ She shook her head quickly, a small frown forming on her face, "I can't tell him! Not yet! I'm still married. No, it has to be after the…"

"_After the what_?" He knew what she was talking about, but he was hoping she wasn't going to say it. He did want what's best for her, which clearly was Jesse, but he knew what she was referring to wouldn't be pretty, especially not one between her and Finn. "Blaine, I have to go I'll call you later."

"_Rachel wait-!"_ It was too late, though. She had already snapped her phone shut and thrown it into her purse. The rest of her drive to Akron was filled with a bit of fuming and a bit of hoping, but surprisingly no tears.

* * *

><p>She knocked on his door sheepishly. What if he wasn't there? What if he wanted a day to himself without her? All her thoughts were quieted as the door in front of her opened revealing Jesse in nothing but sweatpants; his hair was still a giant mess of curls and he looked like he had been sleeping. A smile formed on his face seeing who it was that knocked. Admittedly she was taken aback a bit by his lack of clothing, well partial lack, but she quickly composed herself.<p>

"Oh did I wake you up? I'll um… I'll just…" She turned around to leave but a hand had quickly grasped her arm. "Sleep can wait." She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug even though her body was smaller than his. His arms were instantly around her as well, and immediately he knew something was wrong. As the two pulled away, he looked directly at her eyes and lifted her chin to make sure she would meet them, "Rach, what happened?"

She smiled, praying to God it looked real, "nothing I just wanted to see you." A frown appeared on Jesse's face and he gently pulled her into the room, placing her on the bed where he sat next to her, "bullshit. As much as I'd love to believe you came here just to see me I know it isn't true. Now what happened?"

Rachel looked down at her hands that were idly messing with the hem of her skirt, "Finn thinks I'm cheating." She turned to face the wall opposite Jesse. She couldn't look at him. Not now; certainly not like this.

Jesse turned quiet, this was it. Finn had caught them. As soon as it seemed their relationship had started, it was about to end. Now's when she'll look at him sympathetically and say she can't do this to Finn; that her husband means too much to her. He would always come second to the younger man, it was a sad but true fact he learned the hard way every time. "So this is goodbye?"

She shook her head quickly, furrowing her eyebrows; finally meeting his gaze, "No! Jesse I l-" she almost muttered the word but caught herself at the last moment, "I like you a lot; there is no way I'm letting Finn get in-between us." This caused his eyebrows to shoot up, "you aren't?" She smiled reassuringly, "no, I just lied. Simple as that."

He believed her about the simple part of her answer for a second. The momentary lapse he blames on her what exactly she had said. _'I like you'. Like. _Not love. He loved her, which was evident after the Grammy's, but for all he knew Rachel was just bored with her marriage and needed a little fun. She wouldn't do that though, would she? He mentally shook the thoughts away. No, she would never do anything like that. She just needed time. That was it, just time. He hated how insecure he felt about his feelings when he was with her. Jesse was used to wooing a girl, fucking her, and be happy continuing on with life. That all changed with Rachel. He worried about her feelings and whether or not she'd reciprocate his own. It almost scared him. _Almost. _

He shook his head, "not simple as that." Jesse took a hold of her hand, "please just tell me what's wrong." Rachel bit her lip, there was no way she was going to cry again, no matter how badly she wanted to. "We just… We ended up yelling at each other and I stormed out and I don't want to go back but I have to eventually." Tears began to well up in her eyes which made Jesse pull her into his arms tightly and began stroking her hair calmly shushing her. "Everything's going to be okay, alright? You know you always have me."

A soft smile appeared on his face as he leaned closer to her ear and sang softly.

_Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around_

The actual context of the song in the musical may be different than their situation completely, but he knew how to make Rachel stop crying and singing was his way of choice.

_Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, no while I'm around _

He wanted to beat up Finn for making her cry. Wanted him to feel all the pain he was most likely causing her. But he couldn't. He knew Rachel would hate him for it; no matter how much he wished he could, it wasn't worth losing her over.

_Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays, _

_I'll send 'em howling,_

_I don't care, I got ways_

Her stifled cries had quieted and he had a strong feeling there was a small smile on her face. Why her husband would ever do something to take that smile away he didn't understand. It was the most beautiful thing on the planet, why wouldn't you want to make it appear twenty-four/seven? As he continued singing, one of the last verses he sang cautiously knowing it'd strike home for her.

_Being close and being clever,_

_Ain't like being true _

_I don't need to,_

_I would never hide a thing from you_

_Like some…_

It was faint, almost enough to where he almost missed it, but during the very last verse he could hear her quietly sing along with him.

_No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare__  
><em>_Others can desert you,__  
><em>_Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there!__  
><em>_Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while__  
><em>_But in time...__  
><em>_Nothing can harm you__  
><em>_Not while I'm around..._

She looked up at him with a soft smile on her face; her eyes stained red; her cheeks a slight tint of pink; yet she had never looked more beautiful. Jesse kissed her forehead lightly and smiled, "you know I'm always going to be here for you, Rach. Unfortunately not physically here, but I already let you go twice and there is no way in hell I'm letting you go a third. I know you hate it when I talk bad about him but Finn is an idiot for making you cry like that."

Rachel shook her head, "he knows though. He knows I'm cheating. It's only a matter of time before he puts pieces together." Jesse chuckled, "he doesn't _know. _He _thinks. _Look, I know you hate lying but think of it as an acting exercise."

He winced at his own choice of words. _'Think of it as an acting exercise' _the very words were the ones he was told about eight years ago by his former coach. The same words that caused him to do something he still regrets. Maybe not as much now since she had forgiven him, but still enough to where he still regrets it daily, hating himself probably more than she did when he did it. They were what caused him to swoop into Rachel's life. To take everything and change it. Flip it upside-down only to find himself falling for her. The lines between acting and reality had switched involuntarily; having his own heart broken by her, or at least something that felt like heartbreak. Maybe it was just intense jealousy from being triple-casted, but either way it hurt. It wasn't supposed to. _An acting exercise. _That's all it was supposed to be. The words sounded dangerous, even to him now.

The same words also brought them together, though. It was almost bittersweet enough to make him laugh, but his feelings toward the bitter part were too strong to even think about laughing. Their rough beginning of pain and suffering, that star-crossed lovers' fantasy they shared so long ago, was all gone now. What did remain was a relationship of one fully embracing the love they held and the other finally beginning to. It may not sound as exciting or as movie-esque, but the two did have a flair for the dramatics so Jesse wasn't too worried about anything getting boring for them. Not to mention the fact that their whole relationship was a secret. He imagined that was a bit exciting.

Rachel crinkled her nose and spoke, bringing Jesse straight out of his thoughts, "sounds a bit devious, though, don't you think?" He smirked, "I understand. You can't handle it. I shoulda known there'd be a role you just can't accomplish." At moments like this he knew challenging her was the only way to get her to do it. She raised her eyebrows, "can't accomplish?" she laughed, "please tell me you're joking."

Jesse held back a laugh and shook his head, "no it's okay, don't be embarrassed. I'm sure eventually I'll find a role that I can't accomplish either. It happens to the best of us." Rachel narrowed her eyes, "I hate you. I really do." He smiled and rested his forehead against her own, "I love you too, Rach." He leaned in to kiss her softly, thinking maybe that could take away any thoughts she had on Finn. He just wanted her to be happy; to see her smile. That's all he ever cared about anymore.

Her phone beeped informing her of a text and she eyed the device for a minute, debating whether or not to check it. Texting after a fight like that was exactly something she could see Finn doing, and she really wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

She sighed and grabbed it hesitantly, squinting her eyes enough so she could just tell the name. If it was Finn she decided she would throw it across the room, if it was anyone else, well that depended on the person. Blaine's name flashed brightly and a smile formed on Rachel's face. She knew his text was one she could look at. The small device in her hand beeped twice more resulting in three new texts from Blaine.

_Rachel! I totally forgot to tell you why I called! You'll never guess what's in two weeks… _–_B _

_I just remembered you're probably with Jesse so I'm going to tell you anyway _–_B_

_IT'S OPENING NIGHT OF WEST SIDE STORY! _–_B _

Rachel screamed seeing her friends text and immediately showed Jesse. He smiled, "that's awesome for him." His eyebrows furrowed, "who's Blaine again?" She typed out a quick reply while she answered his question, "Kurt's boyfriend. He went to Dalton Academy, well until his junior year which was our senior year, that's when he transferred to McKinley."

_Blaine that's so great! Does this mean I get to see my two best friends soon? _–_R_

Jesse nodded at her answer, "wait… Dalton Academy? Like the Warblers?" He chuckled to himself, "gotta hand it to them, they gave Vocal Adrenaline a run for its money." She rolled her eyes, "let me guess, your talent pulled through because you're Jesse St. James and you've never lost a show choir competition?" He smirked, "you know me so well." Another beep came from her phone and she directed all her attention towards it.

_You better! If you aren't there you are in serious trouble. Plus you know Kurt would kill you for going back on your promise you'd audition when you came back to see my show. _–_B_

_Plus I have three seats saved for all of you! _–_B_

Shit. The auditions. She did promise Kurt, and something this important to her she wasn't going to back out of, but then there was Finn. They had just fought about something today and last time she mentioned auditioning for shows he completely flipped. If she actually went to the audition god only knows how mad he'd get. Another secret. That's what it was going to have to be.

Jesse noticed the text sitting in front of him accidentally, well maybe it was a little intentional, and raised his eyebrows, "audition?" She bit her lip and nodded, "Yeah… Kurt… well he's making me audition for shows when I go back to New York." A wide grin formed on his face, "Rachel that's great!" He hugged her tightly, "do you know which shows yet? I can ask Scott if there are any auditions for shows coming up." She shook her head, "I have no idea about that, I didn't even know his opening night was so soon… you don't mind asking?" He shook his head no, earning him a grateful smile from his girlfriend, "you're the best." A familiar smirk appeared, "I know." She laughed and shook her head, turning back to her phone.

_Well I'll defiantly be there. I don't know how much Finn will like the idea of me auditioning but maybe I'll just have to add another secret to the pile _–_R_

_Aw man, I totally forgot to ask if you're okay now _–_B_

_It's fine, I'm with Jesse and never better _–_R_

_Good. Maybe you can bring him to my show instead of Finn _–_B_

_I'm kidding _–_B_

_Mostly _–_B_

_I thought you liked Finn…? _–_R_

_Not after hearing you cry like that _–_B_

Rachel smiled to herself and squeezed her phone tightly. Blaine had easily become one of her best friends and she wasn't quite sure what she'd do without him; especially now with the whole Jesse thing. He had become the only one she could talk to about it, and she wouldn't have chosen it any differently.

_Thanks, Blaine _–_R_

_Anytime Rachel _–_B_

Jesse smiled warmly, "I've decided I like him." Her eyebrows rose slightly, "so he has the St. James seal of approval?" He nodded to answer her question, "he does. It's good to know I have someone to help me beat the shit out of Finn if he hurts you." Rachel's mouth flew open in protest causing him to burst out laughing and place his arms in the air defensively, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding." She elbowed him lightly, "you're such a jerk." He smiled, "ah but you love me anyway." Her eyes rolled automatically, "just shut up and kiss me."

Their lips met in a tender kiss that Rachel hoped would cause her to get her mind of the inevitable approaching. But because forgetting would be too easy, her mind instinctively categorized everything she needed to do in two weeks: talk to Finn (which was sadly unavoidable), make up with Finn, talk him into going to NYC (without telling him about auditions), get a kick-ass dress for Blaine's show (Kurt most likely has this covered), and finally go to New York.

It seemed doable. Not wanted, but doable. Well, half of it was wanted, the New York and dress part. Not so much the parts involving her husband, but those had to happen. She wanted to imagine what would happen if she was cast, but the thoughts were too scary to visit. If it happened she knew a fight would break out between the couple. What scared her most was the quiet thought in the back of her mind that wondered if that fight would be their last. If she was cast and had a paying job in NYC, she'd be close to Jesse; suddenly the ideas that Finn wouldn't be able to handle New York didn't bother her so much.

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><p><strong>AN: well this one was defiantly longer than the last one and I hope you all liked it! :)<strong>

**(also I promise I didn't forget about my other fic but right now this one is kind of throwing itself at me)**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Oh and ps, next week is tech week so it'll probably be a while until my next update. Sorry guys, but I can't really help it.**

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><p>To say Rachel was dreading the small walk from her car to her front door was an understatement. She sat in her car for what felt like an eternity; working up the courage to get out and have a talk with her husband she knew she had to have. Fighting with Finn left a bad taste in her mouth that was more than difficult to remove, but usually making up with him was the easiest thing to do and the quickest way to solve the problem. This time was different, though. Much different.<p>

Instead of a bad taste in her mouth and her stomach twisted from guilt, her lips still had a slight taste of coffee on them; her stomach only containing butterflies from remembering her morning. She brushed her fingers over her lips to check if they were still slightly swollen from the amount of kissing she had done earlier; they were a little, but not nearly enough for Finn to take notice; she would have missed it herself had she not specifically checked.

She let out a sigh and reluctantly stepped out of the car. Her pace quickened as she headed to the steps, knowing if she slowed down at all she would turn around; then it would be too late. So, onwards she went. The journey seemed miles as opposed to the few feet it actually was, and knocking on the door seemed to require more strength than usual.

The door opened only moments after she knocked on it. At it stood Finn who smiled slightly, obviously hoping to get over the argument as quickly as possible. He had never been one to enjoy arguing for long periods of time; she wasn't either. _Maybe that's what kept their marriage alive_ she thought curiously with a slight twinge of bitterness.

"You're back," he motioned towards her, keeping the same goofy grin on his face.

She nodded slightly to affirm his statement, although it was obvious that it was true, "I am… Look Finn, we need to talk." He stepped back to allow her entrance into their house. She stiffly sat on the couch and politely waited for him to sit next to her. Everything felt too formal; not the way a family should act.

"I'm sorry I freaked out. I know you probably had every right to accuse me of cheating seeing as how I lied to you and for that I'm sorry." She kept her eyes on her hands that were folded neatly in her lap.

Finn smiled and punched her arm playfully, "so you understand? Cool. I was worried you'd still be mad and I'd have to apologize even though I didn't really do anything."

Rachel forced a soft laugh, "no that won't be necessary." her teeth gritted slightly, not that he noticed of course.

And that was it, the end of the argument already. Well, out in the open anyway. Behind closed doors Rachel was still upset and although Finn was content with her simple apology, she wasn't. She hadn't been the only one in the wrong had she? He was right with his own accusation, but to accuse her of it so quickly when she had lied once? It seemed a bit harsh to her.

She focused on her true reason for coming here and getting the whole apology thing over with: to talk to Finn about their soon return to New York. Conveniently she planned to forget to mention her auditioning for shows.

"So have you talked to Kurt and/or Blaine recently?" Her tone remained awkward and she only hoped Finn didn't catch it.

He nodded, continuing to smile, letting her assume that he hadn't, "yeah actually, I talked to Kurt. He said Blaine's show's opening soon?"

Rachel smiled, she was beyond happy for Blaine and his big break, "Yep, two weeks to be exact."

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "So I guess we're going back to New York?" Her reaction to his question reminded him much of their high school days. A wide smile grew on her face and her arms flung around him in a hug. He hadn't quiet realized how little they actually acted like this until now. It was a feeling that he had suddenly began to miss.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Oh Blaine's going to be thrilled! Kurt too, of course, but this is his big Broadway debut! I've got to call them!" She hurried out of the room excitedly and quickly began dialing Blaine's number.

"_You will never guess who's going to be in New York in two weeks to watch one of her best friends Broadway debut!"_

She heard a chuckle on the other line and heard him whisper to who she assumed was Kurt.

"_I was so worried you two wouldn't make it! How was the whole making up conversation?" _

His question was quieter and she knew he was probably trying to conceal it from Kurt. The both of them hoped to spare any bad feelings towards Finn for his sake, but Rachel was beginning to wonder if it was time he knew. Kurt would understand and besides, she missed getting to tell her best friend everything.

"_It was fine. I apologized, he was glad he didn't have to apologize. Same-old, same-old." _

She let out a heavy sigh unconsciously.

"_well I hope whatever it is the two of you can fully work it out. Don't forget you're auditioning for stuff while you're here. Kurt's already asking around; we know something huge is a bit too unrealistic, but don't worry he's looking for some good in the middle musicals for you."_

Rachel could hear Blaine already begin to go into one of his tangents that could last decades.

"…_actually I think he found one at New World Stages that would be awesome for you… I don't remember the name of it, though… hold on a sec…"_

She laughed and shook her head, _only Blaine. _

"_it's alright, you can tell me all about it when we get there. Only after you tell me all about your Broadway experience, though." _

"_Oh of course I will. By the way, is Jesse still in town?"_

"_Yeah, but he's leaving in two days. We're meeting tomorrow and then he's gone."_

She saddened a bit at the thought, which Blaine somehow caught onto.

"_Just two weeks, Rachel. Then you can see each other again."_

"_I know… I just… I miss him already and he hasn't even left yet." _

"_Then I'd say you need to hurry up and move to New York."_

She rolled her eyes, _"you know I can't do that."_

"_You'll have to when you get into a show."_

_He paused for a moment, "By the way I'm hanging up now because I made a good point and I want emphasis on it."_

Rachel giggled, _"bye Blaine."_

"_Bye."_

There was a click on the other line and Rachel hung her own phone up as well, slipping it into her pocket. She wasn't expecting anymore calls, but in case Jesse did text her she didn't want Finn to see it.

She placed herself on the couch next to Finn who put his arm around her shoulders. For him, it was completely normal; for her, it felt like a weight. Being this close to someone who wasn't Jesse, it felt like cheating. Except that was completely backwards. It was twisted, backwards, and convoluted and she knew it.

Rachel leaned back onto the couch and although Finn's arm remained around her, she didn't curl into his embrace. She couldn't without thinking about Jesse, especially now that he was in town for her. He could be in New York, yet he was in Ohio for a few days just for her.

Finn smiled gently, "so uh you wanna watch a movie? I think Braveheart's on."

She faked a smile, not that he would notice the difference, "sure, that sounds great." She held back the automatic response to roll her eyes. They didn't have to watch a musical, but it would be nice to watch a movie that she liked as well. She sighed quietly; maybe being with Jesse sort of spoiled her. She was used to doing everything she wanted with him, but that was usually because he wanted it as well; with Finn they didn't enjoy many of the same things.

After much thought she eventually came to the conclusion that she _was_ a bit spoiled in that department, although part of her wondered if that was the way it should be. _Shouldn't her and her partner like the same things? _She shook the thoughts from her head worried Finn would be able to know what she was thinking.

Rachel had tried to enjoy the movie that night, she really did; she tried to display some sort of affection towards her husband; tried to just plain make it _look _like a real marriage. But the façade she had to keep, the lies she had to tell, it was taking a toll on her. She barely said two words to Finn before turning over to go to sleep. It was slowly becoming Hell; she knew it wouldn't be able to work much longer. It was a powder keg; she was only waiting for the day someone lit a match.

After Finn left for work Rachel, waited a good thirty minutes before she got ready to go meet Jesse for their date. He wouldn't tell her what they were doing and she was eager to find out.

She took extra time in doing her hair and makeup, and picked out a cream colored dress matched with a light colored jean jacket and black wedges that Kurt made sure she knew would all pair together. It was one of the many different outfits he had made sure she left New York with.

She pulled out her phone and dialed Jesse's number to make sure he knew she was coming.

"_Hello beautiful."_

Rachel's cheeks automatically turned pink from the compliment, but knowing he couldn't see her she quickly ignored it.

"_Hey, I was just making sure it's cool if I came over now."_

"_Of course it is. Everything's ready for our date."_

"_Ready? What exactly are you planning, St. James?"_

She heard him chuckle, amused at her question and the answer he was about to give.

"_Now Miss Berry you know I can't tell you that."_

"_Pretty please?" _

"_Nice try, but you aren't going to persuade me that easily."_

"_What if I bribed you?"_

"_Sounds awfully tempting, but the surprise is much better."_

Rachel let out a sigh, although she wasn't really too upset. She knew if Jesse had a surprise for her it'd be completely worth it.

"_Fine. I'll just have you know that I hate you."_

_He laughed, "You love me."_

Rachel froze speechless for a moment. Even in conversation as simple as this, she wasn't ready to tell him she loved him. She had finally admitted it to herself and Blaine, but she wasn't ready to give all of herself to Jesse. Telling him that she loved him would be just that. There were too many bumps in the road ahead to get completely on board. She quickly thought of something to say, hoping he didn't catch her moment of hesitation.

"_Not if you keep doing the surprise thing to me."_

"_Ah but I do know you love my surprises."_

The way Jesse said his last sentence made Rachel wonder if he was implying that he didn't know if she loved him. Rachel wished there was a way he could know without her having to tell him but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Not until they sat down and she admitted it.

"_Fine, I do."_

"_So she finally admits it."_

"_Oh shut up, I'll see you soon."_

"_Can't wait." _

Rachel scribbled a note to tell Finn she was running errands in case he got home before her, which she figured would happen. After clipping it to the fridge, she walked outside and hopped into her car, heading to Jesse's hotel. She was excited about his surprise, whatever it was, and she knew it'd get her mind off everything that had been bothering her that morning.

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><p><strong>AN: One day more, another update another thing to read, this never ending story. You people that read this thing should leave a review for me. (whoops still in the Les Mis mindset, and that totally didn't make sense but hey I tried) <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: As always, I hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

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><p>Rachel glanced at the clock the radio in her car provided. It was a little after five meaning she was right on time for their date –whatever it was they were doing. She let out a small laugh, shaking her head at the thought of Jesse refusing to tell her what they were going to do. He had something planned, that was obvious, and even though she had fully explained to him that he didn't need to apologize anymore, he still felt the need to through his actions; she could tell, whether or not he'd actually admit it out loud.<p>

She grabbed her red bag out of the passenger seat, throwing her denim jacket back on and smoothing out the creases in her cream colored dress. She had gotten to a point to where she wouldn't even try to hide the confession that she dressed nicer when she knew she'd be seeing Jesse. He was her boyfriend, why wouldn't she?

Rachel walked into his hotel, smiling politely to the doorman and heading straight up the elevator to his room. The memories she had from being in this elevator caused her to begin laughing and she was thankful no one else was sitting in it with her; they probably would've thought she was crazy.

She practically skipped towards the door to his hotel room, knocking on it lightly. After about the entirety of two seconds, the door opened to reveal Jesse, who greeted her with a soft kiss. He smiled at her, "so are you ready?" The abrupt question caused her to laugh, "You haven't even told me what we're doing!" This earned her a smirk, "you'll know soon enough." He took her hand, leading her to the elevator she had just come out of.

Rachel was immediately thrown off by his actions in the elevator. He pressed the button for five levels _above _his own. She tilted her head to the side, "uhh, Jesse? You do know you hit level ten, right?" He raised his eyebrows for a moment, confused by her question. Looking back at the button brightly shining the number ten, he nodded, "yeah I know."

She furrowed her brow, completely thrown off about what they were doing. She usually prided herself in being able to figure out how movies and things ended beforehand, or figuring out the killer on CSI before they did, but she was completely stumped on this. Jesse wrapped his arm around her waist, pressing a kiss against her temple, "Would you calm down? I promise you'll like it." he said with a chuckle.

Rachel giggled, a small blush forming on her cheeks, "fine; I'm sure I'll love it." He smiled smugly, "you will." She rolled her eyes as the elevator binged, followed by the door opening. "Hey we didn't get stuck that time," she noted as they walked into the empty hallway. "I'd say that's an achievement, although I wouldn't say us getting caught was necessarily a bad thing." She shrugged, "I didn't say it was." Truth be told, Rachel had actually enjoyed getting caught in the elevator, just as much as Jesse had.

"So care to explain why we're in the middle of an empty hallway?" she asked while Jesse continued to lead her to a door marked 'EXIT'. He remained silent and she knew it was stupid to even ask. Whether or not she wanted to, she was going to have to wait.

Jesse pushed the door open, guiding her up the stairs, clearly farther than the elevator would allow. Finally putting together some pieces, she furrowed her brow, "why are we going on the roof?" He smiled as he pushed open the door, "because there isn't a restaurant around here worthy of a date for the two of us." She walked past him onto the roof, instantly taken aback. Small bushes, each having pink flowers blossoming on them, lined the railing of the roof; Christmas lights wrapped around the actual railing; in the middle of everything was a small square table, with a simple white table cloth covering it. Two chairs were seated across from each other, completed with a bottle of champagne in the middle of the table in a silver ice bucket.

Rachel immediately turned to face her date, "oh Jesse it's beautiful! But how?" He chuckled, directing her over to the table, where he pulled the chair out for her, followed by taking his own seat, "my parents used to own this place. They sold it, but the staff is pretty much the same. I used to come here a lot as a kid, even worked a few summers when I was sixteen to 'teach me character'," he shrugged, "anyway so most of the staff here likes me and I asked if they could help me woo my girlfriend." He raised an eyebrow, "so were they successful?"

She laughed and nodded her head, "yeah I think they were pretty successful." After pouring the two of them small glasses of champagne, Jesse smiled at her. Rachel crinkled her nose in amusement, "what?" He shook his head, "nothing. I guess I just can't believe how beautiful you are." She bit her lip, cursing the fact her cheeks so easily changed color. Thankfully for her, a man that looked to be in his forties dressed in a white shirt, black pants and bowtie, walked up to the table placing two dishes of spaghetti on it.

Jesse smiled at him, "thanks Steven." The older man smiled at the young couple, "it's no problem, Jesse. You know you and your friend are welcome here anytime." He smiled at Rachel who returned it sweetly. As soon as the other man was back inside the hotel, Jesse went into a brief explanation of who he was, "Steven's kind of like my dad, since my real one's such an asshole."

She nodded, not needing much more of an explanation; talking about his parent's wasn't something Jesse particularly enjoyed, and she avoided the topic whenever possible. He quickly spoke again before either of them began eating, "it's vegan, by the way. Don't worry." Rachel smiled, "thank you." Jesse shook his head, "you don't have to thank me, but you are welcome." A smirk appeared on his face, "I told you, you would love it." Rachel rolled her eyes as a retort and both began eating their dinner, falling into a comfortable silence.

The wind had begun to pick up, followed by the sun beginning to set, causing Rachel to shiver despite the jacket she had on. Jesse stood up and immediately removed his leather jacket he'd owned since she could remember and wrapped it around her. She smiled in thanks and he placed his hand out for her to take it, "Here I want to show you something."

Rachel took his hand, standing up from her chair over to the railing where he had directed her to. The view of the city was beautiful, not to mention as close to New York City as she could imagine getting in Ohio. She rested her head against Jesse's chest, letting out a sigh, "did you just think of everything?"

He chuckled softly, "anything for you, Rach." She turned around, trapping him in a kiss. She pulled away with a smile that she was trying to keep from turning into a smirk due to his stunned expression.

Jesse placed his arms around her waist, resting his forehead against hers, "now that is something I'm going to miss." Rachel retaliated by placing her arms around his neck, pouting slightly, "do you have to leave tomorrow?" He looked at her sympathetically, "you know I don't want to, but you were the one saying I can't let down Broadway." She let out an over exaggerated sigh, "fine."

He smiled softly, "but aren't you coming back to New York soon? I thought West Side Story is opening in a couple weeks." She nodded, "yeah, but that's too long away. I don't want you to go, or me to have to stay." He tilted her chin up to be able to kiss her one final time. "Soon enough, my sweet, soon enough."

Rachel sighed, "But I'm going to miss you." His expression softened, complete with a genital smile as he hugged her tightly, "I'm going to miss you too, but we'll be together again soon enough."

She knew letting go wouldn't be _as _hard had she not had a fight with Finn only the night before. Being apart from Jesse was only less painful when she at least got to pretend to be in love with the man she went home to every night, but she was done pretending.

Rachel suddenly felt nervous as she opened her mouth to finally mutter what she'd been debating to tell him for a few days now, "Jesse, I… I mean I think I…" She bit her lip; this was proving to be harder than she thought it would. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, gently shushing her, "Rachel, it's okay. You don't have to say it just because I have." She shook her head, not wanting him to think that wasn't why she wasn't fully prepared to say it, "that's not _why_ I want to say it. It's just… I'm still married to another man. What we're doing, yes it's wrong, but confessing having more than just attraction, to bring love into the matter? I… I can't."

He nodded understandingly; simply glad that instead of not saying she loved him because she didn't reciprocate the feelings he had for her, she only refused due to the ring around her finger. Which reminded him–

Jesse slowly got onto one knee, pulling a small box out of his pocket, which not only caused Rachel to gasp, but he nearly thought she was about to faint. "Oh my God, Jesse what are you doing?"

He chuckled, "well Miss Berry, since unfortunately it appears I can't marry you myself, I thought I'd give you a ring." He opened the small box, revealing a small ring. The main part of the ring was a heart, with a small diamond in the middle of it; nothing too flashy. Rachel shook her head in disbelief, "It's beautiful, but you know I can't wear it."

Jesse smiled knowingly, "of course you can." He pulled it out of the box to reveal a small silver chain that the ring hung off of, making it a necklace. It was just long enough for her to hide it under her shirt, which she knew was exactly why Jesse did it. Even though Finn wouldn't see it, they'd secretly be flaunting what they had in front of him –which was a temptation far too good for Jesse to surpass.

Rachel lifted her hair allowing him to be able to put the necklace on her. She gazed at it, "this is incredibly stupid, you know." He raised his eyebrows and chuckled, "wow, not exactly the response I was looking for." She kissed him on the cheek, "oh you know what I mean. The ring's beautiful, but wearing it around Finn? Come on, the two of us _just _had a fight about cheating."

Jesse shrugged as if the answer to her problem was so simple, "so just take it off if he ever seems to get suspicious." She sighed, "It isn't that simple." For a brief moment, she swore she saw hurt in his eyes. It was something she had only seen maybe once before at nationals, after everyone had left and he had asked her if it was worth it. Rachel being herself at the time, answered yes without a second thought, only to discover that it wasn't.

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><p><em>Rachel sat on the edge of the stage, dangling her legs off the side. A few people, mostly from the winning glee club, continued to walk around the theater, each too busy to notice a lonely girl from a losing glee club. The rest of New Directions had gone back to the hotel to throw themselves a pity party that she simply couldn't deal with. She had assured them that she was fine and that she would be back at the hotel in no time. Everyone seemed alright with leaving her, except for maybe Kurt and Finn, who she assumed she was now dating –they had kissed on stage in front of millions of people; that meant something, right?<em>

_Too immersed in her own thoughts, she didn't hear the footsteps coming towards her. The one person who thought to ask the lonely girl who lost what she thought was the biggest competition in her life. _

"_Hey, you okay?" She looked up to see the sympathetic eyes of Jesse St. James looking back at her. She hadn't known he had come to watch them until directly after all of New Directions had come off stage, but at that moment she had been cut off by Finn, who said something about the superman of kisses? She wasn't quite sure, exactly; she hadn't been paying too much attention to him, only the daring thing they had done onstage. _

_She smiled brightly, "Yeah, I'm fine." Honestly, Rachel wasn't sure if she was. She had finally gotten the guy of her dreams; he had broadcasted their love to hundreds of people, but it had come at a price: she lost her chances of a National title. There were many reasons why the showface was invented, and although it probably wasn't originally credited for it, this was one of those reasons. _

_The curly haired boy nodded his head slowly, accepting her answer even though he didn't believe it. Jesse knew how much Finn meant to her, even though it killed him to admit it, and he didn't want to spoil her happiness. _

_He didn't bother to sit next to her, her answer to the question he was about to ask would probably send him away. He took a breath, slightly hesitant but needing to know, "was it worth it?" _

_Rachel furrowed her eyebrows, shocked by the question, "of course it was." The answer flew out of her mouth without a second thought. _

_Pain flashed in Jesse's eyes, and she immediately regretted saying it so fast. He had looked so… hurt. Although he had simply nodded, said goodnight, and walked away, she could clearly hear every word unspoken –all because of those eyes. _

_While losing the competition hurt, seeing what she had done to a boy, who at one point she thought she loved and who had told her he had loved her; although she still wasn't sure if that was a lie or not, made her feel worse about everything. _

_After going back to the hotel and rejoining her friends, no one questioned her silence figuring it was simply because she was upset over losing. The only one who bothered to ask was Kurt, but the room was filled with people who didn't particularly like Rachel and Finn being together, people who would jump at the chance to make Finn angry –which any mention of Jesse would easily accomplish. _

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><p>As soon as it appeared it was gone, just like it had a few years ago, covered up by the very acting skills that landed Jesse the acting job he currently held in New York, "hey, you don't have to wear it if it makes you that nervous."<p>

He wished that what she said hadn't hurt him so much, especially when he knew why she was weary to wear it. Rachel had every right to say that wearing it would be stupid; he knew that if Finn saw it, it would probably be literal hell on earth.

It just felt like, once again, Jesse was being overshadowed by the oaf. He tried to look at it from a better perspective –who was Rachel with right now? Oh right –him, not Hudson. She was the only girl he'd ever worried he wasn't good enough for, not that Finn was, but more often than not Rachel seemed to think so. He could never tell her any of this, though. While he could happily admit his love for her, _nothing_ had ever taught him how to verbally express his insecurities. Even at a young age he was taught by the infamous Mr. St. James himself, 'insecurity is a sign of weakness; show your weakness and you're nothing.' It had been drilled into his head almost enough to make it his personal mantra –not that he wanted it to be, but after hearing it so much, he couldn't even help it.

He was taken directly out of his thoughts by Rachel shaking her head, "no I want to wear it, it'll be worth it." He smiled and brought her closer to him, "I love you," not wanting her to have to worry about stuttering out a response, he kissed her softly.

She pulled away smiling, "is that your new way of shutting me up?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, "I guess that depends –did it work?" Rachel placed her arms around his neck, "Hmm… Maybe."

"Then I guess I should try again," he said quietly as their lips met again, making the world seem like it was only inhabited by the two of them.

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><p><strong>AN: Hoped yall liked it! I was actually really happy with this one, but maybe that was just the glee feels talking. <strong>

**Anyway I tried to paste the link here for the ring, but google's being funny and won't let me. (if you google 'promise ring' it's on the second page, shouldn't be **_**too **_**hard to find)**

**As always, please review, you will be paid in my eternal love. **


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I wish I could tell you guys I'm happy with this chapter, but it's not as awesome as I was hoping it would be. New York needs to be it's own chapter so this is kind of a filler. Try not to hate me?**

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><p>She hadn't realized how hard it was going to be; watching him leave. Rachel knew that it was going to be painful, sure, but completely heart wrenching? That she wasn't expecting.<p>

Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she placed her hand on the window looking out at the plane Jesse was on. She was thankful the old woman at security let her go through even though she didn't have a plane ticket. It helped that there were obvious tears in her eyes; not to mention the wedding ring on her finger that made the older woman think Jesse was her husband; _if only, _Rachel thought to herself.

She wished she had gotten to spend all morning and night with him, but she knew she shouldn't be pushing things with Finn. She had even removed the ring/necklace before going into her house that night; even though it killed her to do so. That was something she couldn't tell Jesse, as far as he knew she always wore it.

Rachel closed her eyes and hugged herself tightly, hoping that maybe if she pretended hard enough it would be Jesse whose arms were around her, not just her in his jacket. In hindsight keeping his jacket probably wasn't the smartest thing, after all it'd be pretty damning evidence if Finn ever found it, but it did make the parting slightly easier.

The woman from security waddled over to Rachel and placed her arm on the girls shoulder. "Sweetie, are you okay?" she questioned with sympathetic eyes.

Rachel nodded with a sniff and small laugh, "Yes, I'm fine. I'm just going to miss him, that's all." She stole another glance at the now empty run way; just like that, he's gone.

The older woman smiled, "he'll be back before you know it. My late husband used to be a pilot; this is where we met. It's hard to love someone that's gone a lot, but you kids have all this technology now. You can see him even though he'll be miles away."

Whether or not the woman knew it completely, she had made Rachel feel so much better. She was still heartbroken, but just having someone look her in the eye and tell her things would be okay was exactly what she needed; it was something she lacked lately.

Blaine gave her reassurances, but she knew the whole thing made him nervous. Not to mention he now had to lie to Kurt occasionally, which was something the both of them hated to do. Rachel made a note to finally tell Kurt when they arrived in New York; it was time he knew.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts she smiled at the woman, "thank you, for letting me through to say goodbye and for talking to me."

The woman waved off her thanks with a gentle smile, "Sweetie there is no need to thank me. You two look at each other the way George and I used to. I could never get in the middle of that with some silly old rules."

Rachel laughed softly, "well thank you. I better be off, I'm meeting someone for dinner, it was nice meeting you, though."

She replied with a nod and smile, waving goodbye as Rachel made her way out of the airport. After getting into her car, Rachel pulled her phone out and texted Jesse even though she knew he wouldn't get it until reaching New York.

_Miss you already. –R _

Rachel threw her phone back into her purse sitting in the passenger seat and began driving home, knowing she needed to make it back before Finn did.

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><p>Finn sat down to think for a minute after almost breaking the air condition in one of the cars he was working on; for the third time. Usually fixing up cars helped him think, but everything going on with Rachel was seriously confusing him.<p>

Ever since New York she would avoid any attempt he made to get close to her. It even seemed like she avoided talking to him at all if she could help it.

He couldn't think of anything he had done that was wrong. He did kind of yell at her for cheating, but that was justified, right? She had lied to him; it wasn't like it was too farfetched of a thought. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea since there wasn't anyone in Lima she would cheat on him with since they were really the only ones from McKinley still living here, but with the way she had been acting it seemed to make sense.

Suddenly he heard a song from one of the musicals he remembered Rachel used to make him listen to in high school. He grabbed his phone to see if she had changed her ringer in his phone, but seeing the TV he realized they were making a movie out of that musical with the witches. _Wicked, right? _

Finn smiled triumphantly seeing Wicked broadcasted across the TV screen, along with two women that oddly looked like Shelby and April. Shrugging off the weird similarities between the women on screen and women from his past, the commercial brought him back to the brief conversation between him and Rachel about her auditioning for shows in New York.

He settled on believing that's why she was acting so weird. It was Rachel after all, and if she was set on something she could get pretty stubborn. It was one of the things that proved difficult sometimes, but he loved her anyway.

He began to wonder if them going to New York was such a good idea, but he knew Kurt would kill him if they didn't go support Blaine. He was just going to have to come up with some way to talk her out of trying to audition for shows. It wasn't that he didn't want her dreams to happen, but they had a life here in Lima; he thought that was enough for her; it was for him.

Before heading off back home, Finn grabbed the phone sitting in front of him and called Kurt's apartment. If anyone knew what was up with Rachel it'd be him.

"_Hello?"_

"_Kurt? Man I-"_

"_Oh hey Finn, Kurt's not here… You want me to tell him you called?" _

"_Oh sorry Blaine, nah it's okay you'll probably be able to answer my question. Do you know what'd been up with Rachel lately? She's been acting… weird."_

The other line went silent; causing Finn to stare at the phone to make sure neither person had hung up.

"_Oh I'm sure she was just missing New York so she was acting a bit moody. She'll be completely back to normal when you guys come back here soon." _

"_Okay well, thanks man. I'll see you soon."_

"_No problem, see you later." _

Finn hung up the phone, still unsatisfied with his lack of knowledge on Rachel. He figured Blaine probably did have a point though; as soon as they got to New York everything would probably go back to normal. He hoped so, anyway.

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><p><strong>AN: well I hope you liked what I had. I don't know how many times I deleted and rewrote stuff. <strong>

**basically this chapter was a bitch.**

**Anyway, since New York will be the next chapter, if you have any ideas for the shows Rachel should audition for, either PM or leave a review (Seriously, it's up to you guys, since I don't really know yet the story is complete putty in your hands).**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: I'll save you the whole spiel about why this is late, just know I'm sorry if you actually cared about this fic enough to want an apology**

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><p>For Rachel, their trip to New York felt much like the first; as the plane touched down in the city, Finn was sleeping while she listened to her iPod until the stewardess walked over to politely tell her it needed to be turned off; Kurt and Blaine were also patiently waiting for them, their huge smiles taking up more than half of the couple's faces.<p>

She eagerly met both with a large hug, while Finn brought up the rear, lugging both of their suitcases with him. "How have the two of you been? It's practically been forever since I've seen you!" Rachel exclaimed after pulling out of the bond between her and her friends.

"Never better now that you're here," Blaine replied, his hand currently holding onto his partner's. "How come you're always busy on skype now? I swear every time I tried to talk to you, you already had a video chat going with someone else," Kurt questioned in a mock tone of being offended.

"Just an old friend; I'll explain it all later," she answered with a laugh, turning to make sure Finn didn't hear that she spent her time video chatting with someone while he was away; God only knows the fight they would have after him learning something like that.

Blaine cast her a raised eyebrow, silently asking if she was really going to tell Kurt soon, to which Rachel replied with a small nod; it was time her best friend knew.

As Finn walked up, Kurt stared at her for a minute before nodding, "you better." Finn smiled blissfully ignorant, "better what?"

Blaine was quick to point towards the exit of the airport, "you guys wanna go back to that café place we went to last time you two dropped into town?" Once again Blaine had completely saved Rachel; she wondered how much she really owed him by now.

"Yeah I didn't get to go with you three last time, let's go!" Finn exclaimed happily. Rachel held back the sigh she wanted to release hearing that this time he actually wanted to go; how was she supposed to tell Kurt that she'd been seeing Jesse for a few months now that her husband was going to be sitting right there?

She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and after seeing the text Rachel looked towards her friends and husband, "actually I have to use the restroom, I'll meet you guys at the car, okay?"

Blaine and Kurt both gave her strange looks; public restrooms, at least in places such as airports, disgusted Rachel, a fact both knew, but Finn just smiled and nodded, continuing on his way to the car along with couple.

She smiled at them as they began to walk away and made her way over to where the text she had gotten informed her to go. Looking up from her phone at the Starbucks directly across from the security checkpoint, Rachel immediately spotted the familiar bundle of curls and walked, almost ran, _almost, _towards Jesse, who spun her around as soon as his arms were around her.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, keeping her arms wrapped around him.

"Now, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't meet you at the airport?" he asked, his lips curved upwards in an amused smile.

She pressed her lips against his in retort, knowing that the two meeting in such a public place probably wasn't smart, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

"So how long are you in town for?" Jesse asked, not wanting to think of her having to go again, but wanting to know how long he could see her for before she went home again.

Rachel shrugged, "well since there 'weren't any flights' until Sunday, we're here until then." She was happy that it was her that ordered their tickets and everything; telling Finn that there weren't any flights available until Sunday had been all too easy. "But it also depends on if any auditions work out."

"Which they will," he pointed out.

"You don't know that," she replied, letting her fear show through for only a moment.

He tenderly placed a hand on her cheek, her nerves beginning to melt away from his gentle touch, "actually I do; you have the talent, Rachel. It's about time the world got to see it."

She smiled softly and looked down; there were so many questions about auditioning she wasn't sure of. Finn still didn't know about it, and she knew he wouldn't be happy when he did, she didn't know if she _would_ be cast, and lastly, what would happen if she didn't?

The very thought of staying in Lima for the rest of her life terrified her. Being in a show was her only way out, and if it didn't work out, what was she to do? She knew Finn wouldn't leave with her, there wasn't anything for him to do in New York, but would she have the courage to leave him? In high school she didn't, with the exception of once, but she went straight back to him.

"You have to stop doubting yourself; I know the girl that I met in a music store is in there somewhere," he said with a light laugh.

"I know I do, it's just hard," she responded with a sigh.

Jesse looked at her and smiled, "well then I guess we've got to get you in a show to prove to you that you're good enough."

"Hey, no helping. I mean you can tell me where auditions are, but you aren't allowed to call any casting friends and make them cast me; I want to do this on my own," she said sternly.

"Pretending he's beside you?" He asked with a smile, earning him a light shove from Rachel.

"Believe me, if I had that kind of power I would have already tried, but unfortunately I can't make anyone cast you. Scott did give me some open auditions he heard about that we can go over when you have more time, since I'm assuming Kurt, Blaine, and Finn, are waiting for you," he continued.

She groaned at the prospect of having to leave Jesse, she knew she had to, but that certainly didn't mean she wanted to. "So when exactly are we going to have more time?" she asked, her voice sounded more hopeful than she had intended.

"Hmm... well let's see today's Saturday, and I'm sure your friends want to spend time with you… How about Monday? There's no show that night so you can stay with your 'aunt' or whoever it was you told Finn you were staying with last time you visited," he answered.

She smiled brightly, a bit overly excited thinking about the day. Her phone rang out, signaling that Blaine had texted her to inform her she had been gone a bit too long. She sighed, "I guess that's my cue to go isn't it?"

After a chaste kiss, Rachel began to head back towards her friends and husband. She turned hearing Jesse tell her to wait; he informed her that Wicked's last show was on Friday, and he could get her and whoever else (although he hoped that wasn't going to include Hudson) tickets. She nodded, told him she'd love to go, and finally sad goodbye.

Back at the car she apologized for 'getting lost' in the airport, and said a quick thank you to Blaine no one managed to hear except for him. The car ride was relatively quiet with the exception of the radio playing and Kurt finding random conversation topics, trying to fill the awkward silence; luckily though, he didn't have to for long, and before they knew it, they had arrived at the couple's place.

"I still can't get over how nice this place is," Rachel remarked during their brief time in the building.

"Well it's still not the nicest place in New York City, but with Blaine's new Broadway salary and my new line, we can afford pretty nice," Kurt replied with a shrug; he and Blaine tried to downplay their excitement over their life in New York, at least around Rachel.

"You don't have to do that," she spoke with a slight smile. "What?" he responded; half-knowing the answer he was going to receive. She knew him too well to actually believe he wasn't psyched about his current life. "The whole shrugging off you and your boyfriend's magnificent life here."

"Sweetheart you'll have that too soon; remember how I told you we were going look for some auditions for you to go to? Well we happened to find a few and next time it's just you, me, and Blaine we'll go over them," he said quietly, knowing that Finn still wasn't too keen on her being in a show.

The four promptly left Blaine and Kurt's loft to eat at the little café they had been to only a few months ago. The place hadn't changed much, at least from what Rachel could see. She found it strange how almost all of New York seemed the same, yet so much in _her_ life had changed; it seemed only right that the city holding the most importance to her change along with her, yet everything looked like it had a few months ago.

After they ordered, Finn went to the restroom, finally allowing the three the moment alone Rachel had been craving. "So who is this old friend, if I may ask?" Kurt asked as soon as his step-brother was out of earshot; clearly Rachel hadn't been the only one wishing for the three to be without Finn.

She sighed, wanting this conversation to be much longer than they had, "Kurt can I please just tell you after this? We can go back to your studio where you had my dress last time."

He stared at her, as if going over what she was asking in his head before answering. _"Please" _she pleaded, her eyes looking almost as desperate as her tone sounded.

"Fine," he answered flatly, "but you're telling me the minute we're alone."

She nodded; of course she would tell him as soon as she got the chance. "I promise," she reassured him.

Finn walked up at the very moment of her promise and all conversation of the previous topic was dropped. Eventually things began to be normal between the four, and all throughout dinner Rachel actually found herself laughing and having a good time, something she lacked lately.

"So are we going back to y'alls place now?" Finn asked, a yawn accompanying the question.

"Well actually, I had something I wanted to show Rachel; it's part of my new line. But I'm sure Blaine can help you find your way back," Kurt answered with a smile; by now he was dying to know who this was Rachel was talking to, and how serious it was if she couldn't tell Finn.

"Okay, I'll see you two later then!" He replied, walking out of the restaurant with Blaine, who gave Rachel a look conveying him wishing her luck; Kurt was never particularly fond of Jesse, a fact Blaine knew, and it seemed luck was something she was going to need.

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><p>As soon as Kurt stepped inside his office, he turned to look at his best friend, "so, to put it bluntly, I'm assuming that you're having an affair."<p>

Rachel winced at the word 'affair'; that was exactly what it was, but the word made it sound so bad; it made her feel like she should have a red A inscribed on her clothing.

"Well… I guess so, I mean, I am seeing someone who obviously isn't Finn…" she started, not wanting to continue.

"How on earth did you meet someone in Lima, though?" He asked, trying to work things out on his own; he knew that most of the people from their class at McKinley were out of Lima now, so whoever it was she was seeing he had no idea of.

"Well I met him in Lima a few years ago when we were in high school, but now he's um… he's living in New York," she replied sheepishly.

"So that's why you're always on skype but not availabl…" his sentence cut off and his eyes widened coming to the realization of the person currently living in New York Rachel would actually put her marriage in jeopardy for. "You are not."

She nodded slowly before verbally answering him, "I am."

"But Rachel, I mean, I know you've always had a soft spot for him but really? Jesse St. Jackass?" He questioned.

She glared at the use of his nickname for Jesse, which caused Kurt to immediately apologize before she answered him.

"Well I suppose I ought to tell you that more happened the night I reconnected with Jesse…"

"Yeah I _suppose you ought to_," He said mimicking her, and crossing his arms.

Rachel sighed and went into the long explanation, "well what I told you was mostly true, but I'll just start at the beginning. Well, I waited by the stage door for him in a heard of people, and after what felt like an agonizing waiting period, although it probably wasn't that long, I started to turn around, but then all these girls started screaming and I knew it was him coming out. Then I turned around briefly and our eyes met; Kurt it was like _fate_.

He grabbed my playbill and wrote wait on it; it felt straight out of a movie. Anyway, so I made my way out of the crowd and waited for him to sign things and take pictures, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a cab since he had to get away quickly or else he'd be there all night. And well, you saw him during the show, he looks even better than he did in high school, not that that's why anything happened, it just… threw me off guard.

Then we went to some bar, as you know, and we did talk for a while; it was nice. We were laughing and smiling, and he was so sweet. Then of course the drinks started kicking in since I was so nervous and started drinking more than I should have. Plus, you know me when I'm drunk; I get all clingy and… well he was right in front of me and I kinda sorta kissed him."

She looked up at Kurt to see his reaction to her story so far; his face was, unfortunately, giving no hints as to his feelings on the matter. He raised an eyebrow, "and?"

Rachel sighed and continued, "And he was drunk too so when he grabbed my hand and mentioned his apartment was really close I didn't exactly object."

Kurt's eyes widened as much as they had when he learned who Rachel was having an affair with, "You didn't…?"

"Oh God no," she replied, shaking her head quickly. "The cab driver honked his horn loudly which kind of threw us back into reality. He left saying he understood and gave me money to get back to you and Blaine's place. I felt really bad about everything and I couldn't exactly let things end like that. I had to have closure, so later I texted him asking if he would meet me at central park."

"So long story short, you went to see him, the both of you got wasted, _almost _hooked up, and then met up the next day and he managed to sweep you off your feet because he's Jesse St. James and you're Rachel Berry and you always fall for him?" he asked.

Rachel sighed, "Yeah that's basically it. But he's so different now, Kurt. You'd like him, I promise you would."

"Look Rachel, I know things weren't going great with Finn, I could tell that the last time you visited, but this whole cheating thing isn't fair to any of you; I'm saying this as a friend to both you _and_ him. It's not fair to you because you're having to lie practically all the time, and I _know _that's something you hate; It's not fair to Finn because he thinks you love him as much as he loves you, and, I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's not fair to Jesse either; if he's anything like he used to be, the man's in love with you, and him having to share you is probably the worst thing in the world for him." He replied, sounding much more profound than Rachel thought he would over something like this.

"Why do you have to be right?" she asked with an overdramatic sigh.

"Because _I _am brilliant," he answered. Kurt walked over to Rachel and gave her a hug, "I promise I won't tell Finn, but I really do think you need to work things out. I love you, Rachel Berry, don't forget that."

Rachel smiled, "Thanks Kurt, and I love you too."

They left his studio hand-in-hand, Rachel never more relieved to have her best friend back in her life completely.


	15. Chapter 15

"So Kurt said things went well yesterday," Blaine stepped out onto the small balcony and handed Rachel a cup of coffee, "I saw you standing out here and thought I'd give you some company if you'd like it."

It was only eight in the morning, but most of the city below them had awakened by now; multiple cars honked, people bustled on the street, everything New York was known for. The sun was covered by a dark and cloudy sky, which didn't help make the cold March air any warmer. Rachel stood in her pajama pants and tee-shirt, her elbows leaning on the railing, and her eyes looking out at the city she knew and loved, pausing only to take the coffee and smile at Blaine.

"Have you ever had to make a decision that you knew either way your life would change completely, but you weren't sure which change was for the better?" Rachel asked, still looking out at the skyline.

Blaine mirrored her position and took a sip of his coffee to give himself a moment to think about her question. "I guess you could say that about me going to McKinley," he answered, "I was changing schools, leaving one I knew I'd be safe at, for one I knew my boyfriend had been repeatedly bullied at, all for my boyfriend. I knew Kurt and I wouldn't break up, but I did come up with the scenario that we would, and what would I do then? So one way I could've stayed at Dalton and lived safely, or transferred to McKinley on a chance; at the time either could have worked out, but in the end," he took a minute, for the first time fully realizing how much his life had truly changed his junior year, "if I hadn't transferred, I probably wouldn't be here living out my dreams.

Kurt inspired me. But to answer your question forwardly, yeah I think I have, but this is the kind of decision you have to make on your own. Kurt and I, as much as we would love to, can't tell you what to do; same goes for Finn and Jesse. You have to think about what's best for Rachel." He tapped her on the nose and smiled.

"I just wish it wasn't so hard," Rachel sighed, "do you think it's possible to be in love with two people at once?" She wasn't sure if she even was in love with Finn anymore, or if she ever had been, really. Before they had dated she always pined for him, seeking the popularity she so craved. Once they did start dating, at least in the beginning, it was just that _she _had him; not Quinn, not Santana (although she'd prefer Brittany anyway), _her. _She couldn't imagine she would have married him without loving him, but it seemed that she had fallen out of love with him quickly for someone who was supposed to be the love of her life.

Blaine furrowed his brow, "I guess so, but I don't think you can love two people fully if you're torn like that." He laughed and shook his head, "you know you're asking some awfully tough questions here, Miss Berry."

"I know, and I'm sorry, but thank you; I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have you through this, and now that I have Kurt, I don't feel like I deserve either of you," she smiled into her coffee.

"We're your best friends; it's what we're here for," he replied, smiling proudly. "Now, back to business, Kurt and I have found some open auditions you can go to, and even though I promised him I wouldn't show them to you until he got here, there's two I think you'd be perfect for."

"Can you at least tell me the names of them?" she begged, wondering what kind of shows she'd be auditioning for during the week.

"Well I'll give hints; one is for a certain Disney princess they're bringing back to Broadway, and the other has you paired with a gun."

"Me and a gun?" she asked, her eyebrow raised, "and you're sure that's a good idea? I'm not sure I could pull off murderer. Well, I _could_ pull it off, but I'm not sure it'd be very believable to my friends and family."

"Hmm... I think you could be a believable murderer," Blaine replied, attempting to look like he was seriously considering it.

"Oh shut up," she laughed, "where is Kurt, anyway?"

"Whisked away to another fashion show I'm afraid, but he'll be back soon, and the three of us can lovingly ditch Finn so you can learn the names of those musicals."

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><p>Somehow getting away from Finn had been easier than she thought it would be, and it almost scared her how good of liars Kurt and Blaine were, but when it was three actors against Finn, she almost felt bad for him.<p>

They went to a little coffee shop that closely resembled The Lima Bean, which was why she figured Kurt and Blaine liked it so much.

"Hey Rachel, I'm gonna get us coffee, what do you want?" Blaine asked while Kurt and Rachel located a small table located in the back, away from anyone else, even though the small café was mostly empty anyway.

"Oh I just want cappuccino with soy milk please," she answered. "He still knows your coffee order?" Rachel asked Kurt, and amused smile ghosting her lips.

"Of course he does," he scoffed, "and I still know his; I've told you before, we're an old married couple."

"Yeah but I didn't know you _still _were," she laughed. "Well we do still go off schedule," Kurt replied with a wink, causing both friends to burst out into giggles.

"Do I want to know what you're laughing about?" Blaine asked, handing the two the coffee's he had ordered.

"Not important," Kurt waved the question off, "Now the real reason we have ditched my stepbrother; these," he pulled out a folder loaded with papers she assumed were auditions.

"Do you have every show on Broadway in there?" she joked.

"Funny, but no, I have every audition this week, but it's mostly just full because I also have song ideas for said auditions, and pictures, and outfits you could wear," he answered while flipping through the sheets.

"This is the first of Blaine's two picks," Kurt pulled out a sheet of paper about an audition for Disney's Beauty and The Beast. He continued to pull out two more sheets, one with a song he thought she should audition for it with, and the other with a drawing of a shirt and skirt she already owned; she figured that was to be her audition outfit.

"Why are the clothes I audition in that important?" Rachel asked. "Never underestimate the importance of clothes," he eyed her like she had asked who Alexander McQueen was.

"_Anyway_ I'm partial to Beauty and The Beast because I think you'd make the perfect Belle," Blaine added, trying to move the conversation back to the auditions rather than a long explanation from Kurt as to why what she wore to the audition was one of the most important things.

"Well I would love to play the role of Belle, but aren't those big shoes to fill? I mean, a Disney princess?" She asked nervously.

Kurt shook his head, "I can't believe you're doubting yourself; are you sure you're Rachel Berry?" She opened her mouth to defend herself, but Kurt had already pulled out a few more sheets with other auditions him and Blaine had looked at together.

All of them had been okay; honestly none of them quite thrilled her, but Funny Girl had yet to make a revival, and most other shows she loved and would audition for were already on Broadway. The folder, once packed, was now down to its last few pages, and, since Blaine had never gotten overly excited about another show they had looked at, she assumed it was the one that paired her with a gun.

"And now for the Pièce de résistance," Kurt said while pulling the last few sheets out dramatically. "Blaine's got a friend from West Side Story, whose got a friend, who is directing an off-Broadway, that will of course end up on Broadway, hit titled Bonnie and Clyde."

Both Blaine and Kurt looked at her with excited smiles, waiting for a response. "Me? As Bonnie?" Rachel asked surprised at her friend's top pick.

"Bare with us, okay? It's going to be off Broadway, and we really think you have a shot of getting lead for this," Blaine pleaded.

After thinking about it for a minute, Rachel smiled at the both of them and asked what songs they thought she should audition with. Bonnie & Clyde might not have been her first choice, even though she didn't know much about it anyway, but maybe it would be the right thing for her. Of course, there were also the shows Jesse was going to tell her about on their date tomorrow, which may also seem right for her. She still worried about how Finn would react if she got cast in a show, let alone if he found out she auditioned for something, but at the moment, with Kurt and Blaine getting excited with every new show they mentioned, and with Jesse telling her that she was talented enough to do this, it was hard to think that this would be a bad thing.

**AN: Hello lovelies! I hope you enjoyed the chapter even though I do feel like I should've given you more (I promise the rest of New York will be jam packed). Also this fic broke 50 reviews which is absolutely amazing and just know that you all make my day with them :) **


	16. Chapter 16

Rachel ran out of Kurt and Blaine's loft quickly after scribbling a note to Finn saying she promised Kurt and Blaine she'd run a few errands for them since they were busy. She hoped he wouldn't question why he couldn't run the errands with her, but she figured she'd lied so much already that coming up with more wouldn't be that hard.

Walking out of the building she let out an annoyed sigh; already she was going to be late for her first audition, or she assumed she'd be late. She had fifteen minutes to get halfway across town, and the business of the city was already in full-swing.

Thinking that if she grabbed a taxi she'd get caught in traffic, Rachel began weaving in and out of the crowd on the sidewalk, making her way as quickly as possible to her audition. Much to her surprise, she had made it right on time; there were more than a few people there, so she probably could have been late, but she did prefer to be punctual.

She sat in one of the chairs, her knees bobbing up and down while she hummed her audition song quietly. Due to her being late she didn't have time to warm up her vocals, which did cause her to be nervous, but this wasn't one of the shows she cared deeply about getting into. It was some low-key, off-Broadway production; it was supposed to be a comedy, but the jokes didn't really appeal to her, and, although she did want to be in a musical and out of Lima, she really hoped this wouldn't be the one to take her out.

"Rachel Berry?" She looked up hearing her name and smiled at the man who had called her name out. Her nerves began to grew, but she continued to walk with her head high towards the door.

The audition went smoother than she expected; they asked a few questions, she handed the accompanist her sheet music, she sang, and that was it. The people there seemed to have liked her, and, even though it was a show she wasn't that excited about, it gave her hope that the people at her other auditions would like her as well.

By the time everything was over, she walked out of the building and, looking through the glass door of the building she had just left, located a clock ; it was a little after noon. She didn't have to be at Jesse's until 5, so she decided to go back to the apartment and see what Finn was up to; leaving him alone so much gave her a terrible feeling of guilt, even if it was her decision to leave him alone in the first place.

"Finn?" She walked into the loft, looking around. Finn sat on the couch watching TV, and she began to feel bad for him; here they were in the greatest city in the world, and he sat doing the same thing he would do at home.

"Oh hey Rach, I saw your note, did you get whatever it was you needed?" He looked up at her, not even phased by her lie or by the fact he was doing nothing.

"Yeah, I got it. Did you wanna get something to eat for lunch?" Rachel looked down at her hands awkwardly, even though Finn didn't seem to be feeling the awkward at all.

"Sure! I saw this great steakhouse on our way over here on our first day," Finn answered excitedly, a wide grin covering his features.

"uh I'm a vegan, remember?" She sighed, "but I'm sure they have some vegan dishes, or I could get a salad if all else fails…"

Finn smiled and draped his arm over her shoulders while they walked towards the restaurant he had mentioned. She still had plenty of time to get to Jesse's later, but she was nervous about how lunch would go with Finn. By now it almost felt like cheating to be with him, which was twisted since he was the man she was married to, but the feeling in her chest from being with him and not Jesse was so overwhelming at times.

"So where are Kurt and Blaine?" Finn asked trying to make conversation in the midst of their silence that had only been broken by the waiter bringing them their food.

"Oh Kurt's at his office since he has to have like, five more outfits by some deadline that's coming up, and Blaine's at rehearsal since opening night is Saturday," she answered, stabbing a cucumber with her fork. As she had suspected, the steakhouse wasn't exactly vegan-friendly, but Finn had wanted to come here and she was not in the mood to argue.

He nodded and the two fell back into silence, not having anything to talk about. It amazed her how they had dated for so many years and never once come across this kind of problem. She was too proud of her victory of having Finn to look back and realize that they honestly had nothing in common. They hardly ever got into deep discussions about something both cared about; not like her and Jesse, anyway.

"Oh I forgot to tell you, remember that woman I stayed with last time we came here? She wanted to have dinner tonight, so looks like you, Blaine, and Kurt, are going to have to eat without me." By now she was past the point of being surprised at how easily lying came to her; it was just protocol.

"That's cool, uh tell her I said hi, she's knows who I am, right?" His brow furrowed trying to place who this woman was Rachel was meeting earlier. She was probably someone he had met at the wedding, but he just couldn't put a face or name together. "What did you say her name was again?"

"Jessica," she answered quickly; in hindsight it probably would have been better to pick something further away from Jesse but it was the first thing she thought of, and Finn putting pieces together wasn't something she could see happening. He nodded in response and kept quiet in concentration; he had given up asking questions for fear of upsetting Rachel that he still didn't know who this woman was, but his thoughts were still trying to place whoever this Jessica was.

* * *

><p>Rachel nervously knocked on the door to Jesse's loft that much resembled Kurt and Blaine's; the only exception being his was more modern. Although she knew no one else was in the hallway, she felt the need to knock quickly, nervous that someone <em>would<em> see her. If her marriage was going to fall apart she would much rather it be from her own doing rather than someone else's.

"You look beautiful," Jesse smiled at her and held the door open, allowing her to come in. By now she was accustomed to trying to dress nicer on the days she knew she'd see him. At first it was something she hated to admit, but this was a date, so why wouldn't she wear nicer clothes than usual?

"Do you just enjoy not telling me what we're doing on these dates? You know this is probably our fifth one and every time I never know what we're doing," she looked at him amusedly. Looking ahead at his apartment, she noticed the dining room table, usually cluttered with sheet music and coffee cups, was now clad with a tablecloth, candles, the works. "Oh Jesse, is this for us?"

"Turns out that years of being forced to go to country clubs ended up coming in handy; not to mention I'm a pretty decent cook, so, yes, this is for us" he answered before kissing her on the cheek and walking back into the kitchen.

"Do you need me to help you with anything?" she asked, bouncing into the kitchen behind him.

"Everything's almost done, but if you want to take that off the stove," he motioned towards a pot that looked like it was about to boil over. Rachel quickly removed it from atop the stove and placed it on the island sitting in the middle of the kitchen.

After finishing up cooking dinner together, a task that consisted of random duets and lots of laughing, they sat down at the table that was decorated in the most cliché, yet still romantic, way.

They started out just talking about how things had been while they were apart; although the conversation wasn't deeply personal or anything, it did continue, and eventually things flowed towards auditions. Jesse mentioned he was starting to audition now too; even though he could take a small break with the money he'd made off Wicked, he had told her that he didn't want to sit around when he could be making a bigger name for himself. He pulled out a folder, much like the one Kurt had, only smaller and not filled with outfits.

They moved to the couch so they could sit next to each other easily, and Rachel leaned her head on his shoulder. After a while, they had made it through all the audition sheets he collected for her and just sat quietly, listening to music and simply being thankful to be in the other's arms again.

"It's getting late; I should probably head back to Kurt and Blaine's," she stood up from the couch reluctantly and sighed. Jesse's hand caught her wrist, and she collapsed back down next to him; even the littlest persuasion was enough to make her consider spending the night. "You're not staying?" He asked.

Rachel bit her lip feeling guilty with whichever option she chose; one way she was ignoring her friends and husband, given they had her the rest of the week, and the other way she was ignoring who she was now convinced to be the love of her life, who she only got to see in person a few times. "I only told them I was having dinner with my dads friend… Won't it be suspicious if I randomly decide to stay?"

"Well Blaine knows about us, so he'd cover for you right?" he shrugged, "you know Hudson's gullible enough to believe you though, anyway."

"Kurt knows too now," she added.

"I'll bet he was thrilled," Jesse mumbled; Kurt had never really been fond of Jesse and because of that, the feeling was mutual.

"He warmed up to it, slightly anyway," Rachel said optimistically. That seemed to be the one of the smaller issues on her list of problems, her boyfriend and best friend didn't like each other all that much; maybe that was something Blaine could help her with… "He and Blaine both like you though, at least a little."

"And why is that?" He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes full of amusement and a smile to match.

"It might have something to do with how happy you make me," Rachel answered, smiling broadly. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers. "That's my job."

She stayed quiet for a minute, choosing her next words carefully. "Do you really think Finn would believe me if I said I was staying with my dad's friend?" Her original plans were starting to sound less enjoyable than the prospect of spending the night with Jesse.

"I'm positive he will." How could he not? Finn was naïve; it was just a part of his personality.

"Then hold on," she walked over to her purse to call Kurt and Blaine's place to tell them she was staying with "her dads friend", but quickly realized she had left it back at their place. "Shit," she mumbled. "Can I borrow your phone? I must've left mine at Kurt and Blaine's."

"Yeah it's on that desk over there," he pointed towards a desk cluttered with sheet music and scripts, his laptop sitting under most of it in the center, and a phone off to the side.

Rachel waited impatiently as the dial tone continued; wanting nothing more than someone to answer so she could get back to her evening. "Hey guys, I, uh, I guess you're at dinner, but I just wanted you to know that I'm staying with my dad's friend tonight since she offered… I'll be home sometime tomorrow," she placed the phone back down onto the desk after leaving the message.

"Looks like I'm all yours tonight," she flopped onto the couch next to Jesse, who placed his arm around her, nuzzling her neck, "Good."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: As always, I hope you liked this chapter, but either way I'm fairly certain most of you are going to love the next one (because I'm super excited to write it).<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: I am so so sorry this took so long! School has officially gotten crazy and my free time has gone down to 0. I do hope you like this, though!**

* * *

><p>Rachel looked up at a still-sleeping Jesse; she already knew last night would end up being her favorite day she spent in New York when it came time for her to go back home, well, that was if she did end up going home. Even if she was cast in a show she suspected she'd have to go back to Lima to gather some of her things, but whether or not that would be with Finn she was unsure about, and she knew for a fact if she was cast she would leave Lima without looking back.<p>

The man next to her stirred, his eyes opening slowly as sleep attempted take hold of him again. "You know you could have woken me up," Jesse smiled.

She crinkled her nose in disagreement, "you looked far too cute for me to disturb you."

"I thought I looked cute all the time," he raised an eyebrow.

"Only when you're not talking, sweetheart," she teased, followed by kissing him quickly and standing up to begin her morning routine for performances or anything she wanted to make sure her voice was properly warmed up for.

After a minute of searching, she managed to locate a mug, and one of the cups of tea for the fancy coffee machine he had. She stared at the appliance as it gurgled and sputtered while heating the water for her drink. Jesse came up to her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing a kiss on her shoulder, "So let's see, after this you're going to do the face routine, followed by showering, then singing a little– not too much to strain your vocals, but enough to warm them up, then drink more of this?"

Rachel nodded approvingly, "you remembered my schedule?" she asked quietly, although it was more of an astonished observation than question.

"Of course I did," he replied smugly. She turned around to kiss him, overtaken that such trivial things to other people were the things he remembered. "What was that for?" Jesse asked amusedly.

She shrugged, not sure how to put all her feelings into a simple explanation. The coffee maker behind them lit up to show that it was ready for the tea it was going to brew. Jesse put the tea cup into the machine while Rachel stayed facing him and smiling.

The rest of their morning had remained much like the start of it; Jesse helped Rachel with warming up her vocals, although most of their time was spent goofing off.

"I have to go now or else I'll be late," she sighed. Rachel sat on the couch with his arms around her; she didn't want to leave just yet, but she knew she needed to.

"Which audition do you have this morning?"

"Today is Beauty and the Beast; tomorrow is Bonnie and Clyde." She was nervous about Beauty and the Beast more than anything. It was a popular musical, and Disney itself was a huge company; if she doubted her own talent for any of these shows, that was it.

Jesse nodded, "I have to agree with Blaine and Kurt about Bonnie and Clyde; I think it'd be a good one for you."

"Why?" She furrowed her brow, "I'm not sure I could pull off Bonnie."

"Hmm… A hopeful actress that falls in love with a bad boy?" he said, "sounds a lot like a girl I know."

"Yeah but that girl didn't fall for a bank robber, and she certainly has never handled a gun," Rachel replied.

"I still think you'd be able to do it; besides, you were Maria, and I don't think you've ever been tangled up in gangs in New York City." Jesse shrugged, "but you can handle a whole lot, Rachel, I don't understand why you keep doubting yourself like that."

She kept quiet, not wanting to think about how little she thought of her own talents now. She knew she was destined for Broadway, even with a somewhat late start, but being in Lima for so long could take a toll on one's self-esteem.

He hooked his finger under her chin, making her eyes meet his, "Hey, don't ever forget how talented you are. You're ten times better than half the people I've met while working on Broadway and if there's anyone that deserves it, it's you."

Rachel smiled softly, "I actually do have to go, I don't want to be late for my audition; this is one of the big ones, after all."

Jesse nodded in response and kissed her softly, "you want me to go with you?" She shook her head, "as much as I want you there, I'd rather not have a bunch of hopeful actresses trying to hit on you in hopes of landing a role somewhere," she replied.

"You know I only have eyes for one hopeful actress," he said.

"You better."

He walked her down to the cab he had called for her ahead of time; this morning had gone by far smoother than the one before, and she actually believed she could get cast for this, or, at least, get a callback.

* * *

><p>The amount of people at the Beauty and the Beast audition had to have been at least three times the amount of people at the first audition she went to, which only made Rachel's doubts about getting the part significantly higher.<p>

The moment she began singing though, her nerves and doubts began to melt away. The director and whoever else at the audition watching her seemed less interested than the director for the previous show, since they had probably seen the same thing a million times before her, but she was proud with what she had done and knew that she had a chance at receiving a callback.

Rachel dug through her purse in search of her key to Kurt and Blaine's; they had decided that it was time she had her own key since if she was going to start acting, she'd need a place to stay.

Inside the place, Finn was messing around in the kitchen, and she went to stand by the bar to look at him. "Hey where are Kurt and Blaine?"

"They're out," he answered flippantly, not looking at her.

"Oh okay, so what are we doing today?" She smiled brightly.

"Do you really think I'm that dumb, Rachel?" He finally looked up at her, his face reading the same amount of hurt and anger as the time he accused her as cheating.

_He knew_. Rachel had no idea how he did, but he did. "You know I don't think you're dumb."

"So you've been cheating on me because I'm so smart you knew you could get away with it?"

"Finn, we've talked about this, I'm not cheating on you," she answered, hoping that she could lie her away out of this again.

"Oh no you're right, sorry." She let out a breath of relief. "You're lying to me too." Relief gone.

"What are you–"

"You got a callback for that show you auditioned for yesterday, by the way; apparently they really liked you. Oh, and I hope you had fun with Jesse."

"How do you…?"

"You thought everything else out; I'm surprised you completely forgot that Kurt and Blaine have caller ID."

That shut her up. How could she have forgotten something so trivial?

"And you auditioned for a show? What the hell?! We talked about this, Rachel; we have a life back in Lima."

"No, _you_ have a life in Lima! I have nothing back there!" she cried out.

"Well I used to think you had me, but I guess I wasn't good enough for you, was I? Out of any guy to cheat on me with you had to pick him, didn't you?" He spat out angrily.

"It wasn't like that!" she pleaded.

"I loved you," his demeanor had slowly drifted into pain rather than anger.

"And you don't anymore?" she asked shocked.

"Do _you_ love me anymore?"

His question was met with silence. Honestly, Rachel wasn't sure. She did when they first got married, but things had changed since then. She had fallen in love with Jesse, and possibly- no definitely, fallen out of love with Finn.

"That's what I thought," he answered bitterly, "just do me a favor and don't come back to Lima with me."

"What am I supposed to do then?" The reality that her marriage was crumbling in front of her eyes was starting to hit her and tears slowly poured down her cheeks.

"I don't know, call your boyfriend?" he shook his head and grabbed his suitcase he had clearly packed while she was gone. She started to wonder if he was planning to leave before she got back. She stood there crying, words unable to be spoken while he walked out the door. The ring that was on her finger now seemed like a cruel reminder of the argument they just had, and she ripped it off, throwing it at the closed door.

What was she supposed to do? Her marriage was over, her friends were nowhere to be seen, and her boyfriend was probably going to be at rehearsals soon. Unable to come up with any other way to settle her grief, Rachel went somewhere she could be alone, despite people around her.

* * *

><p>Jesse changed into his black t-shirt and basketball shorts, getting ready to run like he did every day; the choreography in Wicked was not easy, but it was not like the workout he used to get from Vocal Adrenaline during his high school days, and he still wanted to stay in shape. Not to mention running was one of the only ways he could clear his mind and get all his thoughts out.<p>

He had wanted to call Rachel to see how her Beauty and the Beast audition had gone, but he knew that if Finn was around and saw the call everything they had might be over. She knew that he loved her, but he had yet to know if she loved him more than her husband or not. Having her in his life was more than he ever imagined would happen, but this whole sharing thing was getting hard to deal with.

As he headed around the corner near the fountain he met Rachel at the day they decided to start this whole thing, he noticed a familiar brunette sitting on a bench.

"Rachel?"

She looked up and was thankful it was Jesse; she had wanted to call him but wasn't sure if he'd be at Wicked yet or not. Rachel wiped her eye and smiled softly, though it was hollow.

"Hey, Jesse."

He sat down and put his arm around her, bringing her close to him, "what happened?" he kissed the top of her head, suddenly concerned.

"Re-Remember when I used your phone to call Kurt and Blaine's place?" she shut her eyes tightly, leaning her head on his chest.

"Oh no," Jesse knew already what had happened; he couldn't help but feel responsible for not thinking of that before letting her use his phone.

"And now Finn is god only knows where and I'm pretty sure he wants a divorce; no, scratch that– I'm positive he wants a divorce."

He hated seeing her like this; she was so upset and the only thing he could do was hold her and tell her things would be okay, which may or may not make her less sad.

Jesse rubbed her back and quietly shushed her, "hey it's okay, you and New York are too good for him, anyway." She laughed quietly at that, which brought a gentle smile to his face.

Rachel opened her eyes and watched the world moving around them; not one person had looked twice at the couple sitting on the bench, everything just seemed to continue on. Her sight fell on the fountain in front of them and she remembered the moment she made the wish before Jesse walked up to her.

"It came true," she whispered quietly in shock.

"What came true?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Remember the first time we came here together? I made a wish and you asked what it was, but I wouldn't tell you?"

"Of course I remember."

"Well I wished that we could be together again; that I could feel the confidence and happiness I had never felt with anyone else, and it came true.

I love you, Jesse." she looked up at him.

He looked at her, not sure if he had heard her correctly. A wide smile covered his features as he looked into her eyes, knowing that what she said was true. "I love you too, Rachel." he replied, bringing his lips down to meet hers gently.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: as my attempt to make you all not hate me for taking months to update, I gave you some interactions of the slight sexual variety (if you do not wish to read such things, skip this chapter, you won't miss any serious things plot-wise). ALSO GUYS IM SO SORRY PLEASE STILL LOVE ME IF YOU DID BEFORE I PROMISE I WON'T TAKE SO LONG ANYMORE!**

A little while after their run-in at the park, Jesse tugged Rachel's hand, pulling her behind him as he quietly opened the back door of the Gershwin Theater.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Rachel whispered, smiling despite the fact that she was nervous about sneaking around backstage.

"Oh yeah. Everyone in the cast knows about you, plus Samantha loves you and she hasn't even met you, so you have at least three people backing you up." Jesse turned around to look at her and give her a reassuring smile before quickly continuing on to his dressing room.

"Three?"

"Yeah, don't forget Scott."

"Right."

Finally making it to the dressing room, Rachel looked around and took in every aspect. The walls were painted a soft yellow that was pale now due to its years. Along one wall was a small powder blue loveseat, and along another a large vanity with various pictures taped to the mirror –Jesse with friends, one with Samantha, another with Scott, a picture of him and Rachel from high school that she was surprised he still had, and one with a girl she recognized as the actress playing Glinda; in the shot, the girl had her arm wrapped around Jesse's waist and Rachel began to wonder if they had dated in the past.

Jesse grabbed his first costume off the rack that was pushed against the wall across from the loveseat, and began changing while Rachel took a seat.

"So this is what a star's dressing room looks like," Rachel smirked.

Jesse laughed and shook his head, "glamorous, isn't it?"

There was a knock on the door and Jesse began tucking his white shirt into his brown (and surprisingly tight) pants before opening the door to the visitor.

"Hey Jesse! I was just coming to–" Rachel immediately recognized Samantha. "Ohmygodyoudidn'ttellmeRachelwashere!" Clearly Samantha had recognized her as well.

Rachel smiled and stood up to put her hand out or at least something to introduce herself with, but Samantha already had her arms around the brunette in a hug.

"Sorry I'm not usually this excited but you don't know how long I've waited to see Jesse finally be with someone that makes him bearable to be around," she said with a laugh, turning around to look at Jesse who shook his head.

Rachel laughed, trying to take in everything the girl was saying. She was completely in her Elphaba make-up and wig, and Rachel was finding it slightly difficult to take her seriously.

"Oh no, it's so great to finally meet you. Plus it'd be nice to know some girls living in New York City for a change."

"Oh we'll totally do lunch or something! You can get my number from Jesse's phone and just call me anytime, okay?" She turned around to head out before remembering what she actually came to do, "oh yeah, Jesse showtime's in about ten minutes so get ready."

Samantha closed the door behind her, but popped in right after doing so. "And Rachel?"

Rachel tilted her head, slightly confused, but asked, "yeah?"

"I'm sorry about the whole fake dating thing. I know it's water under the bridge for you two, but I wanted to apologize personally."

The brunette smiled at the sincerity. _Maybe I'll finally have a friend that's a girl in this town, _Rachel thought thankfully. "Thanks, Samantha."

Samantha nodded with a smile and finally left.

"I have never seen her act like that," Jesse thought aloud with a smile.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked before taking her seat again on the loveseat.

"I don't know… she was just so… excited and… girly," he answered, trying to find the right adjective to describe however Samantha had just acted.

"Maybe this place needs some more girls, then," she replied with a smile.

"Well then I guess you should come around more often," Jesse said with a wink, making his way over to take a seat next to Rachel.

"I think I might," Rachel said, biting her lip. Jesse moved in to kiss her hard, her lips parting instantly and a soft whimper escaping her lips. His hand quickly making its way to cup her breast while the other one rested on her lower back, pulling her closer to him. He slowly pulled away, drawing out the kiss as long as possible before moving his mouth to her neck, leaving a hickey he knew would be there plain as day. He wanted people to know she was his. Not Finn's. Not anyone else's. His.

She lowered herself so that she was now lying across the loveseat with him on top of her. She was still wearing a dark blue dress that brought the olive tone of her skin out perfectly, yet despite that Jesse was growing desperate to have her not dressed in anything at all. He took his hand away from her lower back, slipping it under her dress, carefully removing the lacey underwear she was wearing. Under normal circumstances, Rachel would have tensed, or stopped, but just one touch from Jesse made her body quiver and she never wanted it to end. She leaned her head back and shut her eyes, a slightly loud moan leaving her lips at the feeling of Jesse slipping a finger inside of her. At first he moved it slowly, drawing out every sound and movement she was making, but unable to wait any longer, he slipped another finger inside and began rubbing her clit quickly. "Oh –oh my god," Rachel breathed out. This was like nothing she had ever felt before. Nothing with Finn could compete with this. "Jesse it feels so–" Her breath hitched as his fingers began going faster and faster. He loved the sound of his name on her lips, the feeling of her body around him, everything in this moment was perfect; the only thing left was… Rachel screamed as her orgasm hit her. Jesse began slowing down the movement of his fingers before removing them completely as Rachel's breathing began to slow down to a normal pace.

"Wow," she sighed, opening her eyes and looking up at Jesse.

Her kissed her –softly this time– and smiled, "just wait 'till tonight," he winked. God, he wished they could have done more just then, but with the orchestra already beginning to warm up, and Rachel's loud behavior, he knew they would not be able to do anything he really wanted.

"Can't you stay?" she whined.

Jesse shook his head, "You have no idea how much I want to."

Rachel cupped the back of his neck, bringing him down to kiss her again. She did not want him to leave, but she knew he had to and she didn't want to stop him. "Go kill it, Fiyero," she said, smiling.

Jesse smiled back at her and began to leave the room. "I love you, Rachel." He smiled knowing that she was now completely his.

She wasn't just some girl. She was Rachel Berry, and this time he wasn't going to screw anything up.

**A/N: also I'm really sorry if the smut sucks, I've never actually written it in a fic before, just some rp-ing here and there. **


	19. Chapter 19

"Are you sure you don't want to stay over tonight?" Jesse gave her hand a light squeeze. He had taken his final bow only moments ago, and now they stood outside his dressing room.

Rachel knew he was worried about how she was feeling; her marriage, no matter how unstable, had just ended, and no one would be okay after that. She smiled softly and nodded, "yeah, I'll be fine. I'm sure Kurt and Blaine are worried about what happened since Finn's stuff is gone and my ring's on the floor."

"Think you could pawn that thing?" Jesse asked with a slight smile.

"You are terrible," she elbowed him lightly and laughed.

He had missed that, her laughter. It felt like he was hearing it for the first time, even though he had heard it plenty during their dates. Now she looked as if she felt like she could do anything, be anything; that was all he ever wanted her to feel. He looked at her and smiled, taking on a more serious tone.

"Just promise me you'll call if anything happens, or if you just need me," he said.

Rachel smiled in return, "I promise." She lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly, "have fun signing playbills!" she joked.

Jesse rolled his eyes, "don't I always?"

Rachel laughed and walked towards the exit that she knew wouldn't have people waiting for the actors to sign their playbills. Although she really wasn't in the mood to go over everything that happened with Finn earlier, she knew Kurt and Blaine deserved to know, and confiding in them always made her feel better.

* * *

><p>"Have you heard from Finn or Rachel?" Kurt called out from the kitchen.<p>

Blaine muted the TV and shrugged, "I don't know, it seemed weird that neither of them would be here."

Kurt walked out of the kitchen carrying a sheet of paper with the number of their favorite take-out place in one hand, and their house phone in the other. He sat next to Blaine on the couch. "Maybe they went on a date," he sighed.

Blaine shrugged, catching a glimpse of something shine at the same moment. "What's that?" he motioned towards the spot on the floor.

Kurt stopped dialing the number of the place to walk over and see what Blaine was talking about. "Isn't this Rachel's wedding ring?" He picked it up and handed it to Blaine.

"Yeah…" Blaine looked up at his boyfriend in horror, "what if he found out about Jesse?"

"How would he?" Kurt asked, "Rachel's too smart to slip up."

"But she's never been sane around Jesse, has she?" Blaine grabbed his cell phone to check if Rachel had called or texted. A picture of Blaine and Kurt smiled right back at him –no messages, no calls, nothing. He was not sure if that made him nervous or not.

"I'll call her," Kurt said, in an attempt to reassure Blaine. He had a feeling Rachel would be with Jesse, but they were her best friends and regardless he wanted to check on her.

In the same fashion as her boyfriend, Rachel managed to take an accidental perfect cue, walking in as Kurt was about to hit the call button.

"Rachel what happened oh my God," Blaine said quickly, getting off the couch in seconds.

"It's going take a bit of an explanation so if the two of you wanted to sit down that's fine with me," Rachel said sheepishly. She knew she probably should have left a note or something, but at the time she was too distressed to think about that.

Blaine and Kurt sat down on the couch not saying a word. Rachel sat on the coffee table, looking at the both of them whenever her eyes were not staring down at her lap.

She took a deep sigh before diving into it, "well for the majority of Jesse and I's dates, I often told Finn that I was visiting a female friend of my dads.

For a while it worked perfectly… I'm not sure if I should be proud of that fact or not. Anyway, so there was one date –yesterday, where I planned on going home after we had dinner or whatever we were going to do. Then, I decided it wouldn't be _that _bad if I spent the night at Jesse's.

So, since I had accidentally left my phone here that day, I asked Jesse if I could borrow his. I'm so used to cell phones I guess I forgot the whole caller id thing." She laughed at her own moment of stupidity –not bitterly, or overly happy, just a small chuckle at the situation.

Rachel continued, "Finn didn't answer, so I left a message, and I hadn't realized that he knew until I got here the next day –or today, rather. He was _so _beyond upset, which I guess you already assumed he would be. I think he planned on leaving before I had even returned; I walked in to see his bags already packed. We argued, and he told me not to come home with him.

He also found out about me auditioning for shows, which didn't help the situation either. He didn't say anything about a divorce, but I can't imagine him not wanting one after all this; I can't say I haven't been thinking about it for a while, anyway."

She remained quiet, staring at the doorway where it all happened, replaying the memory in her head. "I'm still not sure why I threw my ring at the door," Rachel said quietly, "it felt right, I guess." There was no regret in her voice, only amusement at her own action.

"How are you feeling now?" Blaine asked, not really sure what else to say.

Rachel shrugged; she honestly had no idea. "Fine, I guess. I kind of feel numb, and strangely relieved, which I know I shouldn't be feeling," she replied. Who feels relief when their marriage ends? Rachel felt worse about what she was feeling than her actual marriage being over.

"Rachel you were never really happy in that relationship," Kurt noted, "it isn't surprising you feel kind of relieved."

Rachel smiled; Kurt and Blaine were always going to save the day (not that Jesse had not helped, he definitely made her feel better too).

"I vote we eat Chinese take-out and watch cliché romantic comedies," Kurt announced.

Blaine smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek, "I second that notion."

Rachel's smile grew wide and she nodded, "I'll be right back, I'm going to change." For a brief moment she thought about telling the two of them what happened after she left the loft, but that seemed to be better left between her and Jesse.

She popped back into the living room, now wearing her favorite pajamas, and sat onto the couch to the right of Kurt. "So what are we starting with?"

Kurt scanned through the movies he had laid out across the table. "Say Anything?" he offered.

"Works for me," Blaine answered with a shrug.

"Sounds perfect," Rachel smiled.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: **20 chapters are you kidding me? Holy shit! Wow sorry but this is my longest fic and it's pretty exciting! Anywhoo, enjoy it!

* * *

><p>For the first morning in a while, Rachel woke up alone. It was strange at first —expecting to look over and see someone, but being faced with nothing instead. After getting out of bed, she threw on sweatpants and headed towards the kitchen.<p>

Kurt stood alone in the middle of the room making coffee, a tired look on his face. "Where's Blaine?" Rachel yawned out.

"Tired?" Kurt asked with a laugh, "I'm not sure, he said he had to do something important."

Too tired to think anything of it, Rachel walked over to the coffee machine to check the progress of the drink being made. "Do you have to go down to the office today?" she asked politely; the focus had been on her life so much recently, she thought it fair to learn about Kurt's once more.

"Yeah, I should probably go down and work on my new line of evening gowns and tuxes," Kurt replied. "You should go with me sometime, try on some stuff."

Rachel smiled earnestly, "that sounds great; I loved seeing your stuff last time we went down there."

Hearing the coffee pot finish its constant gurgling sounds, Rachel handed Kurt two mugs, which he filled nearly to the brim with the warm drink.

Rachel savored her first sip, wondering why on earth she felt so tired this morning. She stared at her coffee thinking of the past few days –Finn leaving, being in Jesse's dressing room, her movie marathon with Kurt and Blaine, there were so many events it felt like it had been an entire month.

"Uh, Rachel? I think your phone's ringing," Kurt interrupted her thoughts.

"What? Oh, thanks," she responded, grabbing her phone and reading the number. Rachel wondered why a number she didn't recognize would be calling her at eight thirty in the morning, but curiosity got the better of her and she answered it.

"_Hello?" _

"_Rachel? Hey I'm so sorry I know this is probably weird I got your number from Jesse." _

"_Samantha?" _

"_Did I forget to say that? Oh whoops, anyway, I figured you might need some girl time and thought maybe we could get our nails done? I know we aren't that great of friends, but I figured you don't know many people in the city and might want to hang out."_

"_Yeah that sounds great!" _

Rachel was surprised by Samantha's niceness. In high school Rachel was never anyone's first pick for a friend, at least not until people got to know her, but this girl was acting like Rachel was one of the best people in the world.

"_Cool! Would you mind meeting me at the theatre? There's a little nail place down the street and I'm not sure where your friend's apartment is, or I'd come find you." _

"_Yeah, I'll meet you there! What time?"_

"_How about ten?" _

"_Sounds great, see you then."_

"_Bye!" _

Rachel hung up and looked at Kurt, who looked at her with confusion.

"That was Samantha, the girl who plays Elphaba in Wicked," she informed him.

"When did the two of you become friends?" Kurt asked with general curiosity. He never heard Rachel talk about her much, and was surprised to learn of their friendship.

"I'm not really sure," Rachel responded, "I think she needs a girl friend, and I don't know many people in the city, so I guess it makes sense.

I better go shower and get dressed, I'll see you later?"

Kurt smiled and nodded, "see you later."

* * *

><p>It was unreasonably warm for March, and Rachel was determined to take full advantage of the change in temperature; she left the loft wearing a red-haltered summer dress, one of her favorite clothing items. She hoped that maybe today meant spring would be coming earlier this year. Spring usually meant new beginnings, and Rachel felt she was in need of one.<p>

When the taxi reached the Gershwin, she immediately recognized Samantha standing in front of the theatre. Rachel waved to the blonde and smiled.

"Awesome you made it!" Samantha exclaimed happily, "the place is right down here, it's maybe a two minute walk, if that."

Rachel followed her down the street, making easy, simple conversation. When they reached the nail place, though, Rachel had grown curious about her newfound friend.

"So how did you get onto Broadway?" Rachel asked as both of them took seats in the large, plush chairs for people getting pedicures.

"Well I grew up in this little town in Virginia, thinking I was going to play softball. My older brother was obsessed with baseball, see, and I was determined to be just like him," Samantha laughed at the memories coming back to her, "then my freshman year I injured my wrist pretty bad, meaning that I was unable to play softball, or any sport really. It was actually kind of a blessing, looking back on it. With nothing else to do, I auditioned for the school musical, realized I could sing, and began to grow a love for it. I started taking singing classes, dance classes, acting classes, eventually I made it into Tisch. Sometime during my years there some new director came to the school looking to see if he could cast anyone for some off-Broadway show, and somehow he casted me."

She looked over at Rachel to see if she had bored the other girl to death; Samantha was hardly used to talking about herself so much. "Sorry I guess I kind of dragged on longer about my childhood than my actual Broadway experience."

Rachel shook her head immediately, "oh no, I loved hearing about it. I won't get my start while at Tisch, obviously, but I have one last audition coming up and hopefully it goes well."

Samantha's face light up hearing that Rachel was starting to audition for stuff, "oh what show?"

"Well I've already auditioned for some new show off-Broadway, and Beauty and The Beast, and tomorrow I've got one for Bonnie and Clyde," Rachel replied.

"Oh I've heard about Bonnie and Clyde! It's Wildhorn, right?" Samantha asked.

"Yeah! I'm nervous about it, but a few of my friends think it's a good idea so I'm going for it," Rachel looked down at her hands nervously.

"I'm sure you'll do great," Samantha assured her, "to be honest, I looked up your performance of Don't Rain on My Parade at some glee club competition, and you for sure have the talent."

Rachel blushed slightly and smiled, "thanks. So what are you doing after Wicked?"

"I'm not quite sure yet. Scott keeps asking me to go on the Wicked tour, but I love New York too much. I'm thinking of writing a little, maybe," Samantha replied.

"Thanks for hanging out, by the way. Sometimes it gets a little boring not having many girl friends," the blonde continued.

"What about the girl who plays Glinda?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Oh we don't get along very well… things got a little weird after her and Jesse had a thing," Samantha responded, forgetting that Jesse may have never mentioned that before.

"They had a thing?" Rachel asked.

"Well, it was strange, really. She _really _liked Jesse, and he tried to date her, but I don't think he ever liked her as much as she liked him," Samantha explained, "anyway, she was really upset when Jesse broke it off with her, and sometimes she blamed me for it, so I just kind of leave her alone."

Rachel crinkled her eyebrows, "is that why Jesse has a picture of them in his dressing room?" She wondered if Jesse could still harbor feelings for the other girl, but according to Samantha's description of the relationship it did not seem like an issue.

"Yeah," Samantha answered, "he never spends much time in there, so he probably just forgot to ever take it down. I have to say, though, the picture of the two of you never failed to piss her off." She laughed at the memories.

"I didn't even realize he still had that," Rachel said amazed.

Samantha smiled, "as his friend, I feel obligated to thank you. I've never seen him so happy until the two of you got together."

Rachel smiled; she never realized the kind of impact she made on Jesse's life. It was strange to think that someone out there could be happier just because of her, could love her. It was something she never thought she would have in high school.

Before she realized it, both girls' nails were done, and they now headed out of the nail place.

"So I hear you're coming to closing night tomorrow?" Samantha asked.

"Yeah!" Rachel smiled, "I'm bringing my two friends, Kurt and Blaine, so hopefully you'll get to meet them." She could imagine Samantha getting along with them well.

"Sounds great! I'll see you then," the blonde waved a small goodbye and walked into the Gershwin theatre.

* * *

><p>After hanging out with Samantha, Rachel felt like she was ready to take New York City. She had two best friends, one amazing boyfriend, and a girl who was already on her way to being another one of her best friends. What more could she need in this city?<p>

There were, of course, thoughts of Finn –what her life would be without him, would she be ale to continue without missing him, etcetera. There would always be a part of her that wondered what things would be like had she never gotten together with Jesse, but the part of her that knew it was for the best overshadowed any doubt.

Rachel stood in the guest bedroom of Kurt and Blaine's loft, searching through her closet for the appropriate dress to wear tomorrow. She had almost settled on a black number when her phone began buzzing again. _I must be popular today, _she thought.

She smiled, though, seeing it was Jesse. It was nice getting to be a couple now, not that they weren't before, but now they would never have to sneak around. A weight had been lifted off her shoulders and now she could smile without fear of giving anything away by being too happy.

"_Hey Jesse"  
>"Hey Rachel, how would you feel about a date tonight?"<em>

"_That depends… do I get to know what we're doing?"_

"_Dinner. Believe it or not I can go simple on occasion."_

"_I'm very impressed, St. James. _

_Yes, I would be delighted to go to dinner." _

"_Great. Where do Kurt and Blaine live?"_

"_I'll text you the address."_

"_Okay; see you at five?"_

"_See you at five."_

* * *

><p>Instead of saving the black dress for tomorrow, Rachel changed into it for tonight instead, pairing it with red heels, and red lipstick to match. This felt like their first real date, and she wanted to look nice for it.<p>

At five o'clock, Rachel found herself waiting in the lobby of Kurt and Blaine's apartment building, her face revealing nothing but a smile as Jesse hopped out of a cab.

She walked over to meet him, giving him a kiss before saying anything. "You ready?" Jesse asked, smiling.

"Of course I am," Rachel replied. She took his hand, lacing their fingers. "So, where are we going?" she asked.

"You'll find out," he answered. They walked onto the subway, and Rachel was thankful it wasn't too full. She took a seat, and Jesse followed suit, taking one right next to her.

"I hung out with Samantha, by the way," Rachel informed him after they had made light conversation.

"Oh no," Jesse groaned, "did she tell you anything terrible about me?" He asked mostly joking.

Rachel laughed and shook her head in response, "we mostly talked about Broadway." She considered talking about his ex, but she didn't want to bring it up on their date.

"Oh, we're here," Jesse said as they approached the next stop. The couple left the subway and walked towards their destination, holding hands again.

"I recognize this!" Rachel exclaimed, proud of herself for remembering the place they went on their date during her last trip to NYC.

Jesse laughed, "Still feel like you're going to get mugged?"

She pondered the question, "Maybe a little bit."

Walking into the restaurant, Rachel recognized the hostess as Amanda, the same girl who seated them last time.

"Welcome to Freemans," she started to say until realizing it was Jesse who walked into the door. "Oh, hey! It's been a while. There's a table ready for both of you right this way," Amanda smiled and led them to a table upstairs. It was different than the last room they sat in, but she liked this one just as much. The air was filled with quiet chatter and the smell of food; people around her smiled and laughed, and again there was a homey feeling to the place.

"I was worried Amanda would forget to put you in my section," Mark said laughing as he approached their table. "…Rachel, right?" he asked, to which Rachel replied with a smile and nod. "I'm proud of you, Jesse, you've managed to keep this girl around for a while."

"Well, I'm trying hard," Jesse said, smiling at Rachel.

"What do you guys want to drink?" Mark asked. Both Rachel and Jesse ordered water, and their waiter left to get them their drinks.

"This has to be my favorite place you've taken me," Rachel commented.

Jesse smiled, "it's no rooftop date, but yeah, I like this place, too."

Mark returned with their drinks, and took their orders, promising they would be out soon.

"You're wearing the ring," Jesse noticed; he pointed to her right hand, where she now wore the ring he had given her back in Ohio.

Rachel smiled and looked down at her hand; she had forgotten that she put it on before leaving for their date. "Yeah," she replied, "I figured it was time." Now that she no longer had to worry about Finn seeing it, she was happy to wear something Jesse had gotten her.

"Then I guess it's a good thing I didn't get you a ring this time," he said, pulling out a small box. Rachel looked at him, confused, "Jesse you didn't have to –"

Jesse shook his head, "it's our first date as a real couple, I wanted to."

Rachel felt bad about not getting him everything, but when she opened the box to reveal gold star earrings, she forgot about anything else. "Jesse, they're beautiful," she said breathlessly.

"They're a metaphor, right?" Jesse smiled, "Pretty soon everyone is going to know you're a star."

Rachel laughed at her gold star metaphor she held onto in high school. Since she wore no other earrings at the moment, she put both pieces of jewelry on.

"So, how do I look?" Rachel asked, her face glowing.

Jesse looked at her and swore he had never seen anyone more beautiful. She looked so happy and full of joy, and he knew a part of that was because of him. He wanted nothing more than for her to feel like that all the time. It was weird for him, caring about someone so much more than himself, but he felt great about it.

"I love you," he said smiling.

Rachel giggled, "I love you too, but that doesn't answer my question."

"Beautiful," Jesse replied.

* * *

><p>Rachel never wanted the date to end, but she had an audition the next morning, and he had his last Wicked performance that night, so, as unfortunate as it was, Jesse and she began walking towards Kurt and Blaine's after leaving Freemans.<p>

"Are Kurt and Blaine coming to Wicked tonight?" Jesse asked.

"I know Kurt is; I'll have to ask Blaine. West Side Story is opening Saturday, so I don't know if he'll be busy or not," Rachel answered.

"Well all three of you are invited to the cast party afterwards. I know a lot of the cast are going to invite their friends, so it's nothing exclusive," Jesse said.

"Okay," Rachel said, smiling brightly, "I'm sure they'll love to come."

Before she knew it, they had gotten to the foot of Kurt and Blaine's apartment building, and Rachel stopped, wishing they could live this night forever.

"I don't want this to end," Rachel sighed.

Jesse faced her and cupped her cheek, "just think about how great tomorrow will be." He smiled and kissed her softly. "You're going to ace your audition, and then we have all the time in the world," he said.

Rachel lifted herself onto her toes and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him gently. She pulled back and smiled at him, feeling nothing but love for the man in front of her. If it had to take them messing up so many times in high school to end up here, she wouldn't change it for anything in the world.

"I love you," Rachel said.

"I love you too," Jesse replied.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>So recently I've gotten into making fanmixes, and recently I made a St. Berry one, so check it out pls & thank you!

/amyduckpond/what-if-we-missed-our-chance

((Also I'm sorry if there are any typos I didn't have a beta for the last half of this chapter))


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: **guess who has two thumbs and is sorry she hasn't updated in a while? This author. It's getting kind of tough keeping up a muse with st. berry when I don't watch glee anymore, and it's pretty evident st. berry will make no return. However, I promise with gifsets and fanmixes I've been trying, and will continue to try to bring back my muse so this story can continue like it rightfully should.

Sorry I know that was long, but you all deserve some sort of explanation.

* * *

><p>Rachel bounced into Kurt and Blaine's room excitedly; the couple sat on their bed, watching tv and trying to wake up.<p>

"Guess what's tonight?" she said, opening their curtains before hopping onto the end of the bed. Normally she would never barge in on them, especially with how kind they've been to let her be their houseguest, but she was excited.

"How are you so awake this early?" Kurt asked, his eyes squinting while trying to adjust to the light.

She rolled her eyes, "It's eight-thirty, that's not _that _early. Besides, it's the closing night of Wicked!"

Blaine and Kurt exchanged a look. "And here I thought you were excited that it's last preview before opening night," Blaine said jovially.

"Oh, don't worry; I'll come busting into your room tomorrow morning about West Side Story," Rachel replied.

"Or you could make breakfast and wait for us to wake up," Kurt offered, mostly kidding.

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, pondering the thought. "I think I could do that."

"You're assuming she'll spend the night here, though," Blaine commented. She began to blush and ducked her head, trying to mask it. He did have a point.

"See? She can't even argue," he continued, amused at her response.

"If I make you breakfast now will that make up for tomorrow?" Rachel questioned.

"If it's French toast then yes," Kurt said, smiling now that he was awake.

"Great. I'll be back," she said, skipping out of their bedroom and into the kitchen. She realized she was acting like a kid on Christmas, but she was too happy to care.

While grabbing the various ingredients out of the fridge and cabinets, Rachel pulled her phone out to call Jesse and see if he was awake yet.

"Hello?" His voice sounded gruff, and she worried about waking him.

"Oh, did I wake you up?"

"What? No, no… What's up?"

Rachel knew he was lying, but she knew he wouldn't admit it, so she simply pretended to believe it.

"I just wanted to see how Fiyero was feeling about closing night."

"It would be better if you were my Elphaba."

"We could always sing As Long As You're Mine whenever I come over."

"Does that include the implied scene after the song?"

"It might."

As Rachel fumbled with the pans for the toast, she accidentally dropped one resulting in a large crash. "Shoot," she mumbled, picking the pan up off the floor.

"You okay...?" she heard Jesse ask over the speakerphone.

"Yeah, I'm just making Kurt and Blaine breakfast."

"Speaking of them, are they coming tonight?"

"Blaine won't be able to make the performance due to his own, but he'll be at the cast party afterwards."

"Okay, great. I can't wait to see you tonight."

"I can't wait to see you either."

"Love you."

"Love you, too."

Rachel smiled to herself and sighed; she felt like a teenager, swooning over her relationship. The saying of 'I love you' was still new, and she took every opportunity to say it now that she could.

"So, you're saying I love you now?" Kurt asked, startling Rachel, who jumped in the air and grasped her chest.

"You can't do that! You know when I'm daydreaming I scare easily," she said, smiling despite him scaring her.

"You scare easy all the time," Kurt pointed out with a laugh. "I came to see if you needed help."

"I thought I was making this for you and Blaine?" Rachel asked, rummaging around and pushing a bowl and eggs towards him.

"You are, but I didn't want you burning our apartment down," he joked, cracking two of the eggs into the bowl and throwing away the shells.

She gasped with mock offense, "I wouldn't burn it down."

"I love you, but you've never been the best cook," he said, giving her a look.

"After five years of cooking at home, I happen to have a knack for it," she shrugged.

Kurt stopped what he was doing to look over at her. She continued on as if what she had said meant nothing, but he knew it wasn't an easy subject.

"To answer your question, we are saying I love you, by the way," Rachel said quietly, switching topics a little too quickly. Kurt stood looking at her, not messing with the food, while Rachel continued to keep her eyes on the counter, finally putting the toast on the stove.

"And you do love him?" he asked, honestly looking out for her.

She turned around to look at him, hoping he would see how much she truly did. "I do, Kurt. I know we never worked out back in Lima, but I think we needed to get it wrong a few times before we could finally get it right."

He looked at her and nodded; though he asked her multiple times if she believed the two would work out, this time he was fully convinced she was happy. "So, what has he done to sweep you off your feet so far?" Kurt asked.

Rachel's face broke out into a smile, and she tossed her arms around Kurt, pulling him into a hug. "Everything," she said, taking a step back. "We've been ice skating, gone to shows. Oh, Kurt, you should have seen the date he set up once; it was on the terrace of a hotel, with lights hanging everywhere, and the ring he gave me was gorgeous," she said, each new thought rambling over the last.

The part about a ring caused him to raise an eyebrow; surprised Jesse would give her a ring despite her still being with Finn, or so he assumed. "Do you have it?" he asked.

"The ring? Of course," she said, revealing the necklace that previously hid under her shirt. "I thought I'd wear it tonight... Properly, I mean," she wondered aloud, staring down at the jewelry. "Speaking of which, you are going, right?"

Kurt nodded to affirm his answer, "I'll be there. Blaine wishes he could, but he'll meet us later."

"I can hardly wait, can you?" she asked, spinning around the check on the French toast that was now done.

"You're going to be even more excited when I show you the dress I made," Kurt gushed.

Rachel got the toast onto two plates, setting everything up so she could hand one to Kurt and bring the other to Blaine. "You made another one? You didn't have to do that," she said, handing him one plate.

"Please, you know I wanted to," Kurt replied, walking back into the bedroom with Rachel close behind.

"What took you two so long?" Blaine joked as the two walked in. Rachel handed him the second plate, continuing to stand as Kurt took a seat next to Blaine.

"Are you not staying?" Kurt asked.

"No, I think I'll give you two a morning without me. I'll be back later, anyway, to get ready for Wicked," she said casually.

"Text me later so we can go get your dress," Kurt said as she began to head out of the room.

"You know I will," Rachel called out, not bothering to turn around as she left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>I swear this wasn't going to be a filler chapter and then it sort of was, but you got _some_ st. berry, right?

I know. Please don't hate me.

Also, I realized that in the previous chapter, I informed you all that I had made a fanmix, but only gave you the last half of the link (oops). Anywhoo, if you want to listen to some tunes that remind me of st. berry go to

8tracks/amyduckpond (in case you don't know, 8tracks is the website and then its /amyduckpond)

under there are 3 st. berry fanmixes, as well as some other stuff fandom/non-fandom related.


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